Steadfast
by Gemmadog
Summary: A Molly and Charles story. For these two career orientated individuals the course of true love never does run smooth...or may not even get started at all!
1. Chapter 1

**Steadfast**

**Chapter1**

"Smurf mate, she's way out of your league. You're wasting your time." She laughed at how obvious he was, shoving his pint towards him as a distraction. 

"What do you mean Mols?" He turned to her. "She's into me I can tell." 

Molly snorted at him, she knew he didn't have a chance, never really had most of the time, but he still always tried, and she loved him for that. 

Smurf's was her best mate. They had been through almost everything together. First meeting during basic training, where they had been rivals, but soon became best buds. They had even been on several tours together too. For the past eight years they had been mates. Only once in that time, for a very brief and thankfully very forgettable month, they had foolishly been something more to each other. However both realising very quickly that them together in that way was wrong, and so they remained the best of mates, that's the way they worked, the only way they worked….just as mates. 

He was a hopeless high achiever however when it came to women. Molly had seen him fail many a time, and the very slim, tall, blonde in the corner of the bar was his latest project, and Molly was certain she was going to be his next failure too. Molly admitted that she was beautiful, very much so, and hence so out of her mate's league. Standing there in the bar looking perfect and very made up Molly knew her type. The type of immaculate beauty who came to bars such as these to get the best on offer. Molly guessed that she was probably after an officer type of guy, and not an experienced, salt of the earth NCO, like her mate Smurf was. Although Molly was the first to admit that he was probably worth a thousand of the type of soldier the blonde was after, he still wouldn't be her type.

"I'm tellin ya Mols. As soon as I get talking to her she'll not be able to resist." Smurf told her confidently, then winked and strode off to take on his challenge. 

She shook her head as she watched him walk away over to the cool blonde. The blonde, who she was fairly certain, hadn't even noticed Smurf until he pushed his way towards her space. She saw her mate however try to work his magic, and was happily amazed that it seemed, for a now at least, to be working. The girl responded to Smurf well. She played with her hair, accepted the drink he bought her and battered her eyelashes, all in all she was downright flirting back at her Smurf. For once Smurf seemed to be in with a chance. 

Molly hoped so. She stood there alone though now at the bar mulling over her life.

It had been a good life so far she thought. The Army, her everything, had taught her well. Made her proud to become the soldier that she was. She thrived in its environment, the order, the routine, the definite expectations, and the belief in her. All these were things she had very little of when she was growing up. She'd worked hard during her time in, and in those eight years as a medic she had been risen up through the ranks and had received promoted to a Corporal. Something she was very proud about but, like Smurf, she had her sights though set higher.

It amused her that somehow, somewhere along the way she had turned into a bit of a career girl. Certainly a million miles away from the Molly Dawes who had first joined up. Then she'd joined up out of desperation, an escape from her dead end life. Yet found it really suited her this life, Army life. She was the first however to admit that she had been unlucky in love, a few really bad love affairs if she was honest, and so basically she had just given up on men in general. She instead had a her sights set on becoming a Sergeant in the next few years... before Smurf if she could. She therefore didn't need any distractions. 

Smurf didn't seem to have those worries. From where she stood he could see he was more focused on another task, and she was pretty impressed at his progress. She watched the two of them, recognising a definite chemistry. Fascinated but happy for him as she'd obviously measured up the blonde all wrong. Just as she was feeling more confident with Smurf's chances, the bar door opened and she saw it was all about to turn to shit for him. 

She saw him as soon as he walked into the bar. Tall. Very tall. Seriously good looking, and she guessed in his late twenties just like her. Very confident she thought. The male version of the blonde Smurf was chatting up, except he had beautiful brown hair almost curly hair and eyes that swept the room. He was too was perfectly dressed and carried himself as he was so sure of himself. Every woman in the bar turned to notice him, but he didn't notice any of them, he was determined in his gaze. Fixed on finding someone. His perfect match she guessed. 

Briefly his eyes stopped on Molly, a faint smile came to his lips as they did, but then his gaze moved on. She saw him raise his hand and his greeting was acknowledge by the woman Smurf was with.

Feeling bad for her mate, that inevitably he was going to lose out to this good looking fella, she also felt a bit sad for herself too. Molly knew she wasn't bad looking, and was briefly flattered that he'd even noticed her at all in a bar full of hungry for love women, but then he'd turned away and she felt….disappointed. She knew she was certainly no match for the stunning model he'd started to walk over to, and so instead she just watch on.

From what she saw they appeared to know one another very well and hugged and kissed as soon as they were close enough. Poor Smurf was quite forgotten by her, for a while at least, as she talked to the beautiful new comer. His face was like thunder and was resigned, just about to make his way back over to Molly when the beauty touched him on the arm and introduced him to Mr Handsome. This surprised Molly, and Smurf too, but quickly the smile reappeared on his face as he was included once more. 

Molly watched it all for a few moment as the three of them appeared to get on. Conversation flowing between them all. Mr Handsome frequently throwing his head back in laughter at the jokes being told. She felt very much a third wheel, felt left out, wishing she had an excuse to go over to join them, but knowing she had none, and so was starting to consider leaving. Looking round she saw that there was no one else out tonight that she really wanted to be nice with, or suffer, and so she figured on an early Friday night, just like all the other Friday nights recently. Getting early to be would be she justified, good for her.

All ideas of leaving went out of her head however when Smurf interrupted her thoughts as he came over, bringing with him not only the blonde but Mr Handsome too. At this stage Molly thought her night was definitely looking up. 

A fresh round of drinks were offered and gallantly to be bought by Smurf, he left them to place the order and the blonde very quickly went to join him. It was obvious the two were much into each other, and neither in any hurry to get back to join her and Mr Handsome.

Molly stood awkwardly next to the young man who was even more beautiful up close. Silence loomed briefly. 

"Charles." He offered out his hand. His voice smooth and well spoken. It was perfect, almost like him she thought.

She didn't mean to but she actually laughed at how he'd introduced himself, the way in which he'd said his name. She saw a flash of hurt roll across his face, and instantly regretted it.

"What's so fucking funny about Charles?" He asked. 

"Nothing. Oh no. Sorry. Nothing." And then she put her hand out. "Molly. Nice to meet you." 

He accepted her outstretched hand and looked her straight in the eyes, which she unashamedly fluttered slightly. A slight grin crossed his face, and she continued to stare at him, believing he was just as good looking up close as from afar. Even more so now she could see his own chocolate intense like eyes that returned her gaze. Mr Handsome, the name she had secretly christened him, was a very fitting name for him she believed. 

"Well those two seem to be hitting it off." She dipped her head to Smurf and his young lady. They were very close and the inevitable was plain to see for all very definitely going to happen. She briefly wondered if Mr Handsome, Charles, minded. 

"They certainly do. That's Rebecca for you. She'll go with just about anything with a pulse." He replied. There was no bitterness or regret in his voice she noticed. 

"Oi. That's me mate". She indignantly replied. Fearing he'd just insulted Smurf. 

"Oh shit sorry. No I didn't mean that. It's just well... shit... she's my cousin...Rebecca...and she likes attention. A lot of attention. That's all I'm saying." He pulled at the curls on the back of his head as he spoke, and ashamedly looked to the ground taking his beautiful brown eyes away from her momentarily. 

Molly found it cute how he was trying to dig himself out of a hole. She hadn't really been offended, she thought how could she be when someone who had eyes like that stood in front of her? 

"Well I guess." She said letting him off the hook. "When you're that good looking you're bound to get lots of attention." She looked up at him questionably, pleased to see a smile return to his face. 

"Yeah? You reckon?" As though he didn't have a clue about how he'd turned heads just minutes before. Then after a moments silence he said. "I guess she is good looking. Though what do I know, she's my cousin? Known her all my life. Though..." He stopped there considering the beautiful Rebecca, who was now half wrapped around Smurf. 

"What?" She turned to him, enjoying another chance for her gaze to linger over his face, longer than absolutely necessary. 

"Well... I don't know….for me she just might be a bit too perfect... too made up...looking exactly how she should look all the time." He considered Rebecca again and finished off with. "And way too thin for me." 

She laughed. 

"Well thank God you're not my cousin. Who needs bleeding enemies when you've family like you." 

He considered her for a moment and then joined in with her happy laughter.

"I mighty make you right there" He said, finding himself very happy in her company. 

And so it happened. Smurf and Rebecca moved away from them, into a quiet corner and brief flashes continued to show they were getting to know each other every well. Molly was impressed. Charles seemed to hardly notice them at all. He offered Molly a drink, to replace the ones that hadn't appeared earlier, and she gratefully accepted, all thoughts of going home leaving her head.

They talked and talked. Molly found he was so easy to talk to, as well as funny, charming and an utter gentleman. He was giving her just the right amount of attention to make her feel special. Something she hadn't felt for a long time. As the drinks flowed, the company got even more enjoyable and Molly started to think that she might just fancy Mr Handsome a bit, and that her recent mantra that she was better off without a man was now long forgotten. He was seriously good looking and she found it hard not to keep staring at him. Her eyes almost constantly drawn back to his face whenever they could. Watching him, watching the habit of how he played with his curly locks at the back of his head, nervously running his hand through them when he thought she wasn't looking. The way he caught his teeth in his lower lip when amused. She found it all mesmerising, and very sexy. 

The night started to pass quickly. The hours they spent together going so much better than Charles had hoped. He found he really was enjoying Molly's company, almost as much as she appeared to be enjoying his. He loved staring at her, finding her very beautiful. Not only that he found her to be lovely company and for once, for the first time in a very long while her felt he was in danger of seriously fancying this petite, beautiful girl that lady lucky had introduced him to tonight. 

He hadn't been lucky in love over the years, he'd be the first to admit that. He smiled in realising that this was something others generally found it hard to believe, that he struggled with the ladies. He knew he was quiet, a serious guy on the outside and with the mixed group of friends he had, a group who were all very loud and very outgoing, sometimes in a crowd Charles was just missed. His better looking, chattier, louder friends always the successful ones on nights out with the ladies. It had actually become a bit of a joke lately amongst them that that Charles was married to the Army and so didn't have time for love. 

The truth was however although he was dedicated, and he did love his job, it was also the fact that Charles was actually quite shy. Despite the military persona he was thankfully able to project at work, the confident man he at times pretended to be, around the ladies Charles was generally quite shy and reserved, and at times awkward.

There had been a few girls over the years that he'd somehow fallen onto relationships with. Some of them were semi-serious, while some of them were very definitely mistakes. Most of these had been Rebecca's friends, who were generally vacuous, self-obsessed ladies that Charles couldn't understand why he'd gotten involved with them in the first place. One or two had ended badly, and his Mum, his confidant and number one supporter, kept telling him that there was someone out there for everyone, but as yet Charles hadn't found the one for him. Charles though to be honest wasn't too worried. He knew he just hadn't found the one or anyone who he even thought could come close enough. So instead he focused on his career.

"So Molly?" He asked. "What is it you do for a living." For once he was surprisingly interested in what filled this pretty woman's day. He felt bold around her. She was different. She wasn't overly made up, she was dressed simply in tight jeans and a pretty blouse. Nothing about her was artificial, her nails were short, and her hands looked worn. Yet still she was so very beautiful. She intrigued him and he wanted to know more. 

She'd been waiting for this question. It always came up, eventually, when she was out with a bloke. Sometimes she'd tell the truth, sometimes she just didn't. It was easier that way. In general, from past experience, once she'd told them about herself men either ran from her, or were ridiculously so fascinated they spent the rest of the night asking her stupid questions based on their biased assumptions about women in the military.

Tonight though with Charles she very much wanted to tell him the truth. Crossing her fingers that he wasn't going to be a runner. She would be disappointed if he was, and did to an extent understand why. She knew some men ridiculously found her job intimidating and whenever she moaned about it to Smurf he always told her that she should try dating squaddies instead of the useless non-military men she had disastrously tried in the past. Molly after a while had to admit he did seem to have a valid point. 

"I'm in the Army." She said and waited for him to looked shocked. She was surprised, he didn't even bat an eye lid. Merely continued to sip on his drink as though it was something he heard every day. 

"Yeah? Doing what?" Was all his reply as he swallowed his drink down. 

"A medic." She answered, pausing briefly then continued. "Been in just over eight years now. I love it." And then she waited, it was usually about right now that some men got scared off or started to say something inappropriate. All the while thinking of ways for the date to end. 

"Right. Me to." He answered and he saw the shock in her eyes. He smiled, a heavenly smile, at her to reassure her, settle her confusion. "I'm in the Army too. Been in nine years or so." 

"No? What do you do?" She beamed back, happy for once to talk shop. What she wondered was happening to her! 

"Yeah. Honest. I'm a Captain. Two section." He answered and smiled as she scoffed. 

"Ha. I should have known. You're a bleeding Rupert." She laughed out. Silently cursing herself. She should have seen the signs though. So much for her observational skills. Here he was standing in front of her with all the clues. The perfect haircut, the beautiful manners, and the self assurance he oozed as he walked in the room. 

"You?" He asked. She knew what he was asking. 

"Corporal." She answered then swigged at her drink to avoid answering anymore questions. Secretly glancing at him from the rim of her glass. Wondering if the difference in their ranks would be an issue. 

He was silent for a while, and she guessed this was probably the end of a very nice evening. Now he knew what she was, what she did and him being a Captain and all, it just wasn't his thing. Yet he surprised her. He didn't make his excuses, he continued talking. In fact he just kept on going, asking her loads of questions and being very interested in her answers. Questions for once she didn't mind answering, they were thoughtful, considered and made her really feel happy to answer. He really wanted to know about her and her life, and all that was in it. He wanted to know about her and it thrilled Molly. 

As they talked they soon discovered that although not stationed very close to one another, they were close enough. Close enough, Molly hoped, that maybe, one day they could meet up again, though she never said the words out loud. She was definitely not that forward, but she did have a warm fuzzy feeling inside of her at the thought of the possibility of seeing him again. 

As the night and conversation went on Charles began to be convinced she was more and more beautiful, and thankfully it wasn't the beer googles making him think that. He was driving, so a strict no alcohol while driving policy was etched into his brain. Sensible as always. Therefore he was in complete control of his thoughts and feelings. No he thought it was the way her face lit up when they talked, how her precious gem green eyes twinkled with mischief and promise as she looked at him... these were all the things that made her beautiful. And then there was that smile. God that smile he thought... it would melt any heart. In fact the more time he spent with Molly the more he felt seriously attracted to her, and his shyness abated. 

Soon though the time to say goodnight came upon them. Embarrassingly they were the last to leave the bar, asked to leave by the staff. Both not having noticed how empty the place had become. Nor had they noticed Smurf and Rebecca's departure. He offered her a lift back to her barracks, and she accepted.

His hands brushed softly, almost unnoticeably against her back as he held open the door of the passenger side of the car. They both felt the sensation, the smile between them said it all. Then as he drove her home, every now and then his hand accidentally brushed her knees as he changed gears. It thrilled them both, and still they smiled.

Conversation continued so easily between the two of them, soft and gently as the night. It surprised Charles just how easy it all was, it had never been like this before.

As the miles went by she knew, Molly knew very much so that she wanted to kiss this charming man goodnight, she wanted to be kissed by him. That tonight had been one of her best nights ever. She so wanted to see him again. She felt certain he felt the same way by the way she caught him looking at her as he drove.

For Charles it had been the longest, yet shortest drive of his life. He knew he'd soon have to say goodbye to this amazing woman. He brought the car to a stop outside her barracks and killed the engine. Both turning to face each other. He so badly wanted to kiss her, and judging by the way she slightly leant forward, he knew that's what she wanted too. 

To kiss her was all he wanted to do. 

Yet he didn't…..because if he did he knew he wouldn't be able to stop.

He knew that it wouldn't be fair. It was torture, but the right thing to do.

Rubbish timing was not the word. He was off...re-stationed for a year. Leaving in a week or so, tonight had intended to be a farewell drink with Rebecca. The last thing he wanted, or needed to do was to get emotionally involved before he left. He knew from past experiences it was a bad idea. It had happened to him before, and it always ended in disaster. Generally it was their hearts that were broken, not his.

He couldn't risk it therefore. He didn't want to do that to her. Molly was too special a girl to mess it all up because of his departure. His inability to commit because of something out of his control. Yet he did hold out one small hope though, a pipe dream really. Hoping that on his return, with the Army being a small place, they might even meet up again, but he really doubted it. A year was a long time to expect such a beautiful woman to remain unattached, or even to wait for him. Though he knew, that just after this one night with her, that if the shoe was on the other foot he would most definitely wait out for her, he thought she was worth it. 

And so all he did was lean across and quickly, pecked her on the cheek. Very friendly, almost brotherly. He saw her disappointment and how she swallowed it down, and acted as though everything was fine. This surprisingly hurt him. He easily could of given her what she wanted, what he wanted, to kiss her, but he didn't. The officer in him, the gentleman in him being strong, knowing starting something with this beautiful medic, when he very well knew he'd not be able to finish, was wrong.

And so he let her go. 

"Night. It was lovely to meet you Molly." He said. Offering his hand again. 

"Yeah. You too." Molly replied as she shook it. Miffed at his politeness. She'd wanted passion. 

Then she turned away.

She'd got it all wrong. A total Fuck Muppet she thought.

She really felt that there had been something there.

Amazed he hadn't tried to kiss her.

Molly not confident enough to make the first move, so she just accepted the peck and walked away. 

Walking back to her room she sighed.

It really had been a perfect night.

Charles, she didn't even know his last name, had been everything she'd been fooling herself she didn't need.

Yet here she was force into his company, and she found he was everything she did need in her life. 

Yet he'd just let her walk away. It was a shame he didn't feel the same, she thought, and so she went to bed alone.

Just her and her dreams of Mr Handsome. 


	2. Chapter 2

Steadfast

Chapter 2

She reckoned it had been the worse few hours she'd ever spent. She knew it wasn't going to be fun but what she had just done took the bleeding biscuit. 

Molly had just spent the past six hours of her twelve hour shift cataloguing the thousands of vaccinations that had come in. Hours spent recording and re checking serial numbers and expiration dates. Totally boring. She knew though it was important. That the vaccines were essential for the outreach project they were involved in, and that she was just a cog in a bigger wheel, but God it really was boring! 

She'd taken this tour because it sounded exciting. It was, so far, she found, most definitely mis-sold to her. Promises of outreach work, refugees, training locals all given to her. As yet thought the weeks she spent here she hadn't even stepped outside of the store room and the med centre clinics. The exciting promises somehow hadn't materialised. 

She counted herself lucky though she was here for only three months. Some other poor buggers were here for a lot longer. Staying in a hot sandy country at the arse end of nowhere. Somewhere if, she had to be honest, she really hadn't heard of before the offer, and she'd had to look up it on the map before she left to find out exactly where it was. Three months she sighed, three potentially dull months. She'd been in worse places, she knew that so she shouldn't really complain, but she was, and so she hoped for some action bloody soon. 

She walked over to the med centre. The rest of her shift was to be taken up providing first aid, and treatment in the walk in centre. That she hoped at least would have some activity about it. Especially as she'd heard on the grape vine that several sections over the course of the day had returned back to the camp from their prolonged missions stays somewhere out there amongst the sand. Most would need some form of basic medical help on their return. She looked forward to a fun shift. As yet though she saw no signs of any activity. All she saw was sand and more sand. 

She looked around the plain sterile room and started to familiarise herself with its lay out and equipment. Expecting customers soon. Imagining it would be the usual infected bites, and sand sweat rashes the soldiers would come in complaining about. Always mentioning the lesser embarrassing problems before they came back a few days later with the boils, itches, and flea infestations all in intimate places. 

He walked across the assembly area. Bloody grateful that he was back in the main camp after three weeks of living in the hot sandy conditions of the relief camps. It was still as hot and sandy here but at least they had running water, flushable toilets, and proper cots to sleep in at night...away from the sand flies and anything else that crawled. Even though it was basic it was pure heaven compared to what he'd had. 

As soon as they returned he dismissed his section, he sadly though still had work to do. The rest of the section gratefully went off to immediately take advantages of hot water and semi decent showers. He had bloody paper work to do and others to brief. And so it wasn't until several hours later that he was able to shower. A process that should have been absolute bliss, to stand under the hot water washing away all the desert grim. However it wasn't. His feet were bloody killing him. He'd managed to acquire several large painful blisters over the past three weeks. The punishment for not being able to wash his feet or changing his socks too often. And so he knew that straight after his painful shower he'd have to attend the med centre for treatment. 

She was looking at her clip board reading who her next patient would be. Paying little attention to much else. A Captain James, 'blistered feet' nothing out of the ordinary, a bog standard soldier's injury. She rounded the corner to find him already sitting in her consulting room, his head bent over as he worked on slowly easing his boots and socks off his bloodied feet. She recognised him though even at that angle. The brown curly locks that had sun lightened streaks in them from the constant sun he'd been subjected too. The perfect fingers working the way over his laces and socks. The long legs that hung over the edge of her exam couch. All parts of him she recognised, had once even dreamed about. 

She didn't have time to prepare herself however as he turned to look at her as she entered. Immediately respectful of his rank despite the circumstances she saluted. Face void of emotion and totally professional. 

He took in the medic before him. Acknowledging the salute from the soldier before he actually saw who the person was. However when he did his face broke out into a smile that he hadn't used since the last time he'd seen her over six months ago. 

"Molly." He cried out with genuine happiness. "God it's good to see you again. Really good." Finding it hard to believe that she was here in front of him. That they were together again in this place if all places. 

"Sir. Charles." She beamed back at him. "Good to see you too." Mindful that it had been a long time since they had last seen one another, but equally mindful just how pleased she was to see him. 

She turned to his blisters. Scolded him for allowing them to get so crippling bad. Gave him painkillers, antibiotics and dressed them. Her touch was tender, more tender than other times she'd tended to soldier's feet. Usually she was firmer, teaching them a lesson so they wouldn't do it again. But not this time. Not with Charles. It was nice him being there and once again their conversation flowed. 

Charles explained what he was doing there, and for how long. While Molly just listened as she kept on with her administrations. He chatted happily and it drew her back to that one and only time they'd met before. Together, the two of them together, it was just easy. 

"So Molly what about you? What are you doing here? How long?" He gushed out, feeling slightly giddy in her company. 

"I'm only her for three months. Just a short tour for me. I'll be long gone by the time you've finished." She teased. She watched him groan. 

"Yes another six months for me." He sighed. Then laughed. "It's not the best posting I've ever had. So bloody hot all the time." 

She agreed. The consultation room at least had some type of primitive air conditioning, so working inside wasn't too bad. Just though as soon as they'd step outside she knew she'd be hit by a wall of heat that caused everyone, no matter who they were, to be drenched in sweat within minutes. 

Eventually his treatment, her care of him came to an end and he had to leave. Pleased to hear that his feet were so bad that he'd need to return to the med centre every day to have them and the infection checked. On hearing this he knew that each and every visit he'd make over the next few days he'd make only when Molly was on duty! 

The next following weeks they saw each other as much as Charles could help it. He timed his and his sections meal breaks, as best he could, around the times that med centre staff had theirs. Almost guaranteeing that he met up with Molly. She always seemed happy to see him and joined in easily with the banter of his section and their teasing. Always respectful as she needed to be, never taking their friendship too far amongst his men. 

Meal breaks where fun times for him. Happy times in an otherwise pretty dull posting. Once, at least more often than that if he could help it, twice a day was better, he had his meals with her. It was an informal place at meal times, and everyone sort out anyone's company. He missed her when it didn't happen, when they didn't meet or he had to share her, but delighted when it did and he had her all to himself. They got on so well, her company he found was so easy to be in. 

Yet it wasn't these meal breaks that he enjoyed the most. It was the private times he had with her, guaranteed, once a day every day, while she tended to his blisters. It was in this time he stopped being the stern Captain and could be himself with her. Just Molly and Charles. He could be the someone, who was, finding himself day by day fancying this beautiful, and his eyes, perfect medic. 

She laughed with him, her approach to him softer more friendly when they were alone. Talking to each other about their families, their lives, anything. Words didn't seem to matter, they were always saying something very unspoken to one another just in the mere meeting of their eyes. The care she gave to his everyday improving blisters was just secondary. 

"Got a letter from Smurf today." She said one morning as she was rising off his wounds. "Him and Rebecca still going strong by the sounds of it." 

"Really?" Said Charles. That's surprised him. That was not like Rebecca at all. "What's it been now like six months? It was in that bar in my town wasn't it? That's when I first met you?"

Molly smiled at him, pleased he remembered the night Smurf and Rebecca met. She was smiling cause she at that very moment remembered it too. It was a turning point in her life. He'd made her feel beautiful, special and although nothing happened between them she knew after that night she hadn't wanted to be alone anymore.

"Seems as though it's love." Molly continued expecting some sarcastic comment from him. She'd noticed over the past weeks that Charles gave the impression at times the 'L' word was not something he believed in. 

He merely raised his eye brows though and said; 

"Lucky guy." 

This totally shocked her. He laughed when he saw her face. 

"What you thought Dawes I was immune to a love story? I can tell though you're a sucker for one." 

She blushed and smiled back at him, the tone he'd used, the way he dipped his head and grinned at her showed her he was teasing. Something he did to her a lot, and something that she liked a lot. 

"Nah. Not me I'm not a hearts and flowers type of girl. But I'm pleased for Smurf. He's a top guy. He deserves someone nice." Then she looked up at him as she stood crouching down before him dressing his feet. Testing the water. "Never had you pegged for a romantic. Thought you were Army through and through mate." 

"Ah well there's a lot about me you don't know." He answered quickly. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her, if, when they got home, she'd like to find out. But he didn't. He still had nearly five months left to go, it still would have been unfair, and so instead he put his faith in Lady Luck instead. 

She stared at him, eyes fixed and almost pleading with him once again for something more. They stayed staring for moments but nothing more was said. 

Molly was the first one to break the spell. Mindful of her rank and role. 

"So your feet are ok now. Almost perfect thanks to me." She moved away with a small giggle and started to clear up her dressing packs. 

"Really? Great." But he didn't mean that. Healed feet meant less time with Molly. "Perfect timing." He continued. "We're off out again tomorrow to one of the relief stations. Can't believe they got better so quickly." Silently cursing his quick healing flesh.

"Well what can I say Sir." Slyly looking at him. He always insisted in private it was just Molly and Charles. The use of his rank was something she rarely therefore use. "I'm obviously the nuts when it comes to being a medic." 

"Yes. I guess you are." He let the slip of his name to rank go. "About that I was wondering if you fancied coming with us. Got it cleared with your CO. Could do with an experienced medic with us. What do you think?" He said it casually but his heart was racing, anticipating her answer. 

She turned fully to him. The weeks of boredom meant she didn't pause to accept the piece of excitement he was offering her. 

"I'd bloody love it. I mean that is if it's cleared and that." She almost skipped over to him and hugged him. He almost let her, both stopping themselves at the right time. 

"Thought you had an medic though?" She asked. 

He stood and tested the new dressing on his feet, scratching his hand through his curls. "Ah well yeah we do but between you and I." He gazed around the room as though someone else might hear his military secret. They wouldn't they were alone. "I don't rate her. She has this knack of getting into trouble and not following orders. Bit of a fucking liability if you ask me. Need someone I can depend on." 

"What?" She liked his compliment. "And that's me?" 

"Certainly is. You've shown me how good you are. Plus you've clearly won me round with your incredible charm and magnetism." He laughed as she playfully swiped him on the arm. "Anyway." He continued. "She's a bit of a plastic Barbie type, the medic, not too sure if she's cut out for it at all." 

Molly laughed again at the assessment of the sections medic. She had seen her walking around camp, courting attention, and constantly looking for reassurance. Molly thought he had summed Lance Corporal Lane up perfectly. 

The day came when they were shipped off to the relief camp. It was everything that two sections promised it was going to be. Hot, hard work and heart breaking. Molly though loved it; it was what she'd expected when she signed up for this tour, helping the poor locals. All went well, they did the job they were paid to do and there were no incidents. Apart from Molly having to pull Lane up once or twice for sheer bloody laziness, and so when her weeks were up she was sad to leave. Two section and Charles would be following her a few days later and they were sad to see Molly go too. 

He missed her. He'd never missed anyone quite so much before, and so as soon as he entered the main camp, as soon as he had dumped his stuff, he raced over to the med centre to find her. Totally oblivious to the small smirks and sniggers from the rest of two section as they saw his eagerness to find her. She was all he'd really talked about since she left, and they could see their esteemed Captain might be a bit taken with the beautiful Molly Dawes. 

He almost burst into the med centre in his eagerness, searching for her and being directed to her consult room. As soon as she called for him to enter after his knock he knew there was something wrong. Her shoulders hung low, her voice was flat and when she turned to greet him her eyes were red and a faint watery smile tried to spread across her face. 

"Hi." She choked out. 

He was over in front of her in two steps of his long legs.

"God Molly what's wrong?" He asked pained to see her upset. 

She burst out a sob. 

"Sorry. Sorry. It just I got a letter from home." She pointed to her damp piece of paper on the exam couch. 

"Shit bad news." He said almost regretting stating the bleeding obvious when she was so clearly upset. 

"Yeah." She nodded at him, brushing tears from her eyes. "It's Teddy. He died." And with that, those words, she totally broke down. 

There was nothing else to do, nothing else he wanted to do. He pulled her into him and hugged her. Giving her support, comforting her. Forgetting about the days of grim and sweat she'd experience in his hold. He just needed to comfort her. 

They found their way over to the exam couch and sat down. She was still tightly pulled into him, and he loved the fact she was clinging on to him as much as he was her. His hand found its way down her back stroking it, while his head rested perfectly on hers and he dropped soft kisses into her hair as she cried. If she noticed she didn't react. If she didn't like it she didn't ask him to stop. 

"I know I'm being stupid. We knew it was coming. He had cancer you see, so we knew. But I loved him so much. He was only 9. You don't expect them to die at 9?" And she sobbed and sobbed, wetting his greens, and grasping him even tighter in this new outburst of grief that rolled through her body. 

"Fuck Molly. 9! Oh God I'm so sorry. Look what's your CO doing about getting you home? You need to get home."

He was surprised by her pulling away from him and the puzzled look on her face. 

"Nothing. I didn't think to ask." She said. 

"Hell Molly why not?" He was amazed she hadn't asked for compassionate leave. "I'll go for you. Get you on the next flight home. I'm so sorry. Who was he your brother?" 

She pulled herself completely out of his grasp now, and instantly he missed her. He was horrified to see a smile play across her lips and the beginning of laughter start. He tried not to judge her, blamed her inappropriateness on her shock, grief. 

"He's not my brother you numpty. He's the family dog." And with this she started to let out a broken, hiccup filled laugh at his mistake. 

Charles was shocked. 

"Your dog. Your bloody dog."

He threw his head back and laughed along with her. 

Quite a while later he left her company. She was calmer now. They talked about her pet, Teddy and his life. He left her smiling. He left her with apologies for smelling so bad, but all she could do was thank him for his kindness, and the feeling that when he'd gone just how lonely she now felt. It had been oh so good to be held in his arms. The way he held her made her feel safe, and she regretted it would probably never happen again. 

Things in their routine, in that hot place, though started to change. Charles and his section became more in demand and the consequence was their meet ups became less frequent. Molly herself was equally as busy, but was also preparing for her short tour to end. She was happy to be leaving, nothings about this tour had been fun, expect she admitted her time with Charles and the boys of two section. She knew when she left she wanted to stay in touch with them all, but hoped more so that Charles would suggest that he'd like to stay in touch with her too. 

As she walked to the transport she was saddened that she hadn't had seen Charles for a few days. Hadn't got to say goodbye. He of course knew she was leaving and when, but on the actual day he wasn't there. She slipped a note in his pigeon hole in the mess tent. A quick note with her name and address and a cheeky line asking him not to be a stranger. If it hadn't been for him she doubted she could have survived this tour. He'd been a good mate. But she was so looking forward to getting home. To getting back to the life she had started on before the tour. 

She couldn't believe it when she saw him sitting on the bus, waiting for her. His kit bag loaded beside him. A ridiculous happy look on his face. 

"You going somewhere? Sir?" She asked as she flopped down next to him. 

"Indeed I am Dawes." He answered. "Two weeks R and R. Thought I'd keep you company until Brize if that's ok with you."

Little did she know just what strings he'd had to pull to get the exact departure date as her. He'd even told a few white lies to gain success in his mission.

She could see he was happy and guessed it was the two weeks R and R that had put the silly little boy's type grin on his face. She matched his smile, happy for his company. It was usually a long boring 15 hours of travel. So having a friend she told herself always helped. 

They actually did little talking. Molly fell asleep almost as soon as they left the main camp. Her head lolled and eventually rested on Charles' shoulder. He shifted himself to make her more comfortable, every now and then he'd brush fine stray hairs from her face when they touched her nose or irritated her. She was beautiful asleep he thought. All cares and stress melted away. He laughed as he romanticised her sleeping form, skilfully ignoring the slightly gaping mouth and drool escaping from it. He'd take this, her sleeping next to him, beautiful or not any day. 

It was too noisy to sleep on the plane. Half full with personal, the other half with rattling equipment. They again sat next to one another. Charles started on his intended campaign. He now had a plan. He didn't want this to be another good bye. 

"I can give you a lift back to barracks if you like." He tentatively

offered. "Unless there's someone waiting for you?" It was the first time he'd ever touched on her relationship status. Not until this stage feeling it necessary for him to know. Not until this stage did he ever really feel he was going to act on his deepening feelings for her. 

"No. Mum and Dad are at work. Thanks for the offer but I was hoping that maybe a friend was gonna to meet me." She replied. 

"A friend? Who Smurf?" He asked, a sinking feeling starting in his stomach. 

"Nah. Well sort of a friend. Kind of like a boyfriend...well maybe." She blushed as she spoke. "It's very casual. Very new, only seen him a few times before I came out really. It's nothing serious." She wondered why she was so desperately playing down her new relationship to Charles. 

"He's hardly been in touch when I've been away. Travels a lot too with the job, he says. I text him to let him know I was coming home, but he ain't replied." She watched as Charles had obviously lost interest and turned away from her slightly. "The thing is Charles I'm not too sure if he not just a bit of a shit!" 

Charles turned to her, seeing the confused look to her face. "What do you mean? Do you like him?" 

"Yeah... I guess. Not half as much as he fancies himself though. It just he's fun, but I ain't too sure of him. I just get the impression he's just a little bit...well a bit of a tart really." 

Charles smiled at her apologetically but it hurt him a bit too much to continue their conversation. He feigned sleep for the rest of the flight. To cut his emotions off was the only way he knew. He'd got to the stage of admitting to himself he really cared for Molly, was about to muster up the courage to suggest a meet up, and then wham, she told him she was involved with someone else, and it hurt. He'd not expected that, yet looking back he could see nothing but pure friendliness in how she'd been with him at all times. How had he got it so wrong he thought. 

The walk from the plane to the arrivals lounge seemed too long and too complicated. All the time Molly was by Charles' side, chatting away, not realising how he was dreading facing his nemesis. 

It turned out to be though so much worse than he'd thought.

Something caught Molly's eye and she stalled, muttering under her breath. 

"Bleeding hell. He only bloody came." 

She increased her pace and left Charles behind. He stalled too. He watched as she walked hesitantly over to the other man. He carried flowers and as they shyly pecked each other on the cheek Charles could see that both of them although were hesitant, were happy to see each other. 

There was no other way to go. Charles had to pass them, had to make his presence known. Molly would have wondered what was up if he didn't. 

As he approached the head of the good looking man lifted up, he was like most people taller than Molly so had had to stoop to kiss her. His eyes locked onto Charles almost instantly. Molly turned then too. 

She started to introduce the two men who stood staring, then her eyes widened when she saw her beau stride over to Charles and hug him.

Charles returned the hug. 

"Charlie. Mate. How the hell have you been?" He laughed slapping him friendly on the back. 

"Good. Good." Charles answered, the words almost sticking in his mouth. 

He was unsure how he got through the next few minutes.

Unsure how he had remained normal, had been friendly, appropriate. When all he wanted to do was scream how unfair it was. That Molly should be his.

Yet she wasn't.

Here she was with her new man, and the best mate Charles had ever had.

Here stood, with is arms around the girl he had feelings for, was Elvis!

His best mate Elvis. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 3**

He was more determined than before on his return. He had to forget.

He'd survived the two weeks at home...just. It wasn't what he had at all planned, two whole weeks at his parent's house. Spending his precious leave with parents he loved, but hadn't expected to be spending so much time with. He was a man in his late 20s for God's sake. Yes they had factored in some part of his leave, a catch up or two, but really he'd hoped he'd be spending most of it with Molly, having fun. He was ashamed to admit briefly and foolishly, with the luxury of hind sight, that his imagination had ran away from him, and his leave had factored in a lot of time with Molly.

Yet that wasn't to be Elvis had stolen his dreams. Crushed his tentative plans.

Charles knew he was a fool.

He'd eventually and politely said good bye to them in the car park at Brize. All false smiles and best wishes. Molly equally as friendly, if not just a bit more reserved than she usually was. He hated how he had to watch her being led away, holding onto Elvis' hand. They were still shy around one another he could see that, she was embarrassed by his presence and the flowers, he could see that too, but also saw that she willing accepted them both. It was a sobering scene for Charles to witness. He'd never actually seen this side of Elvis. It was not his mate's usual style and so Charles mused and with a final shake of his head, resigned himself to being the definite looser in all of this. Whether he liked it or not. He'd always lose out to Elvis.

Elvis. What could he say about Elvis? Elvis, his best mate from their first days in kinder garden, a friendship that remind steadfast all the way though the university days and onto Sandhurst. The families were close; their lives therefore were bonded with each other's, and the loyalty to one another unwavering.

Meeting up though as their careers progressed became more sporadic and hence so much more important when they did. It was a solid friendship. Until they met in Brize that day it had been many months since they had last shared a beer or two together. The odd texts occasionally, was how they kept in touch over the years, both never known for their letter writing skills. Yet it was enough.

It had to be said though, this time, to Elvis' credit as he obviously knew Charles was on R and R he did suggest they meet try to meet up, but Charles just couldn't. He couldn't sit their opposite his friend and listen to him talk about his news, his job and also definitely about his new woman.

And so instead Charles spent the next two weeks annoying his family, and regretting every moment, every opportunity he had been given, yet failed to take, where Molly was concerned.

Where his mother, her patience tested, was thrilled to see him go back after the two weeks, his bad mood and general sullenness more than she could take, his section were less than pleased. His bad mood only intensified on his returned. Partly down to the heat, it seemed to somehow have gotten hotter in Charles' opinion, and partly down to the beautiful written note from Molly he found in his letter pigeon hole on his return. A reminder that he almost had it all, but let it slip away, and for the first time in a long time he really really wished he hadn't.

So he took his frustrations and general self-pitying disgust out on his section. Worked them harder than before, took no nonsense, no hilarity from them. Focused purely on the tasks in hand, stayed alert, his mind completely on the mission. He became less friendly towards them all, cutting himself off as approachable, meaning that as Charles was suffering they too were also suffering, but had no understanding why.

There were two events however that made him even grumpier than he'd intended to be. Both events two section didn't appreciate, or know about, they only suffered the fall out from them.

The first happened almost a week after he'd arrived back at the main camp. A parcel arrived addressed to him and the rest of two section. He knew the writing and his heart have a sickening thud, knowing that all attempts to put her out of his mind were being thwarted by her ongoing friendship with him and his section. Opening up the parcel in front of his men they discovered she'd sent them all a giant kid's paddling pool. A perfect, typical Molly gift really, it made everyone happy. Perfect for the conditions they were still sweating in. A huge cheer went up and ultimately squabbles ensued as to who would inflate it, fill it and have the first go.

The section soon disappeared off leaving Charles to read her letter on his own. Her words not really of that much interest to them, now they had the present, but to Charles it was all he wanted to know. It was full of the usual hellos and bits of gossip. He could almost hear her speaking the words as he read them. He started to smile, tracing his thumb over the words, like some love sick fool. Trying to feel a connection. It was the final paragraph though that caused his mood to change, she wrote that she was thinking about them as they were sweating away in the sandy desert, while she was having a mini break in Devon, with a friend, and would be toasting their discomfort with several glasses of very chilled wine.

It hurt. Not the sipping chilled wine part. It was the fact he knew where she was going and ultimately who with. Elvis.

Elvis' family had a holiday home in Devon, and it was one of the frequent places Elvis used to lure his woman to for a weekend of, as he once very crudely described it as 'Operation Leg Over'. Charles disliked intensely that side of Elvis, and the way he appeared to use women. He disliked it even more that he was apparently using the same practiced routine on Molly. All traces of a good mood that may have been bubbling to the surface were soon lost.

The second event that again caused two section to feel Charles' upset was purely down to Lane. She had noticed her Captain's sour mood and having just attended a lecture on PTSD and how to spot it tried very inappropriately and unsuccessfully to apply her new skills on Charles.

Instead of helping him she infuriated him and in the process reinforced his opinion of her that maybe she was more trouble than she really was worth. He made his feelings on her assessment of him well and truly clear, and from that day to the end of their tour she tried to keep her nose clean and as much out of his way as possible.

Thankfully though for all, the tour was coming to a close. It had been a long five months since Molly left, five very long months for all involved in two section. Their departure date and period of leave away from him couldn't come quick enough.

Molly looked at herself in the mirror, pleased with how she looked. Happy for once she's made an all out effort. She liked that fact her social life had picked up, that now a days the early Friday nights were a thing of the past. That she had something other than the Army in her life. She'd re discovered friends, and was no longer lonely. She had she hoped found a balance between work and play.

It had been over six months now since she'd got back from tour and in that time she had continued to see Elvis. Over a year since Smurf had met Rebecca, a year since she met Charles for the first time and that night where she realised she needed something more to her life. And then she met Elvis, and somehow he had become that something more, not her everything, but her something. And that was enough.

For those who thought it wouldn't last. For those who thought she'd find better they were wrong. She was happy with him. He made her feel special; he was kind and very loving. He gave her his best whenever they were together. It had been a fun six months.

Molly was fond of him, very fond of him, but that was all. She wasn't any fool. In those six months she had seen only a little of Elvis. His job in SF keeping him forever jumping from here to there at the shortest of notice. So their time together had only been short bursts and very time limited.

When she returned, she'd was the first to admit, she'd been shocked

at how attentive he was. Never expecting it to continue, but pleased it had. He'd even take her away for a long weekend. He treated her like a princess, and to Molly it felt so nice after all those years of picking the wrong men. Finally she'd fallen in with someone who was kind, good undemanding company...plus she wasn't complaining about finally breaking her dry spell and having sex again.

Sex with Elvis however was just that...sex. It wouldn't win any awards, despite what poor Elvis thought, but it was definitely on the very very nice side of things.

So over the past six months the meet ups they'd had were infrequent, but that suited Molly just fine. She could see though how someone could quite easily fall totally for this brilliant man. So good looking, great company to be in and lots of fun. He was the perfect package rolled into one. The type of man a girl could only dream of.

It all could have been so easy. They could have made a perfect couple. Apart from one thing, Molly knew Elvis was in love with someone else. She wasn't sure who, he'd never said, or admitted it, but whoever it was must have been someone very special because Elvis obviously had given his heart to them totally.

It was an unrequited love though, why else was he here with else with Molly. She didn't mind though, this was all just a bit of living for the moment as far as Molly was concerned. Something she hadn't done for a long time. This was about getting her basic needs fulfilled by a charming bloke. She had no complaints. It felt good, she felt young again.

She guessed this causal relationship was just as acceptable to Elvis too. For now they were happy with the occasional meet ups, a bit of interesting sex and nothing more. She guessed they both understood each other, and where they stood. Elvis could never commit because his heart wasn't his own. Molly would never commit because Elvis wasn't her one. Still for now they worked as some type of partnership, and that was why she was standing here in her best dress waiting for this dashing handsome fella to collect her for the regiment's summer BBQ.

He turned up prompt and dashing in casual clothes. Looking like an Italian Vogue model and smelling wonderful like the perfume counter at Harvey Nics. She loved that. The effort he made. She beamed at him as he profusely complimented her. She loved that too. He appreciated everything about her, and knew how to treat a lady, his lady for now, and he'd always try to treat her the best he could.

They really were a beautiful couple to behold, everyone said, and she knew that as they entered the court yard the stares they were getting were just not solely for him. Jealous looks from both sides of the sexes, but Molly knew her role in the display would always only be temporary. So she enjoyed it while she could.

The usual suspects were at the BBQ, and different groups gathered. Molly and Elvis soon separated. Molly confident to do so, her new found confidence and friends making the day fun.

Through coincidence or successful social manovering on another's part Molly actually found herself chatting to Georgie Lane. She was very surprised that she was here until she heard the screaming and cheering as the rest of two section found her and started to move towards her.

It was like old times; they joked, teased and messed about. Their friendship she'd missed. All of them Georgie, included looked well and tanned, in fact the tan only added to Georgie's beauty and the uniqueness and unevenness of two section in the summer crowd.

To Molly's surprise outside of a work environment she actually got on well with Georgie, and found her highly entertaining. Especially as Molly stood back and watched when she started to notice her flirting and doing her very best to get Elvis' attention. Elvis being Elvis though rose to the challenge. Always grateful for female attention and in Molly's eyes gave just as good as he got. Offering her an apologetic look across the crowds. It didn't worry Molly and that's when she really knew whatever she had with Elvis, whether she liked it or not, it was always going to be temporary, and that was just fine with her.

She wasn't going to be made a fool of but would go along for the ride for now, no hearts would be broken on the way. Elvis was incapable of giving her something that she hadn't realised she wanted, but very definitely knew she didn't want it with him. The one for her was still out there.

He watched his friend from the other side of the marquee, flirting with Lane. Flirting like he'd seen him flirt so many times before. Hoping that the fact he was doing it so openly his relationship with Molly must have ended. That she was free. Free from being hurt by his friend like so many others had been. More than anything that's what he hoped for, that she wasn't around to see it.

He stayed away from his section, relationships with them all not as good as they had been. In truth he felt a bit ashamed at how he'd behaved. He'd failed to separate church from state, military needs from his emotions. So today, as required he'd stay for a drink or two, get his face noticed, and then get the hell out of there as soon as he could to allow the section to have fun without him.

"You not gonna say hello?" She asked startling him out of his day dreams. He'd moved himself to the steps of the court yard, alone contemplating the right time to leave. She therefore sat herself down next to him, friendly shoulder bumping him as she did.

"Molly." He grinned, stopping himself from hugging her. Something he so desperately wanted to do. "What you doing here? He knew the answer though. She was obviously here with Elvis, and again he hoped she hadn't seen him with Lane. "With Elvis?" He has to ask. He briefly looked at her, no tears, no upset. He felt calmer.

"Yeah... with your mate." She playfully jabbed a finger into his forearm. "Kept that one quiet didn't you? You and him? He's told me a lot of stories." She giggled. Knowing she'd just told a white lie. Then she dropped her voice with utter sincerity. "It's good to see you Charles."

"You too Molly." He smiled at her and fixed her with a gaze that was almost painful. He tried to keep his smile on his face, he tried to keep the happiness alive in his eyes, the happiness he felt in seeing her again, but as he stared into her beautiful green eyes he feared his attempts were slipping.

"So? How was it after I left?" She asked. She'd heard about it all from two section, and was worried. Then seeing him dip his head, shaking it she added. "That bad? The lads said it was. Apparently Captain Stern Bastard made his presence known." And she gently laughed.

The atmosphere changed between them. His heart ached and he honestly felt she'd know that. He didn't know what happened. He didn't know what processed him. This was his best mate's girl, yet he said it anyway.

"I missed you." That was all but the longing look on his face, the way he held softly on to her hand as he said it, and it was enough.

She blinked startled by his words, by his touch. Though she did not pull away. Unsure that she was reading him right. It felt more than just words were being expressed. It felt so intimate. So intense. Yet he was Elvis' best mate, and although she doubted it she couldn't shake the feeling that he was maybe just maybe crossing a line. It felt wrong.

His face lit up as she answered almost automatically. "Yeah I missed you... and all of two section. We'd become good mates the lot of us hadn't we." The disappointment that came to his face unable to be missed as she went on. Almost as a warning. "It matters friendship and that... doesn't it?"

She was right. He felt a traitor. Whatever Elvis was to her, to Charles he would always be his best mate. An unbreakable bond.

He quickly stood.

Appreciating the kind let down. Saving face, stopping himself from becoming something he wasn't. Loyalty, faithfulness were some of the qualities in him he most prized. His ability to remain steadfast no matter what, yet here he was becoming perilously close to his mates girl. Making his excuses he quickly left.

She understood. She didn't stop him. Try to get him to explain. Talk more to her. She needed distance from him too and was grateful.

Something had happened between them though she truly didn't understand what. He'd seemed so sad, so angry when he'd left. It hurt. His touch to her, rightly  
or wrongly, had as always felt so right. 

Eventually Molly found her way back to the party, and left too, on Elvis' arm, just as she arrived. Although she was fairly certain that Georgie had triumphed in her absence and had managed to pass on her phone number to Elvis. She knew he'd probably not call her, not while they were what they were, doing what they were doing, but still it made Molly's mind up.

Something had changed.

Molly no longer felt her and Elvis were who there were to each other as they had been earlier in in the day.

Molly had changed and he had done that to her. 

The look in his eyes. The battle of emotions she saw on his face. The way his hand held hers in the softest most loving touch a girl could ever hope for. 

Charles and Molly's friendship was changing. And she knew this fun; this little diversion she had that was going on was going to end.

It had to change before someone got hurt. 


	4. Chapter 4

Steadfast

Chapter 4

She signed out of bloody sheer frustration. She couldn't believe just how difficult it all was. All she wanted to do was open a box of coco pops, but in her injured state it was such hard work. 

She screamed out in frustration. Childish she knew, but it felt good. No one could hear her though, not anymore. Cursing that she'd moved into the small bedsit, all by herself, instead of into one of the flat shares on offer, but on leaving the barracks she'd wanted some independence, and more importantly some privacy. So when this small living space came free two months ago up she jumped at the chance to take it. She how had the privacy she'd craved for, just when she needed company. However despite all that she loved it. It wasn't perfect but it was all hers. 

It had all been going so well, as planned, great in fact, until ten days ago when she had her accident. Slipping, spectacularly, in a wet muddy field, while on a training exercise, causing her to become infamous in Military history again.

She'd been running, trying to show off in front of her team, wanting to get to the casualty first and it had in fact only left her with a badly broken leg, right broken forearm, a sprained left wrist, and made her the gossip of the camp. 

Injuries...yes, absolutely glory... no. Just breaks, cuts and lots of bruises, which is why her mobility was awful, unable to use the crutches properly, and her ability to be independent seriously in doubt. She'd tried in true Molly Dawes style but was failing. 

Smurf had been great, even Rebecca too. Her best mate and his bird were there for her, in a way no one else was. After her overnight say in hospital he'd even moved in for a few days to help. Grateful though at the same time hating it, having to accept his help with her washing and dressing. Molly to be honest was mortified despite Smurf's repeatedly saying he'd seen it all before. Something though he tactfully never uttered in Rebecca's hearing. 

Her family, true to their form, had not really made any effort to help, though it did not surprise Molly at all, but it hurt her. If it hadn't been for Smurf she wouldn't have coped, she was 100% certain of that. 

However great Smurf and Rebecca were, they couldn't be there all the time, and they certainly were unable to be there this weekend. 

Smurf had planned weeks ago a romantic mini break for Rebecca's birthday, he'd pulled out all the stops for her. Despite knowing she needed them Molly insisted they go. They made a show, offered to stay, said they would cancel, but Molly even knew in her self pitying state that wasn't right. Wouldn't hear of it, and so off they gaily went. 

Molly sighed trying again with the coco pops. They'd be away for four whole days; she could have starved to death by then at this rate. Four days of her coping on her own, and only hours into the trial she wasn't coping. Now she bloody missed them. 

Wearily she perched herself down on a stool. So far that morning all she had managed was to brush her teeth... just...her attempt to splash her face with water abandoned as it was too much like hard work for now. She intended to try later, that she promised herself, but everything was such an effort, and that's why late though the morning was here she was still in her pyjamas and was in desperate need of breakfast. Simple tasks so very hard to do with limited hand use and having to move around the flat by throwing herself from furniture to furniture for support, meant that timings went out the window. As did her motivation. It was only her need for food and pain relief that had forced her out of her bed. 

Typical when she needed him he wasn't there. Elvis wasn't around to help her either. He'd called, offered his sympathies and promised to attend to her that day, or maybe the next. Not committing himself to a definite, she held out hope though, but as yet he was a no show. The nursing role not one she imagined he'd be too happy at taking on. 

Her understanding side though was being tested. She was now starting to get pissed off with him. He'd offered to help, and she was desperate and therefore would be willing to accept it. 

She knew she couldn't complain. He was just a mate, not tied to her anymore romantically. No longer a couple just good friends. Friends, sadly for Elvis as he had mentioned it several times, without the benefits. He'd tried doggedly over the past couple of months to get her back into his bed, but she always said no, was never, not once tempted, knowing it was purely out of a habit he had rather than hormones. 

The 'let's just be friends' talk they'd had months ago turned out to be a lot easier than Molly had expected. For her at least, getting the impression that Elvis had few experiences of being the one that was dumped in his life. She certainly hadn't expected that he'd be upset, and was shocked to see that he was ever so slightly. Though, looking back Molly mused she was certain that was due to his pride being dented rather than anything to do with his feelings for her. 

Yet he agreed, they agreed, friends, that's all. His wandering eye had caused problems in the past for his ladies and he didn't want to hurt Molly that way. She was a special lady no matter what they were to each other. He knew he would give her no guarantees, not that she even asked for them, she wasn't like anyone he'd had before, she just wanted out. 

The front door went, opening and closing. She shifted from the kitchen stool, now uncomfortable, knowing at last, Elvis had arrived, better late than never. A brief wave of guilt washed over her when she considered how upset she'd been getting with his absence. He'd promised and he'd delivered. 

Still she teased him. 

"It's about time you got that bloody cute arse over her. I'm starving. Come feed me and I'll make it worth your while." She shouted to the visitor before she saw them. Smiling at the look he'd have in his face at her empty promise. 

When she did she see him she flushed with embarrassment. Her breath stalled, she blinked, and unsure of what, of whom she saw. 

It wasn't Elvis it was Charles. 

He apologetically poked his head around the door, hearing what she called out, knowing it wasn't him she'd been expecting. He held up her spare flat key she'd given to Smurf, by way of explanation to his company. 

"Shit sorry." He searched the room for anyone else. "Errrr. Right. Rebecca asked me to check on you and bring you this." He held up a bag with a shepherd's pie and snacks in. "She said you'd had an accident...and were alone. Since I was passing I said I'd drop it by." He smiled hopefully at her. 

It was partly true, he was keen to help, he was passing by, sort of, but more than anything he was desperate to see Molly again. 

As he always did when he hadn't seen her he'd simply missed her.

They hadn't been in each other's company since the regimental BBQ months ago, and so when he heard of her accident, as most of the Army had heard of it because of how it happened, he knew he so badly he needed to see her. 

The perfect opportunity came through a chance meeting with Rebecca. When Rebecca mentioned that her and Smurf had been looking after her, but were going away for the weekend he jumped at the chance to help. He therefore offered up his time for Molly and in return he was given the keys to her bedsit, and this was how it all came about. One lovingly homemade shepherd's pie, by his own fair hands, and with a small hope she'd share it with him, he let himself in. Unlike Molly he had a spring in his step as he first entered. 

He was startled to see her though even though it was her home, even though Smurf had explained her injuries. Despite it all though she sat there looking so beautiful. He took in the blush that still stained her face. She was embarrassed, he knew why. Here she was semi clad in her sleeping wear, greeting him unexpectedly. 

It was the most flesh he'd ever seen of Molly's, and it moved him. He took her all in however, every bit. Her hair was a tangled mess and so in need of a brush, maybe even a wash. There were bruises and cuts all over her non plastered naked toned leg, the trace of a black eye and cheek evident in the poor kitchen lighting. He saw, though beautiful, she still looked wrecked, her face drawn and haggard showing how she was feeling. 

Her emotions were mixed, she had hoped to see him again, but not like this. Wishing they could have met again when she wasn't quite so...broken. She felt acutely away of how little she had on, and how rough she looked. 

Since their talk, since she was no longer his best mate's girl Molly had thought of little else. Had thought of Charles. Secretly hoping he would hear on the grape vine the news she was single again. That maybe even Elvis might give him the information, the facts that would spur him on to come to see her. Yet he'd didn't, for whatever reason, and she began to think she had just got it wrong. He saw her as a friend that was all. Yet that wasn't all for Molly. Plain and simple she fancied him, and here he was and she was mortified. 

"Oh. Thanks. That's great... thanks." Felling nervous around him, she tried to stand knowing she'd be wobbly. "If you could just pop it over there." She asked wondering just how she'd manage to take it out of the oven on her own. The idea passing into her head that maybe if she asked nicely he'd might even stay and eat with her. 

Her good leg wasn't strong, and her broken one useless. She wobbled and Charles turning from the kitchen counter saw her and grabbed her. His hands grabbing onto her waist, uttering reassuring sounds. Letting her know he had her. The flesh on her camisole riding up in his attempt to hold her, his hands now running over her uncovered skin. She smelt of the sleep muskiness that one carries upon waking. He breathed her in. It was mixed with a fruity smell he always associated with Molly from their time on tour. A happy sunshine smell. Unconsciously his large splayed hands holding her moved slightly allowing his thumbs to minutely stroke her sides. 

It felt delicious. 

She couldn't stop staring at him and holding onto his arm for support, she smiled into his eyes. 

"Thanks." She uttered. 

Her words sadly though broke the spell. He came to his loyal senses. Although she was free, single, available Charles didn't know that. The state of play between her and Elvis hadn't been communicated to him by anyone. And so Charles still believed that he had been holding his best mate's girl too closely, too rightly, too perfectly in his arms. It felt so good but so wrong and he pulled away. Ever the gentleman. Ever the loyal friend. 

They just stared at each other. Molly shocked by his touch yet again, fractionally pushing her body into his as he held her, relishing the tiny movement of his thumbs on her. Awakening her briefly, but then instantly feeling him stiffen, fearing that the act of holding her must have been an unwelcome complication for him. 

She moved away unsteadily at first watching his head dip as he spun himself on his heels, moving away from her. Focusing again on his bag of goodies. Unpacking them for her. Distracting himself from the feelings that had flooded his heart. 

"So what can I do to help?" He asked, robotically all emotion sucked out of his words. "Anything?" 

She found it hard to ask but needed help, she was starving and by now she guessed Elvis would be a no show. 

"I'd love some breakfast." She merely said and nodded to the unopened cereal box as he turned to look at her. His face full of query. 

He soon had her settled on the couch, leg supported, TV remote close by, while he made her breakfast. He enjoyed this small act of kindness towards her. He set the tray with her coco pops, as well as her antibiotics and painkillers he'd guessed she'd need. He then set to, without asking, on making her a bacon butty. He thought she'd looked thin and drawn when he'd arrived. She needed taking care of; he knew that he couldn't walk away from her. She needed him. 

As she thanked him again and again for his kindness he blushed, uncomfortable with her praise, looking anywhere but at her while she gave it. She still remained in a thin cami top and short night shorts and so his eyes had to focus on anything other than her and her trim battered body. It was almost too much for him, drawing on all his reserves. 

His inability to look at her gave him time to assess the situation around him. As he scanned around the room he could see signs of her struggling to cope. Empty glasses and cups, empty packets of biscuits and crisps, signs she'd been snacking rather than eating proper food. 

As Charles attempted to tidy up Molly kept the conversation light. She was grateful, but also sad how he seemed to be doing anything apart from look at her. He was friendly but that was all and it confused her. They seemed to have moments; they seemed to have connections, then nothing. He seemed at times to have wanted to be anywhere but there with her. 

Her phone beeped and as she read the text she let out a groan of frustration. 

"Problem?" He asked raising his eyes to her disappointed face. 

"Yeah. You could say that. Its Elvis. He was meant to come today to help me...get dressed and that." She explained embarrassed. "He's been sent off somewhere, again, for God knows how long." She threw down her phone. "Bloody typical." 

He stood immediately, on hearing Elvis name. Was ready to leave. Ready to make way, step aside for his mate. Then he stopped 

"I could help." He offered, bashfully, and then showed a very unsure smile to her as he did.

She looked at him, wanting nothing more than to accept his help. She needed his help, but the thought of him helping her wash, dress, him touching her was too much. It was intimate, something she would usually relish, had thought she'd want that from him, but he'd seemed cold, detached. She felt he was very much there out of some loyalty to duty, not because he wanted to be. This wasn't what she wanted. She was too proud. She stayed steadfast. 

"Nah. You're all right. I'll manage. Just takes time." 

He was relieved she could see that, what she couldn't see though was just how disappointed he was. He'd do anything for her, to help her. Anything for his best mate's girl, to make her happy. Even if that meant he wasn't. 

After several offers and several refusals Charles found his excuses still to be there, to be with her, were running out. He could see that she was wanting him to leave, sensing her discomfort around him, and so he left. 

The small bedsit was very empty without his presence. She felt lonely immediately. Though the lovely clean smell of him still lingered on her cheek where he dutifully had pecked her good bye. A peck that said it all to her, there was no softness, no need to it. It was just an expected way of saying yet again another good bye to her. This time she didn't lean in, she accepted the cold friendly kiss as it was given, her eyes down cast to hide her sadness at him leaving. She hoped he'd stay longer, have lunch with her, she'd hoped for his company and a lot more. But he left. 

He couldn't do it. He climbed into his car and started to drive away. Yet he knew he couldn't continue and so he turned around instantly, letting himself in once again to her home. Calling out this time well before to announce his presence. 

"Molly? Molly?" And then he heard something fall in the bathroom. Knowing he'd made the right decision. "You ok?" 

"Shitting hell." She cried from behind the closed door. "Charles?" You nearly gave me a Julius Caesar. What you doing back here?" 

He laughed as he saw her creak the door open. Her hair half pulled back and rivers of water running down her face. The bathroom floor flooded in her attempt to wash. Her crutch abandoned on the floor. 

"I've come back. I can't leave you. You're might gonna need me." Was all he said. 

She laughed happily as he walked into the bathroom and motioned for her to sit on the toilet. It looked so out of place. This stern Captain washing her face with a warm flannel, gentle, with such care. 

"That's all I can do." He said as he stood back and surveyed his work. Her face and hands washed, a clean t-shirt dropped over her head, while he closed his eyes, and fresh shorts pulled with the utmost delicacy and decency onto her. He'd even tried to tie her hair back, and after much laughing he'd sort of succeeded. 

"Thank you." She said ever so quietly and looked at him. The sprained wrist just allowed her fingers to touch his hand, just allowed them to stay there. Connecting then. 

She watched him swallow hard, saw the look of conflict cross his face, and then saw him turn away. It was too much for him, he broke her touch. 

"I can't do this." He said as he turned back and helped her back into the sitting room. "It's not right." 

"Charles." She started, needing to tell him. Needing to explain. Wanting to talk. 

"No. It's not right Molly. It's not going to happen." He moved off and started back towards the bathroom, shouting over his shoulder as he went. "I can't leave you. You're coming with me." 

She'd expected them to talk, expected them to work their changing friendship out. What she hadn't expected was for her to be, without much consent from her, to be bundled off to spend the weekend with Charles at his parent's house in Bath. 

She lay there in the guest room. Clean, fresher than she had been for days and blissfully happy. Charles' Mum had been amazing. A former nurse she took control straight away when Charles turned up on their doorstep with a broken stranger, bedraggled, who he introduced as his friend. There had been a sly look that pasted between his parents that Molly missed, but that was all. 

So his mum, Elizabeth, on Molly's arrival barked out orders to Charles and Edward as she organised things. 

Within the hour Molly had been showered, courtesy of the plastic cast protector Charles had be sent off to Boots to buy, her hair was a washed, dried and was now dressed in clean clothes. Eventually she got to lie in the bed, exhausted by the whole experience and her unexpected day so far. 

There was a gentle tap at the door, and she nervously told whoever was to enter. 

She saw Charles sheepishly poke his head around the door, bearing a tray of food. Molly's stomach growled. 

He grinned as he heard and placing the food down on the side, rushing over to her as she struggled to sit. Making her comfortable as possible was his mission with as many numerous pillows he could use. As she moved her hair fell against her face and he saw it annoyed her. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked the stray hairs away from her face, softly pacing them behind her ears. As gentle as any woman could want to be touched by the man her heart was starting to yearn for. Charles though realising the danger he was in he stood up. Moving away, taking back control. 

"Made you some dinner. Scramble eggs and smoked salmon. Thought it would be easy to eat." He explained as he laid a tray carrying her banquet for one on her lap. Painkillers and antibiotics thoughtfully there too. 

Molly was embarrassed Eating left handed wasn't too easy, but the soft food and thoughtful provision of a spoon helped. She thanked him then greedily attacked the best food she'd had in days. 

"Thanks." She managed between mouthfuls. Laughter dancing in her eyes as he watched her. 

"Bloody hell. Hungry Dawes?" He teased. "You're not in the mess now. No one's going to pinch it." 

She stopped and finished her mouthful. "Sorry. Just bloody hungry." Then added. "Are you not eating?" 

"Mine's downstairs." Then as she raised her eyes brows at him as he spoke, he suggested. "I could go down and bring it up if you like? Eat together? That is." He laughed. "If you haven't finished before I get back." 

And so that's what he did. They ate their dinner together and once he'd cleared the plates away, he sat on the floor by her bedside and they talked. 

He told her of his childhood in the house. The big old house, bigger than Molly had ever imagined, despite Elvis' tales. He told her of stunts him and Elvis used to get up to, and scrapes they'd been in. He noticed she listened, but wasn't hungry for information about Elvis, guessing his friend had already told her these tales before. 

"You sound as though you had a happy childhood." She said watching him from across the room. She was still propped up in bed while he'd moved to the other side of the room, sitting on the floor, his long legs laid out in front of him. 

"Yeah I did. Longed for a brother or sister. But it wasn't to be. Have lots of cousins though." He laughed at the ridiculous amount he actually had. 

"Surprised you chose the Army then. Thought you'd be a home bird and all that." She questioned him further. 

"No. Loved the Army...still do. It's all I ever wanted really...to live life out of a Bergan...still is...well that was until..." He didn't finish. He wanted to say ...'until I met you'...but he didn't. It would have been wrong. He quickly changed the subject away from him. "What about you? Why the Army?"

"It's all I had. Could see my life as being a bit shit, so I thought why not? Best bloody thing I did." She wanted to add, especially since it meant she met him, but she didn't. He wouldn't have wanted to hear that. 

A comfortable silence hung over them, he could see though she was tired. 

"You know you can stay here for as long as you like? Mum would love it." He offered noting the hesitancy in her face. "I was planning on being here until Wednesday, then could come back at the weekend to see you... if that's not too weird." 

"Not wired at all." She smiled, touched at how at times he really seemed to care. "Just kind, really really kind. Thank you." 

"So is that a 'yes' then?" He stood up and moved to pick the food tray up. 

"It's a maybe." She said and shuffled down into the bed. "Are you going? You don't have to. You could stay a bit longer." She knew her voice sounded needy, but for now, for once she didn't really care. 

And so he stayed. They talked for a bit longer. He resumed his place opposite her on the floor. However it wasn't long after that he noticed she'd drifted off. Happily remembering that this was the second time he had been with her as she slept. The second time he had felt privileged to be in her company while she slumbered. 

This time though there was no disguising it, she did look beautiful. The dark circles abating from her eyes, the drawn pained look from earlier in the day gone. She looked sweet, half curled up in the sheets and pillows of his family home. Burrowing down as though she was making her home right there in the bedding. Her hair fanned out around her, framing her. It was a sight he knew he'd always remember. 

Standing to leave, to allow her to sleep more, on impulse he bent down. He neared her face, her gentle breath flutter on his skin as he got closer. It was like he was in slow motion, yet everything seemed to be going so fast. The speed of it all stopping him from having any control. His lips lightly pressed deliciously on to her cheek. A perfect loving gesture this time. His fingers traced the bruise there, gently, trying to wipe away her pain, and then he pulled himself reluctantly away. 

Leaving the room his lips continued to tingle at the touch where they'd had been on her skin. The feel of her so close to him was something he'd never be able to explain. His fingers almost burned where he'd stroked her face, where he had dared to feel her and enjoy her. 

Beautiful feelings that he battled to keep afloat before the taint of guilt, of remorse that he knew would come, would surface and spoil them. Feelings of regret that would ruin the beautiful moment he'd just had. 

Gently the door closed. She knew she was alone. Her hand went instantly to her cheek. He'd woken her with his soft kiss, the softest kiss she'd ever had but she didn't open her eyes. The kiss may have been gentle, soft, but to Molly it was hard hitting. 

She hadn't opened her eyes, too scared to break the spell as she had once before. 

Too happy to spoil the moment, of him being near to her as she once dreamed he could be. Too happy and now she couldn't fall back asleep. 

Her mind, her heart was racing. Too happy. To excited, too full of all the possibilities that their future could now hold. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 5**

How does the song go?

'What a difference a day makes? Twenty four little hours.'

Well however it went that was certainly what it was for Molly. The past twenty four hours had shown her something different.

It had shown her that Captain Charles James, from the British Army was so busted.

He did care; there was no doubt of that any more. 

That kiss, the sweet, gentle kiss he'd given her as he left her room was just the start of her discovery about his feelings for her.

It was closely followed up by his total care for her over the next few hours.

She'd quietly tried to get out of bed to use the loo in the middle of the night, but she didn't succeed. Her dependency on the crutches giving the game away. Within minutes of her turning on her light and struggling, he was there. Outside her bedroom door, offering his help, quietly and patiently. Quick to help as though he'd just been waiting, listening for her to need him. He was tender towards her, patient, wanting not to see her struggle; he helped her in every way. Then tucking her up, almost childlike, on their return back to her room, he stalled as he left, glancing at her. 

That one glance back over his shoulder said more to her than words could. It held the longing, the vulnerability one only sees in someone's face in the early hours of the morning when all guards are down. 

Charles cared.

She almost squealed with excitement once he'd left her alone. In fact she wasn't too sure that she hadn't, but she didn't care, all she cared about was the morning to come. The morning when she'd see him again. 

Despite all her planning, she slept late. Her last few hours filled with sweet dreams, and was just coming to a pretty tasty part of such one dream when she was roused from her sleep by knocking on her bedroom door. Flustered and quickly remembering where she was, pulling herself together and shouting out for them to come in. 

It was Charles. The man in her dreams. 

He couldn't help himself. He'd waited as long as he could that morning. Pointlessly filling up his time. The keenest to see her, conflicting with the knowledge he knew she needed her sleep, needed to rest. So he'd waited, for just about as long as he could. Her medication schedule a perfect excuse.

On opening her door, his patience seemed worth it. She looked thoroughly rested. The dark circles no longer marked her eyes, the drawn look of the past days disappearing, with only a slight flush to her face. The chaotic sight that greeted him was also testament to the good night's sleep she'd had. He smirked, and pulled his lip in with his teeth to stop a giggle escaping. She'd obviously slept very well since he'd last seen her. Her hair wildly ruffled, bed sheets scrunched and the pillows he had once loving tended to strewn on the bedroom floor.

"Christ Molly. You had a party in here?" He laughed out, watching her turn even redder, but he continued. "A bit of a whirl wind in bed are you Dawes?" 

Her eyes shot up at this and it was her turn to bite her lip to stop a laugh escaping, as it was now his turn to go so very red. He'd realised immediately what he'd said, the images of her writhing around in bed flashing through his mind.

"Anyway. Brought you breakfast. It's late, thought you'd need your tablets." He moved over to her with the tray, yet again loaded with goodies. 

She happily noticed that this time though it not only had her breakfast on, but his as well. Little signs, showing her he wanted to spend time with her, that he cared. He was going to join her, and this time she didn't have to ask, he just was. 

Again she felt self-conscious, pulling herself into a sitting position. Face creased from her sleep, night wear tangled around her body. Not sexy, just crumpled. She tried to tidy her wild hair, tame it down, but was limited by her injuries, her hands not being able to do what she wanted them to do.

He watched her, smiling at her attempts, seeing her become frustrated, and so he did the only thing a gentleman could do. He helped her. Crouching down next to her bed, slowly, as though to ask permission, he leaned over and helped her stroke her hair down. His fingers following the path hers had left, touching her softly, close. Molly's head automatically moving in tune with his administrations, falling slowly, almost as though she was being lulled by him, on to his chest as he did so. For all to see Charles was focusing on the job, to all intents and purpose, but secretly he once again was breathing that beautiful just woke up Molly smell. He took his time, enjoying her response to his help, at how relaxed she was. 

Eventually though pulling back, remembering, he stood. As he did she looked. Her eyes were wide and willing as she stared at him. He struggled for a second, almost ready to forget everything.

"Mum and Dad are out." He explained. "At Mass...won't be back till later." He talked as he set her tray up and they both tucked into the porridge he'd made. 

"You thought anymore about staying?" He rushed out. Focusing on his meal, rather than face her and show his disappointment when she told him the inevitable, that she was leaving. He didn't want her to go. 

"Yeah, I have...and yes please. If you're sure." She answered very quietly; she too focused on her food rather than show him how pleased she was she could stay. She'd never been cared for like this before and she was a bit afraid she might like it. "You're staying too though right?" 

He smiled at her over the rim of his coffee cup, eyes only showing the trace of the beam of a smile the cup hid. 

"Yeah. Until Wednesday night anyway." He saw her eyes widened. "But I'll be back early Friday night. Maybe stay the weekend, then take you back?" He suggested, guessing that at some stage she'd want to go back and see Elvis. This little bubble he was in would eventually need to be broken.

"Yes. Sounds good. As long as your Mum don't mind." She surprised him, saying yes, agreeing to his plans and said no more. Both focusing on eating again, contemplating time together. A happy silence fell. 

She watched him, knowing when he could, when he didn't think she was watching, he was watching her. Their eyes frequently meeting, then snapping apart. It was a game of silent flirtation, one she was thrilled to be part of. One she enjoyed, but so needed the stalemate to be broken.

"Charles do you have feelings for me?" She suddenly asked. Unsure where the question had come from. Needing some answers.

The last mouthful of coffee he'd taken almost spat out by him. So shocked was he. She looked at him, head half cocked, eyes full of questions. 

It wasn't a simply a 'yes' or 'no' answer. He couldn't answer how he'd wanted to. If she'd been free he would have moved to her side, taken her outstretched hand she automatically offered with her question, and told her 'yes...absolutely yes'. But he didn't, he hid away again.

"What you trying to say Dawes?" He joked.

Hurt, confused but brave she carried on.

"Well I never thought that... well someone like you...so do you?"

Trying to sound light hearted he replied.

"You're tolerable Dawes." Realising how the words as soon as he'd said them were ridiculous and would hurt her, and he saw that they did. 

She pressed bravely on. 

"Cause I'm fond of you." 

He stood to move, to leave. Too many pitfalls if he stayed. He turned and giving her a sad smile left. Simply saying.

"Maybe we shouldn't discuss it, it's not right."

He left and Molly felt foolish, abandoned. As though she had ruined everything. And then she felt furious, with him and herself. She'd taken a chance and wrongly gamble on how it would end.

There was no way she could stay now. Too embarrassing. Too painful. Searching for her phone she started to text Smurf, her rescuer and hopefully, soon, her lift back home. 

With no one to help her down the stairs she was trapped in her room. Again she must have drifted off, through boredom waiting for Smurf's reply. Frustrated by it all, her dependence on others and her stupid misinterpretation of Charles' actions. Taking his kindness towards her for deeper feelings.

She was awoken by the front door slamming and fast foot steps up the stairs to the shower room. She guessed it was Charles returning from a run. He didn't pop his head round to say 'hello', didn't acknowledge her in any way.

He'd avoided her since her question. That was bleeding obvious. Even his parents who had returned home had popped up to see her in that time. Again Elizabeth helping her shower and dress, commenting on the quiet mood Molly was now in. Their conversion limited and polite, unlike the previous day when Molly had told her all.

"She's a lovely girl Charles." Elizabeth said with just the hint of encouragement, later on. 

"Yeah she is." He stared out of the kitchen window. Conflicted. Now showered, clean from his run. A run that had taken him further and longer than he had wanted to go. A run that was causing his legs to feel almost jelly like because of the pace and distance he'd ran. A run that was meant to clear his head, but didn't. It was still filled with Molly. 

"Elvis is a lucky guy." He sighed quietly. 

"Elvis?" Elizabeth shot back. "I don't think so. That was over months ago. Molly told me." Shaking her head, suppressing the knowing look that was about to spread over her face. It was hard for her not to interfere. 

To Elizabeth and Edward it was clear as the nose on their rather foolish and slightly shy son's face. Charles did have feelings for Molly. 

"You like her don't you?" Elizabeth pushed. Waiting for her head to be snapped off. She never had interrogated his love life in this way before, unsure how he'd take it. 

"She's not seeing Elvis?" Was all he questioned. "Not at all."

"No. Apparently she ended it. Bit of a shock to our Elvis I believe."

It was pointless he was moving away from her, but she continued, raising her voice so her words would still be heard. "Apparently she has feeling for someone else!"

He heard, and grinning Charles moved to the stairs taking them two by two, despite his tired legs. 

Enthusiastically he knocked on the door. 

"It's Charles" he explained. 

It was a very less than enthusiastic reply from Molly. She was sulking, he knew that instantly. He chuckled to himself as he walked in. 

"You ok?" He asked sitting sideways, facing on her bed so close to her that she shuffled over a bit in the bed to give her self some space. It was like a game, he shuffled closer, not wanting or now needing the space she was giving him. 

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" She snapped back, then caught how she sounded, and said more kindly. "I'm ok." 

"You seem, I don't know, a tad pissed off." He was playing this out. He knew why, and it pleased him that she felt enough to be upset by his avoidance. 

"No. I'm fine me. I'm ok. Well I guess now what's the word... tolerable I'd say." 

He threw his head back as the laughter rolled out of him. Leaning to hold her hand, watching her surprised face. 

"Oh Christ Molly. You're more than that." He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Aware that her free wrist was still tender from the sprain. 

"More than what?" She get confused, but a stirring of hope started to begin. Yeah he was laughing, but not at her... because of her. 

Dropping her hand, he needed more. He leaned over and took her cheek in the palm of his hand, he notice despite her best efforts she leaned into it. Her eyes full of questions, and a degree of fear. 

"What's going on?" She asked. 

"I just wanted you to know. That I am. I do. A lot." And then he pulled away. Dropped his hand to his side as a small part of him still feared her rejection. 

"You do what? Charles what you bleeding on about." She missed his hand on her face, she felt as though he was holding her up somehow. Now that support, help, was gone. 

"I'm fond of you." Was all he said. He drew his eyes up to finally look at her, watching her face move from confusion to realisation. A small permission giving smile creeped over her face. 

He then slowly moved. Closer to her, his head dropping, eyes focused on her mouth, her lips. 

She pulled back. It surprised him, halted his progress.

"Really?" She asked him one last time needing to be sure she'd understood him. "You like me? As in fancy me? You sure?" 

He moved again. The playful bite of her lower lip as he gently tugged it with his teeth, the smell of his minty breath and the beautiful smile on his face all gave Molly her answer. 

"Can I kiss you... please?" He asked, just the once, waiting for her permission, and then as she nodded his hands cupped her head gently, drawing her towards him. 

"Please." Was her reply as she moved into him, as he did her. 

It wasn't a long kiss. They weren't joined together in a lingering passionate embrace. It was short, full of promise and just about as perfect as Molly had dreamed of.

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed side, their positions not ideal, his body too aware of her and it's need for her. 

"You ok?" He yet again asked, but this time, unlike before, he was asking a totally different question. He knew her answer and as they gazed at each other, content, he smiled a most satisfied of smiles, which totally matched hers. 

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She answered, again as before, again this time with a totally different meaning. The bubble of happiness inside of her difficult not to let out as she spoke. 

He'd moved next to her sitting up in the bed, by her side. She turned and resting her head on his chest, without invitation, but it felt right. Both totally comfortable, at ease, happy their friendship had changed again, into a direction the both wanted. 

"I knew it." She said into his chest. 

"Knew what?" It didn't matter, whatever it was he didn't care. He finally had Molly in his arms. He finally had found someone who fitted into him perfectly. 

"That kissing you would be perfect. I'd wanted to kiss you from the first time I met you you know?" 

"Wish you fucking had." He laughed, stroking patterns down her bare arm. Then knowing he now could, there was nothing stopping him, he dipped his head down to kiss her willingly lips once again. To seal the deal, once more.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! I've wanted to for so long, but my tour, then Elvis. Well he's my best mate."

"And that's not you." She finished off for him. Then seeing the look of confusion in his face she carried on. "You wouldn't do that to a mate, or anyone. Hit on someone else's girl. Would you?"

"No" he answered truthfully. "Though with you Molly it was a bloody close run thing!"

"So?" She questioned him, knowing something had changed his mind, wondering what.

"Mum!" Was all he said. It was enough though. "Sometimes Dawes I don't know how I kept my hands off you."

She liked that, she'd felt the same.

"Ditto." Was all she said.

Elizabeth and Edward wisely said nothing. They made no comment when Charles helped Molly down the stairs for the evening meal, and held onto her just that little bit longer than necessary while making her comfortable. They said nothing as he dance in devoted attendance to her, or when she sat down on the sofa he sat immediately next to her, close, their bodies touching, just. Their smiles never leaving their faces. They said nothing, just smiled. 

Again they kept their opinions to themselves when Molly, full of thanks mentioned that she was now planning on going back with Charles when Wednesday came. To her flat, saying that this time she'd be able to cope, with a little help from Charles. 

It was never spoken but they both knew, they wanted some privacy some time to be them. Something Charles found understandably hard to do under his parent's roof.

In an ideal world he would have wanted to take Molly back home than night, but he knew she needed to get stronger, a few more day of help to increase her confidence and independence. 

And so they spent the next few days at his parent's house just being happy, just being with each other, talking, touching, and lots of kissing. It was good old fashioned courting Molly joked, liking the way it made him smile as she did. This start to a relationship was something Molly had never had, and she loved it.

Their time together was slow, measured, not rushed, not fuelled by lust alone, but careful, as though they were at the start of a very long and exciting journey. Both mindful of limitations, both aware of the uniqueness of it all.

Charles for the first time ever wanted it all to be perfect, wanting to put effort in, even managing to organise something that resembled a date. Driving her out to a local park, where they had a mini picnic sitting close together on one of the benches.

It felt so good to Molly feeling the sun on her face again, but it felt even better to be sat back while doing so nestled in Charles' arms. Although those first few days were modest, and respectful, they both also found it very frustrating, both silently acknowledging that it was something they were going to have to get used to for a while with Molly being broken. 

"That's a big sigh Molly." He said. Concerned.

She turned her head up to look at him, but it was a happy face he saw.

"I've never had this before." She shrugged her shoulders.

"What ham and cheese sandwiches, with cloudy lemonade?" He teased.

"No you muppet. This." She moved her hand backwards and forwards between them. "This. I don't know... feeling content... safe." She explained. "It's nice."

"Yeah. It is isn't it." And he squeezed her a bit tighter. "Neither have I."

She turned herself towards him as best she could without losing his hold on her. "What never?"

"No. Never. Just well... always been... well Army." He simply shrugged.

"I think I know what you mean." She sighed again. "We're gonna have to tell Elvis aren't we?"

"Course we are. We've nothing to hide. Nothing to be ashamed of. Bit awkward I guess, but he'll be ok? Then I never want to go there again." He laughed as he said this, but in all honesty neither did she. Pleased Charles was telling her it would be so simple.

"Just want to say one thing though." Molly pushed it for the last time. "It wasn't anything you know. I was lonely. After meeting you, I just knew I wanted something...sorry."

"No. That's it. No more. It's past." And then he moved her so she completely faced him. "No more apologies. No more waiting out. Just us. Yeah?"

"Yeah." She replied and then he kissed her.

Charles helped her into the flat. The gentleman in him opening the door, standing to her side as she manoeuvred herself in. Each day had seen her grow stronger, able to do small but important tasks herself. She felt confident in her return home. Desperate to prove herself having learnt to use the crutches now to her advantage, and much more mobile on her legs. Yet Charles still worried, she knew that. 

"Please Charles I'll be fine." She reassured him for the hundredth time. Holding onto his arm tightly, he'd soon be leaving, and she wanted to be close to him while she still could. Though she was looking forward to trying to take some control back over her life, having some independence again. "I'll miss you but I'll be fine." She appeased him, fearing he'd feel she didn't want him. 

"I could come over? If you want? Tomorrow night after work? It will be late, but that's fine." He hopefully offered. After the past few days the thought of not seeing her for a while was concerning. 

"No. Now go, before I bloody change my mind." She raised her voice mockingly. "I'll see you Friday. Like we said." 

She stood, tiny in front of him, but fierce in her need for independence. He saw that, but struggled with it. He dipped his head and pulled her in for a final deep goodbye kiss. Sharing his increasing want for her.

Their lack of intimacy becoming harder with each moment. Each kiss they had becoming longer, more passionate, more laced with their desires.

He grinned slightly into their kiss as her body pressed closer into his, responding to him. Her leg cast awkward, but she angled herself so she was fully moulded in to his hardening body. The small, controlled groans that they both unconsciously let escape testament to the effects they had on each other. 

It took more effort, more self control than he ever had had, but gently he ended the kiss and pulled her away from him. 

"I'll see you Friday." She said again, just to confirm. Her face sad, wondering just how her heart was going to cope until then. 

"Friday." He answered back, dropping his forehead onto hers, he took her in for one final time, then turned and walked away.

"Oh and Charles." She shouted at him, seconds from him leaving her side. 

He stopped and turned, waiting to hear what she had to say. Head cocked towards her to hear her better. 

"I can't wait...and maybe if you might happen to bring a Chinese take away with you too...I'll adore you forever!


	6. Chapter 6

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 6**

It had been many weeks since that Friday night when he turned up with Chinese in one hand, as requested, and in the other shyly, but much to her delight, an overnight bag. Of course he was going to stay, both of them knew and so wanted that, it may never had been said aloud, but it was going to happen.

And so in the weeks since their first perfect night together, where they'd shared a beautiful moment, a coming together as one, they had been inseparable since. At first her cast limiting but certainly not stopping them, both with active imaginations and burning desire, the constraint of it worked skilfully around. 

Since then, since that night, Molly had been so happy. Really happy, and she knew had he too in the main. Weeks and weeks of happiness, and now as she paced around her bedsit, she worried that it was all about to come to a horrible end.

It was here. The day they had both been dreading, arriving too soon if it meant the end.

Elvis was back.

Back from his mission, and so Charles mindful of his duty arranged to meet him. Insisting to Molly that he went alone, which despite her offers, suited her just fine. It wasn't somewhere she'd wanted to be. 

But now she regretted it. She shouldn't have let him go alone. That wasn't fair, plus he'd been gone for hours. Promising to call her as soon as he could, to let her know, but the radio silence from him scared her as it so wasn't like him.

She knew he'd been worried, could tell, yet he never admitted it to her, constantly reassuring her that he wasn't. Telling her again and again that it would be fine. Even the night before as he stroked her back, lying naked in each other's arms, again repeating to her that they hadn't done anything wrong. Charles was confident that Elvis would see that. Saying they had waited out, and despite them both knowing this to be true still they both still worried. Molly voiced her worries out loud, Charles did so in secret.

And so confidently he'd gone striding off. Leaving her behind, waiting. Hoping that nothing would change between them now Elvis was back. Liking things just the way they were.

There had been some small changes in the months since her and

Charles became a couple.

She was now back at work. On light duties only, and entirely her own choice to return back early. Her cast to her arm gone, she was now free and totally independent. It felt good. The bulky cast to her leg gone too, leaving her leg thin and pasty looking, knowing she had months of physio ahead of her to build it back up, and she was keen to get started. Now all she wore was a boot type concoction that supported her with every twist and turn. Small, lighter, but still as annoying to her despite Charles telling her it looked cute. However she loved the fact though that she now at least could move around almost without any signs of ever being so broken.

Returning back at work also meant the boredom issue she'd suffered badly from was resolved. Her days of day time TV, constantly playing on her phone, and playing text tennis with Charles were over. Now she was back at work she was focused, no distractions, and as before wanting to impress. A promotion still very much in her sights. She started to apply herself all over again. Her need for Charles not quite as great as it had been. If he noticed he never said. 

It wasn't long after she returned back to work through that they had their first little tiff. There was no way Molly could call it an argument, she'd seen those in her life and this wasn't big enough to be described as that. Instead she saw it as a little disagreement, something that muddied their pool of happiness.

Wearing the support boot it still meant Molly was unable to drive, and so she depended on lifts to and from work. Charles assumed it would be him she relied on for these, she relied on him so much, but he was shocked and wrong. She asked anyone but him for help, friends, and other soldiers from her camp. Testing out her new found independence again. Trying to make it right by telling him he'd done enough, saying he didn't need to do everything for her anymore, but knowing no matter what she said that he still really did want to. She continued to upset him even more, bloody minded in her opinion, when she insisted that Charles even made himself scarce each morning when she was collected. She didn't want her lift to see him. She didn't want anyone to know about them, not wanting to be gossiped about. And so Charles, desperate to keep her happy he did just exactly what she asked and hid.

True he was frustrated by it all, but tried not to dwell. He was slowly staring to understand and accept her utter need for independence, to do it her way. Let down by her family repeatedly over the years, she confessed one night, breaking her heart telling him it meant she soon learnt to do things her way. He still tried though, gently to break into her hard independent shell.

And that was the subject of their first tiff, yet another refusal to join him at the local pub. Charles wanting to broadcast them from the roof tops. Molly just didn't. Worried about the gossip, and secretly worried that her chances of promotion may be influenced by the new friend she kept. Wanting everything she got to be from her own bloody hard work and not down to an old boy's network. And so for now they remained a secret.

However being suddenly left alone, having no one to call she was regretting her chosen course. She realised she didn't know any of his friends, or colleagues that he trusted; only those he commanded in two section. She shared no part of his life apart from the bit that had them in it. Rarely did she ever go to his house, never went to the social dos he had to attend, and she had never ashamedly even been to his camp. She had kept them so secret, she had effectively excluded herself from his life to a large extent, and that realisation no longer made her happy.

Molly's pacing stopped, now she chewed on her nails, a habit she'd grown out of, but somehow she found it comforting to rediscover as she worried. As clarity about how important Charles was to her dawned. She realised she'd been so bloody minded, so insular about them and because if that she had no one to turn to. No one to casually call to see if they knew how he was, or even where he was. She sat alone.

Thinking. She hadn't even taken birth control seriously within their relationship. Both fastidious in its need however, she still treated this thing with him as temporary. Still using condoms as though they were kids hooking up for one nighters. Any long term any permanent measures making her feel too settled, too cemented in the relationship. Something she'd never felt before and feared the feeling. He hated using them, she could tell that, most men did, but had watched him as he took on board her lies that she didn't want her body full of hormones. She saw that he didn't believe her, but gentleman like he didn't push it, respected her choice.

She watched him get out of his car, and then make his way across the street to the bed sit.

He looked tired. He felt tired. His meeting with Elvis, despite Charles' reassurance had been hard on him emotionally. He'd had worried that he'd lose a friend, all because he'd finally found someone he totally and unconditionally loved. 

"Shit, you ok?" She asked as soon as he entered. Noting his drawn face. 

He gave her a weak smirk and she launched herself into his arms as best she could. A hug always helped she thought.

They stood there holding each other for minutes. Both getting strength from each other. Both appreciating the here and now. 

"Yeah. I am now I'm here." He kissed into her hair. 

"Was it that bad?" She asked looking up at him. Both still holding on to each other. 

"No not really. Well I guess it could have gone better." Charles sighed and pulled away from her. Walking definitely away. "I think he really liked you Molly." 

"What? Elvis?" She cried chasing after him. "Me?" Those were not the words she'd wanted to hear. Worried about their meaning. 

Charles turned and smiled, pulling her to sit next to him on the couch. 

"No not like that. Well maybe a bit like that. I just meant he really liked you as a person. Likes you. Thinks you're special. Told me to look after you." 

"Shit. Thank bleeding God for that." She sighed. "So what made it so bad?" She asked. 

"Just Elvis. Just stuff." He shrugged. "You know?" 

"No. Haven't a clue mate. What you mean?" She continued to probe. 

"Well he kind of wanted to know the details and stuff. It was a bit hard." He answered embarrassed. 

"Elvis?" Then it dawned on her. "Shit. You didn't tell him did you Charles? You ain't been sitting in that pub or where ever comparing me in bed have you?" Sitting up horrified. She almost shouted the words at him despite being so close. 

"Fuck. Molly. No not like that. He didn't want details about us. Besides I'd never. You know that right?" 

Appeased, and satisfied no bed room secrets had been exchanged she calmed down.

"Right. Ok then. So what?" 

"Well." He leaned his head back on the couch. "He wanted to know if it was serious and stuff. Wanted to know if I was in love." 

"Ahhhh." Was all she said. She felt uncomfortable, she knew where this was going. 

Quietly he said.

"I do love you Molly you know that don't you?"

He still hadn't moved his head from the back of the couch. His eyes were now firmly closed. Not looking at her. Knowing he'd not hear it, or see what he wanted. That this was one topic she'd remain silent on. 

As he'd expected Molly just stayed still.

For a while now he'd been telling her that he loved her. Quietly without pomp, but with utter sincerity. It wasn't all the time, not confident enough for that, just at special times, intimate times together when his heart was so full he couldn't stop the words from coming out . And so today just like the first time he'd ever told her, in that dark night holding her panting body, and every time since she didn't know what to say back to him, so she stayed silent. 

She knew he loved her. Of course he did. She knew it before he even had said it out loud. It was so obvious in everything he did, that words weren't necessary. Yet she still hadn't told him she loved him, something becoming more glaringly obviously. It had just never felt right for her, and each time he said it she saw more and more hurt in his eyes when she never said it back.

She was a fool this modern version of our girl. Of our Molly Dawes. Here was a good, beautiful, kind man who loved her, adored her, but she had never uttered those words back to him. Not once. 

"Yeah. I know." Was all she quietly said. Yet again avoiding it. Struggling to give him what he so plainly needed. Wishing she was braver.

Charles felt lost. Lost with feelings he'd never really explored or experienced before. The unusual heart to heart with his best mate only reinforcing it. That Charles was in love for the first time in his adult life, truly and hopelessly in love. He loved Molly, a woman who remained silent in her feelings for how, whereas he had declared his feelings to her, laid himself out bare to her, she said nothing. Talking to Elvis, finally saying it out loud admitting, to his best mate that he was so very unsure of Molly's feelings toward him, hearing it, discussing it in the cold light of day, over a pint with his best mate, he suddenly felt very foolish. 

Neither of them spoke for a while. Both unsure how to restart again after such a conversation stopper, the mood distinctly soured between them when they did. 

Neither's moods improved upon going to bed that night, both tried with false happiness to show nothing was wrong, both trying to be normal. But both failing. Charles felt exposed, open to being hurt, while Molly was all too aware she yet again was letting him down.

Monday morning came round too quickly. Nothing resolved, just a degree of companionable silence, and in the morning they said their goodbyes to each other as Charles went one way and Molly the other.

Her morning was filled with rubbish, trivial paper work. Something that she usually hated but today, this morning she appreciated it. She had too much going through her head, the routine of her tasks meant she could instead think.

For over three months they had been together. In three months she had let him in to her life more than she had let anyone in before. She loved the life she now had, loved the life she had with him. The awkwardness of the weekend reinforcing just how happy their time so far, up until that point had been, and how she missed that happiness. Plagued, every time she closed her eyes, every time she thought of him she could only think of how unhappy he'd looked, and just how totally unfair she was being. So far, their relationship had been on her terms, he had tried so hard to keep her happy, never once had she truly considered how she should be doing the same. Until now.

Her first serous relationship, her first ever proper relationship to be fair, and it now dawned on her that she needed to grow up if she was to keep Charles. Her rules, her need to keep him at arm's length was hurting him, and she was unsure as to why she was doing that to someone she really care about.

Well, if she was honest with herself that wasn't exactly true. Actually she knew perfectly well why she was behaving the way she was.

She was scared.

She'd never told anyone that she'd loved them before, had never even got close, never expected too, and now with Charles because she so knew that she did it scared her. She loved him and worried about all the things that could go wrong, how hurt she could get, frightened of being let down, were all things that had stopped her up until now. But she could fight it no more, despite everything, even the crashing need at times to run away from it all, the truth of the matter was she was 100% in love with Charles James. The man, the soldier, the gentleman. The best she'd ever been so lucky to know. She needed to tell him. 

His unhappy mood that set in over the weekend didn't improve once he'd got to work. Trying to shake off the doubts, but he couldn't. Too late, they were set firmly in. His talk with Elvis, now filled him with doubts about their relationship. Yet Charles was finding he was a man who once loved, loved forever, despite exposing his heart, despite her silence, he couldn't give up, and instead he tried so hard to understand her.

He knew her, and he loved her. She was independent, and, just like he had been at first, maybe she was just a bit scared by it all. He knew he'd give her the time she needed. She was worth it. He was committed to this relationship, for the first time ever in his life. Knowing what he felt for Molly was too special to lose without a bloody good fight. 

It was an unwritten tradition. One he actually enjoyed. Every Monday he'd join the rest of two section at the local coffee shop on base. It was a way to keep in touch with his men, off the record. Work out what made them tick. Find out things about their lives. They'd usually all lunched together and informally went through what's what for the week. A lot of the Captains did it, but like Charles, they always left as soon at the weekend's antics started to be discussed. There were certain things Captains didn't need to know about their sections. 

He was surprised as he got there to find his section all gathered and even livelier than usual. Holding court, showing off. It was only when they broke apart slightly that he saw her.

Beautiful. That was the word that first came to his mind. Dressed in mufti, no trace of the military about her, her hair loose, the way he liked it, and with only traces of make up on her beautiful face. She'd made an effort not to look like the soldier she had been when he said goodbye to her that morning. She was simply beautiful. 

He didn't greet her at first, unsure of why she was there, and not able to do it in the way that he wanted to. Staring at her instead with a puzzled look, curious as to her presence, with his section on his base. His mind ran though the base schedules noting there were no training sessions to explain her attendance. He was confused. 

She spoke to him first. 

"Hello you." She sounded coy. Dropped her eyes when looking at him. Smiling with intent. It surprised him. No formality in her greeting. For the first time ever she hadn't felt it was needed in this group. It was a definite change. Most of his section noticed too, noticing the atmosphere between the two suddenly was telling a different story from a Corporal merely saying hello to a Captain. 

"Hi." He stumbled. Unsure whether to call her Dawes or Molly in front of his section. "This is an nice surprise. To what do we owe the honour?" He still tried to keep his tone as stiff as he could. He failed. Smiles crept into the section's faces. 

It was as though time stood still as they stared at each other, her eyes teasing him with something that only caused his heart to hope. She moved away from the section, and with a tip of her head, something she'd watched him do many times, she signalled for them to move away. To be alone. 

Out of ear shot, but only just, she looked at him. Happy. Brave. Lightly touching him on his arm. 

"Thought I'd treat my boyfriend to lunch. Make up for the grump of the weekend we've had." She smiled. "Forgot all these cockwombles would be here too mind you." She giggled. 

"Bit public isn't it?" He asked, scratching his head as though he really meant the question, when really he was just so happy to see her. So happy that she wanted to see him too. 

"Nah." She replied as they found themselves seats and sat down. "I think it's just right." She moved her chair closer to him. Sitting almost touching. "About time too." She added apologetically. 

"You do know they'll talk. Imagine all type of things." He said cottoning on that this was her way of going public. Then looking around seeing others watching him, others curious as to who was talking to him, sitting closer to him, too close, more than friendly to him, he continued. "Think we're going to be gossiped about." Hoping his words wouldn't scare her. 

She smiled, legs touching, tantalising, under the table. He felt it, amazed at the change, cautious still, but oh so grateful for small steps.

"Don't care. Think the bloody world should know." She grinned as she saw the surprise on his face as she said the words. 

He recovered quickly, accepting her meaning.

"And just exactly what is that they should know?" He teased. He reached over and discreetly held her hand. Stroking his thumb across her knuckles. Locking her eyes with his. Her face beamed at his touch, smiled at the happiness spread across his beautiful face. She didn't pull away only moved into him closer. A thousand eyes now on them. 

"That you're mine. That I'm so happy I'm yours. That you're perfect." Then she leaned over to him. Her lips tantalisingly close to his ear. Everyone watching was now left in no doubt. One fraction of a turn of her head and she could kiss him, but she didn't. She watched as his face anticipated it. Instead she did something far more beautiful than that to him. 

She whispered in his ear. 

"I love you." 

He let out a small happy chuckle, that didn't portray just how happy he was. Of all the places he'd imagined her declaring her love for him he'd never once imagined it would be in the middle of his camp's coffee shop in front of his men. But however she had done it, his heart spilled over for the love he had for her because she had done it. 

"Well that's good. Cause I definitely love you too Molly Dawes." Watching her face break out into the happiest of states. Looking so beautiful because of it. 

He turned himself into her face, still so close to his. Mindful of who he was, where he was, he merely placed a small delicate kiss on her nose. Her face instantly flushing at the sound of two section's cheers. 

Their secret was out, and it surprised Molly how good it felt. She suddenly found she liked being part of a two, rather than a lonely one. They didn't flaunt their togetherness...much. Yet they certainly didn't hide it away either, and she found once she had started to say the words...' I love you'... she found it so hard to stop. They both did. Loving how it thrilled the other when they utter the words.

Together life was good. They live a happy life, a young fun filled life. No barriers now between them. She got to know his friends, the other side of his life, he got to know hers. They double dated, went to dinner parties, balls, all together as the beautiful couple they were. Never apart if they could help it. Both working hard and playing hard. Happier than either of them had ever been. 

The pregnancy test sat on the bath's side. The two little stripes indicating that total life changing event.

They had never talked about kids. The Army, career pathways, promotion, tours, in their plans, but not kids. Never kids. And now they had no choice. She was pregnant. 

This was the third test she had done and still hadn't told him. He'd noticed nothing, but everyday she thought she saw changes in herself. The biggest change was that every day she became even more shit scared about it than the one before. 

A single mother. That's not what she had intended to be. Knowing her family would have so much to say about it all. Knowing they'd be thrilled she had finally proved to them as being the disappointment they believed her to be.

It was going to be so hard she knew that. Dreams destroyed all because of one little slip up. 

Molly looked at the test one more time, and sadly smiled. Resigning herself to the finality if it all. There was going to be a baby. Things were going to change. Picking it up throwing it in the bin with the others, ending the torment of looking at it. Instead she turned to her equally shocked friend, who had shared this moment, shared it together. 

Leaving the bed sit bathroom she knew what she must do. The time had come. Sharing her news had shown her that, it wasn't going away. She had only one person therefore that she wanted to turn to. She loved him. He loved her. They told each other often enough. She had to tell him. To share this with him. It was too big a secret to hide. 

Knocking on his room door, somewhere where she used to visit lots until barrack life became too public and they instead met at hers. She hadn't visited for a while, and wondered after tonight if she would ever visit here ever again. If he'd be too angry with her about it all. End it. 

"Hello beautiful. This is a surprise." He said and stopped in his track. He wasn't greeted by a happy smile, but a girl he loved heart broken. 

"Shit what's the matter?" 

She pushed passed him, and he followed. Worried for her, for the woman he loved. 

"What's going on? You're worrying me." He pleaded. 

"I'm pregnant." She sobbed out, ready for his anger. His hate for her. Sure this was exactly what he hadn't wanted. She messed up his life. 

"You're what?" He asked, stumbling the words out. 

"Pregnant. About Six, seven weeks. Sorry." An apology she was certain he'd expect. 

"Pregnant. Sorry. You're sorry? You're pregnant?" But it wasn't the anger in his voice that she expected.

Instead it was pure happiness. 

"You're not mad." She asked, amazed, taking in his smile. 

"Mad? I think it wonderful. Come here beautiful." And he grabbed her. Kissing her, holding her, never wanting to let this wonderful woman go. 

"So you're happy yeah?" She asked just for clarity. "What about promotion and that?" 

"Stuff that. I'm going to be a dad." He laughed. 

"Yeah." She laughed finally happy. Happier than she'd even been in his arms. In the arms of the man she never dreamt of loving so much.

He beamed at her. 

"I love you so much Rebecca." He said, and they kissed. 

She was his, he was hers and Smurf couldn't be happier.


	7. Chapter 7

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 7**

The bleeding just wouldn't stop. She was trying her hardest, but nothing was helping. The injury was too severe, fatal. Molly realised that for the first time ever in her career she was coming close to lose some one. Panic staring to push to the fore front of her mind, starting to take issue with her actions. She called in all her reserves to keep it together for his sake. He didn't deserve her falling apart on him. 

She heard the sounds of the culprits driving off. Too scared by what they had done. Feeling like big boys, racing up and down the high street, until the enormity of what they had done struck home. They had potentially taken someone's life. 

She stayed, trying to help. Do all she could for him. Gently consoling him. Listening all the time. Listening for the sirens, listening for any noise from the victim, desperate for him to make a sound. 

As his life slowly ebbed away he never regained consciousness. He never opened his eyes. She never knew his name, and he never knew hers. The girl that had tried so hard to save him. She hoped he didn't feel that pain that would have come from such an injury. She hoped he felt some comfort in her presence, hoping he knew she was there and that he wasn't dying alone. She was with him. 

It was a fluke that she was there at all. Walking through the familiar deserted back lanes of the estate she had grown up in. It was the dead of the night, the streets were empty, most people in bed, and she was only there because her and her family had argued. They had argued like they always argued. The disappointment in her life choices still an area of conflict between them, and so she left. Left them behind once again and set off to her home. 

Foolishly this time she had thought they would be happy to see her. It had been so long. She was wrong, that was obvious from the moment she walked into her old home, her welcome a frosty one. But she stayed, she needed to see them, about to go on a six month tour, she wanted to make peace before she left. It hadn't worked and despite trying it had ended in a terrific row, with Molly practically running from the house. Her ears filled with her own grief, hearing nothing. That was until she heard the slamming of his body bouncing off the car onto the roadside. 

Instinct took over. Startled at first by the noise, struggling to place it. Finding cover, waiting out and assessing the situation. Then she saw him. A young lad, not even twenty. Floored by the speeding car. Bleeding out. Dying. She tried, but ultimately by the time the paramedics had arrive he was dead. 

Letting herself into the empty flat she still held strong. Hours and hours had been spent with the police answering questions, trying to identify the speeding car, eventually communicating effectively to them that she just simply hadn't seen anything. Anything apart from the young man dying in her arms. Eventually they let her go, reassured her she had done all she could, drove her the long distance home and they agreed to be in touch. Something, she feared was not going to be easy due to her imminent deployment tomorrow. In less than 24 hours she'd be there. Her new temporary home for six months. Kit bag all packed, forms all filled out, plans in place. 

She sat down on the couch, totally alone. Shaking with the shock, finally it was catching up with her. Needing a hug, one of his famous hugs, but left wanting. Wanting to call Charles. Wanting him, but she didn't. Molly knew that wouldn't be fair. It was too late. So she just sat crying alone. 

All too soon she found herself at the airport. With her new section, an outsider, no friendships yet formed. Standing, being processed, and answering questions, checking supplies, all actions in getting prepared to leave. 

She was focused. No one had come to see her off. She knew no one would. She needed to be strong, they respected that about her as she had asked them not to come. But now, after last night, now she was actually here she regretted that one last final hug, that one last kiss from those she loved. It was going to be a long lonely six months. 

What a difference six months could make. 

Following Smurf's proposal Smurf and Rebecca finally got married several months ago. A slightly more rushed affair than normal because of the circumstances, but equally as lovely as though they had been planning it for years. 

She loved seeing her mate and his girl so settled, so happy. He had taken the news so well, and she delighted in seeing her mate who through one happy accident was getting everything he wanted. 

In fact everyone was delighted for them, well at least those who loved them, those that mattered. Rebecca's family horrified at her condition, and cut off all contact, something most truly expected, and so it was Charles' parents who stepped up and supported her. Just as they had done most of her adult life. 

Wedding preparations soon took over all their lives. Every friend who meant something to them had a part to play. So it came as no surprise that Charles was asked to give Rebecca away, something he said yes to without hesitation. However what did surprise them all was that Smurf asked Molly to be his 'Best Man'. 

It must have been an odd, but such a happy site at the Registrar's office that day. Smurf's side was crowded and full of relatives and loved ones. Rebecca's side sparsely populated mainly with friends, only Charles' parents there as her family. 

Molly stood at the front, supporting a very nervous Smurf, taking her duties very seriously, both today and in the organising of his Stag do. Uttering calming words as his anxiety grew. 

Then eventually it was time. Molly turned to watch Smurf's heavily pregnant wife to be waddled up the aisle, valiantly supported by her Charles. Looking dashing in a casual suit. All eyes were on the bride. Molly's were elsewhere. 

She couldn't miss the look in his eyes as he watched her standing there. She couldn't take her eyes if him. The look he gave her was familiar, the same look she had seen from his eyes over the past months. Utter adoration. He was there for Rebecca's important day, but it was Molly who now, and always, was in his thoughts. 

As the months passed as they got embroiled in the wedding preparation she'd watched Charles getting broody watching his cousin blossom, and plan her new life. She could see as time went by that Charles started to long for what Rebeca and Smurf had. Her greatest fear that one day soon he would act on his longing. That he'd ask her the question she feared, as nearly every day went by, that he was going to ask her. 

And he did that very night. The night of Smurf and Rebecca's wedding do. Dancing holding her in his arms he whispered softly into her ear. 

"Will you marry me Molly?" 

It was perfect. They were both dressed up to the nines, looking beautiful as they moved slowly around the dance floor. The lights low and fairy lights twinkled around them. Family and friends happy, relaxed laughing. It was the perfect time to ask. Any girl would have been thrill with the utter romance of it all. 

But not our Molly. It was too soon. 

Looking back she didn't know how she spoke. How she had to say what she wanted to say. But she did. She simply said 'no'. 

He didn't crumple. He didn't get upset, he just smiled and held her closer. He amazed her. 

"Didn't think you'd say 'yes' the first time Dawes." He cooed out. 

"What do you mean?" She asked surprised. 

"I mean, that you Molly, are my love, and that I will keep asking you until you until one day you do say 'yes'. And then they just kept on dancing. Him holding her closer than ever. Her grateful that it wasn't the end. 

Neither of them mentioned it again. They just kept being happy together, going on as before. Yet sometimes she'd catch him looking at her, and sometimes she just knew what he was thinking. 

Soon, very soon after the wedding Rebecca went into labour. Quick, easy and without too much fuss a new little human was brought into the world. Young William. 

As soon as possible Charles and Molly visited. Excited. Congratulation, tears, and hugs aplenty. They idolised him as they saw him and were delighted to be asked to be his Godparents. They both accepted. 

He was a beautiful child and Molly found it hard to let him go at the end of the visit. Over the following weeks both her and Charles visited a lot, helping, adoring, and bonding. Both enjoying being Aunty and Uncle to this tiny wonderful human being. 

Charles enjoyed it , but watched it all. Seeing how she melted around William. Seeing such a beautiful soft side to his Molly, so different to what he'd seen before. It made him even more convinced, it made him love her even more. So again he tried. Driving home, one dark winter's night. Not as romantic as before, but still with as much sincerity and love, he therefore asked her again. Declaring his love, his want to start a new life with her. 

Once again our girl, asked by the man she loved to marry him, and stupidly once again she said no. Explaining this time it was too soon. They'd only been dating for a year, not long enough. Whatever her reasons though the answer he received was still a very definite no. 

This time though he didn't laugh, he tried to, but the hurt came out. He again said he'd keep on asking, and this time to lessen the hurt she said that she'd probably say yes to him one day, just not now. And so they let the topic alone. 

Their time together continued as before, but Molly knew he was hurt and she often felt there was always something he closed off from her since that night. She'd caught him numerous time's watching her, about to say something but he never did, his nerve always seemed to fail, and selfishly she was glad about that. Still on the outside, for all to see they seemed fine, but both felt deep down things weren't as good as they should have been. Yet neither admitted it out loud. 

Eventually came the day for William's christening. Molly and Charles a very united front for all to see. The day was almost a double take of the wedding. The guests mainly the same and Molly and Charles having a starring role in the events once again. 

Another happy day in Rebecca and Smurf's life. Another day Molly and Charles had shared in their love and good fortune. Another day that Charles felt certain of what he too wanted from his life.

"Will you marry me." He asked as they got into bed that night. Stalling all day, trying to avoid it completely, but the question just did not go from his head. 

"No." she replied. Then added. "Not yet." 

"When Molly?" He sighed, again rejected. "This is the third time I've asked. A man's kind of losing hope here." He laughed out in a vain attempt to hide the breaking sounds of his heart. 

"I don't know." She answered him as truthfully as she could. But she needed to give him more. "It's just once we get married then it's kids and stuff. What about my career?" She asked. 

"You can have both. You know that. We'll find away. Lots do." He hopefully bargained. 

"No." She shout back, feeling as though he was about to trick her. "I love you. Love us, but don't want that not yet." Failing to finish the sentence off with 'maybe not ever' as she had wanted to, but had lost her nerve. 

"When?" He questioned. "Fuck Molly! Well at least move in with me." He snapped and loudly barked back. Even on this proposal, to share a home she had turned him down. 

He was desperate for her to accept something of a future from him, but even on this matter she refused. 

There was no point in arguing. Her mind definitely fixed. That night she spent it on the couch, leaving him alone in his bed. By the time he woke the next morning she had left. 

A 'Dear John' note she'd composed as he slept, propped up on the kitchen top. 

He was distraught. Knowing he'd pushed too hard, that he should have settled for what they had rather than wanting more. He tried to right his wrong, despite his best efforts however she refused to see him, blanked his calls. Avoided him at all costs. She'd ended it, ended them so suddenly and so very cruelly. He had done nothing to deserve her hard actions, but that was just how out Molly did things, how she'd coped. Thinking swift and painless as possible was the best course of action. And then she also chose to run farther away from him, two weeks later finding herself sat on a plane headed for a six months tour. Far far away from him. The perfect way for them both to get over their broken hearts. Out of sight; out of mind.

"So did it work it then? The three stripes. Giving everything up. Losing folks, friends, lovers? Was it worth it?" He motioned his head toward the new ranking on her uniform, new, clean. A sign of her very recent promotion to Sergeant.

She was shocked by the impertinence of the question, but even more shocked by the sound of his voice. A voice that thousands of miles away from home she had not expected to hear. She hadn't heard it for months. 

It was three months into her tour that she received the news from her CO. Finally after years of trying, working hard she had gained her promotion. Effective immediately. Sergeant Molly Dawes had finally arrive, and it felt so good. The promotion meant that she was to stay with this section for the foreseeable, and then it would be up for discussion once UK based where she would go. To say she was ecstatic was an understatement. 

She wanted to tell the world, but in reality she only had Rebecca and Smurf to tell, and even then she felt awkward about doing so. For numerous reasons, but also because of the close friendship they had kept with Charles. Their good friends who had been pushed into an unhappy situation, forced to choose as side, and with her running away their choice made easier. And so Molly told no one. Her family not interested, and Charles... well he was a thing of her past, she'd severed contact, and he hadn't perused her after those first weeks and so hadn't spoken in many months. Her news wouldn't mean anything to him anymore. 

She thought of him daily though . Some days missing him dreadfully. Some days so angry with him for trying to change the perfect relationship they had too soon, well before she knew was ready. But more than anything she ached for him, constantly, for his company, his friendship, and the love she always felt wrapped up in when he was near. No one had treated her like that ever before and she missed it. 

So the voice questioning her startled her, but she turned slowly. 

"Yeah mate it was." Waiting to see how he'd react. Guessing he'd not expected her to be honest. Except secretly she knew she wasn't, nothing was worth that. She could see the pain on his face as he registered the coldness of her words. She hadn't meant to hurt but it was something she was becoming good at. 

"Oh for fucks sake Mols! Come here and give Uncle Smurf a hug." He caved in first, missing her so much. 

And she did. Desperate for contact with someone she loved. The tour was going well but she was finding it difficult to make friends. Too many unhappy thoughts in her head, making her poor company. 

"Smurf. Shit it's good to see you." She hugged him tight. Tears welled in her eyes. "What the hell you doing here?" 

"Congratulations." He replied giving her a mock salute, moving away from her. Then pulling her to sit next to him on the dusty floor. "Got some catching up to do. Haven't we?" He continued. 

They sat together like the old friends they were. Gossiping about his life, wife and son. It still amazed her when she looked at him. He had it all, and he was so happy. Missing his family dreadfully, but only out there for a week or so. On a recon exercise, then back home to family life. 

Compared to Smurf she had little to say. Her news very sparse and dull. There were areas where she just didn't want to talk about. Yet they were those that couldn't be avoided.

Molly had told him by letter, eventually weeks later, when she was safely away on tour, about the car accident and the loss of a young man's life. He'd read about it in the papers too, who'd picked up on a Good Samaritan story. He'd never written back to her however, unsure what to say, but here now in front of her he touched on the subject. Listening to her, saddened and horrified at what she had to go through and neither he nor Rebecca being there for her.

"He was only 17." She said. Pouring handful of dust through her hands. "That nothing is it. No age at all." 

Smurf pulled her in for a cuddle knowing the hard emotionless act was just that, an act. She broke down in long overdue tears, finally, being held by her best mate on a dusty floor in a hot country miles away from home. Her grief poured out for the first time since that night, grief over the loss of the life, and grief over the loss of her life with Charles. 

"The inquest is in two weeks. I have to go back for that. Explain what I saw and everything. Which wasn't much." She sobbed. "I couldn't save him Smurf. I couldn't help him. He died." 

She thought about her failure to that young man every day. How despite her job, her promotion, her dedication, when it came down to it all she could do was watch a young man die. The guilt ate away at her every night as she tried to sleep. She was as her family and repeatedly said over the years...just not good enough. 

The day of the inquest finally came. She went there alone. Had done the entire journey here alone, from flights back to the UK, to the taxi ride here. Alone. She had no one to turn to. Smurf still away and Rebecca, full of apologies, at home dealing with a poorly William.

She felt sick, knowing she'd have to relive it all. She could clearly see the blood on her hands that night, how it had pooled on the floor round her knees, soaking into her jeans. The deathly silence from the body she held. She'd never forget. 

The memories were something today she could cope with, something that had become part of her daily life, expected. However today there was something else she had to deal with. Something else, but something unexpected. The faces of his family, his loved ones, who all wanted to see her, seek her out. It made it all so much more sadder to her. No longer was he an anonymous young man, but here seeing then, touching them, he became more real. Someone's son, brother, boyfriend, friend, and with that type of information she couldn't cope. How could she look his mother, his family in the eye and explain how she just couldn't save their son? That she'd let him and had them down. 

She hung her head between her knees. Left alone in the corridor, waiting to be called in to the inquest. She felt sick, her head between her knees, a good cure she reckoned, something her mother had once taught her. It only focused her more on how she was falling apart though. 

"You ok?" The voice asked, quietly. Shocking her. She hadn't heard anyone approach.

She whipped her head up, causing her nausea to return, but that was pushed to the back of her senses. This was too important. She studied the man behind the voice. 

He stood there unsure, wary of her reactions to him. Equally as unsure as he was about being there. He saw her try to smile at him, it gave him some calmness, and she said, amazed. 

"Charles?" Swallowing the ball of nausea that was rushing up into her mouth. "What you doing here?" 

She looked broken, pale. Her upset over it all clear to see in her reddened eyes. His heart melted, he hated to see her like this. All he wanted to do was to pick her up. Hold her, make her love him again. Knowing those days of closeness were over. 

"I came. Rebecca said William was sick. Thought I'd come to support you." He bashfully looked at the ground, shuffling his feet. Now so unsure. 

When he'd heard from Rebecca that morning that Molly would be alone on today of all days, he thought of nothing more than wanting to be by her side. He'd been horrified to hear, through friends, the papers, of what she had gone through all alone, and so he didn't want her to go through this part of the nightmare alone too. 

"Thank you." She rose and moved towards him. "Thank you. And it's so good to see you Charles." And she meant it. Not just because of where she was. Not just because of how desperate she felt, but because him being there, them being together again felt so right. 

That was all she got to say, even though she had wanted to say more. Called in at that very moment to deliver her evidence.

The next hours went by slowly and painful for all involved. She cried as she told her tale, unable to separate herself from her grief and the grief of his family as she watched them crumble too. The events she recounted, that they had to sit and listen to all too awful to ever imagine that it could happen to your loved one. Yet through it all Charles sat at the back of the room. Calm. Looking directly at her at all times. Loving. Offering her small smiles and glances of reassurances. Steadfast. Being there, supporting her. Being just what she needed, as he had always been throughout their time together. 

He was almost instantly by her side when her evidence had finished, and the sitting adjourned . Guiding her through the numerous family members who had yet again descended on her, this time coming to thank her for what she had tried to do. They meant well, needed contact with the person who'd last seen him alive, but the claustrophobia of it all didn't help Molly. Charles knew this, knew her. It just made her feel more guilty, guilty that he wasn't alive today. Guilty that despite all the medical evidence of the day that he would never have survived, his injuries to extensive, that she'd done too little too late. 

It was Charles who lead her away, settling her down in his car. Not a word was said. He just let her cry as he drove her home without asking if he could. It's what he did, he took care of her...always... even when she pushed him away. 

Turning to him as the car stopped outside her home, she smiled. Not a full smile, but the best she could offer him considering. Happy to see he smiled back at her, but like hers it was not a happy smile but a comforting one. 

"Thank you. For today and that. It meant a lot." She spoke. 

He struggled to reply, to get the tone right. Not wanting to upset her any more.

"Don't mention it." He modestly said. "You ok from here?" He asked as he nodded towards her building. Making no signs of getting out himself. 

"Err. Yeah. Thanks." She was suddenly shy around, him mindful of how badly she'd treated him last time in his company. "I go back tomorrow." She whispered out looking down at her folded hands. 

He said nothing, out of the corner of her eyes she saw he nodded once or twice, then stepped out of the car. He surprised her as he quickly opened her side of the car. 

Stepping out, the only thing she could do.

"Do you want to come in?" Bravely she met his eyes. Looking hopeful at him. 

"No." The words were strong. Determined. Then remembering his manners. "No thank you Molly." 

She reached over to touch his arm, but he skilfully move before she even made contact. 

"Please?" But she knew it was pointless. 

"I've got to be going." He said, and started to turn, to leave. 

She halted him with her words. He spun round and looked at her. 

"I'm sorry Charles. Really sorry." 

He pulled his mouth into a non-committal half smile. As though he didn't believe her. Then he just nodded at her. No words were said.

She tried again.

"Charles. Can we talk?"

This time he surprised her, the laugh that came out full of scorn and hate.

"I don't think so. Think it's a bit fucking late for that don't you?" He spat out. The angriest and ugliest she'd ever seen him.

"Charles!" She gasped. Her emotions so tightly strung, unable to help the sob that followed.

Yet this time her wasn't move by her upset.

"Five months ago. Five bloody months ago Molly. That was the time for talking. But you didn't. You ran. You left and you broke my heart."

He quickly got himself into the car, driving away before she could reply, apologise again. 

She stood there watching his car tail lights disappear. Feeling foolish. Watching her love, her life drive away. Some part of her hoping he'd turn back. But he didn't. 

He just kept on driving. He kept on putting space and time between them. 

She had broken his heart, and he would never ever go back there again. 

Today would be the last time he'd ever actively seek out her company, be there to support her.

From today Charles James and Molly Dawes would be nothing to each other ever again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 8**

It. Was. Unbelievable.

Hobson's choice.

That's what they had given her. She felt angry, and royally pissed off, but she held her tongue. Wisely. She'd learnt that lesson the hard way. 

Molly had now been back from her tour for three months or so and had finally been enjoying it, yet she knew she was sadly on borrowed time with this particular section. There were lots of shufflings about going on at all levels of the RAMC, and she was fully aware that soon, one day, she'd hear the news too. A permanent transfer, a new section, which would automatically be offered following her promotion. 

What she had not expected that dull Tuesday afternoon however was to be faced with the rubbish choices she'd just had heard from her CO. 

Calling her in, she could see he was almost ashamed at what he was about to say, obviously knowing a bit of her history. Wondering at the sense of it all. 

"So to simply put it Dawes they are your two choices." He looked at her squarely, wanting to apologise, but knowing this decision came way above his head. He had no say in any of it. He would have been more than happy for her to stay. Once her promotion had come through though her fate had already been written. 

"Thank you Sir. I understand. It's just I don't know... I thought that one option wouldn't be an option, if you know what I mean. Sir." She tried to explain. 

He didn't want to get into to it all. A bit too personal, a bit too close to his social group.

"Apparently it's all in the past... history. No personal involvement. It's been cleared." He felt awkward. "We'll expect your answer in 24 Dawes." And with that she was dismissed. 

"Shit."

She walked the fastest she could do without looking as though she was. Not wanting any outward signs of the utter madness she felt in her nut. Reaching her office space she grabbed her mobile, and dialled. Not expecting him to answer, that's not what he did on seeing her number anymore. Surprised though when he did...almost instantly. 

"Charles? It's me. We need to talk." 

For once he was in total agreement with her and so several hours later it found them both in the same room, something that hadn't happened for over nine months, ready to talk. 

"You want a beer?" She offered going towards her fridge. Grabbing herself one. Expecting it to be a long night. Dreading the conversation, but also secretly thrilled to have him back in her home. 

"No. This isn't a social call." He answered, and stood to emphasise the point. "Look let's make myself clear. I don't want you. Won't ever accept this. It won't work. So as far as I can see you have no choice. You have to go." 

"Shit, that's it? No discussion? No asking what I want?" She mocked back at him angrily, but she could see in his eyes that she really did have no choice. He would not be moved. 

"Yes it's that simple Dawes. I will never accept you as my sections medic. I will do all I can to keep Lane. Apart from anything she's reliable and trustworthy. She won't let me down." The last words almost spat out to emphasise his point. Then he turned and left. Leaving her shouting out. 

"So this is it yeah? The end?" She hadn't expected a reply and he certainly didn't give her one. Only he turned and gave her a cold hard unforgiving stare. Then went. 

She slumped back down on the chair. She'd only had herself to blame. She had messed this up. Running away from them, now meant she had only one option. She had to keep running. 

It wasn't what she wanted, but it's what she accepted 24 hours later. A two years posting in Cyprus. Her only option as the alternative was too crazy to even consider. A permanent placement with two section, under Charles' command. But that could never happen so her only way out of all this mess was to say 'yes' to Cyprus. 

Two years in a hot country, testing her new skills, her promotion, a place with lots of new things to experience, places to go. It sounded ideal. A young person's dream, but it wasn't Molly's. She wanted to stay at home, close to Charles, hoping that maybe they could find their way back to each other. She'd never really given up on that dream. 

In the few months she'd been home she had tried, once, twice, numerous times to talk to him. Call him. Sometimes he answered his phone, other times he didn't, but the message was always the same, a definite no from Charles. The time for them to talk was long gone. His heart, he feared just wouldn't take it, and so he reverted to type, cold, focused, uninvolved. And definitely unavailable as far as Molly was concerned. 

Her plan to try with Charles had been a simple, naive one, but all those months away had made her want to try. She'd hoped to enlist Smurf and Rebecca's help, had truly expected it, but in her absence they had chosen sides. Still very much her friend, but not willing to help her hurt their other friend, again. She still wasn't ready for all he had wanted, she'd almost admitted that to them. They both felt then that Charles and Molly would still hurt each other eventually if they reunited, and so stayed well and truly out of it. 

She sat on the sandy beautiful beach. The sun was going down but it was still warm, it always was. A fully stomach, a beer in one hand and a whole free weekend to consider….happy days.

This was the regular end of the month get together. Most months, like tonight, they all gathered on the beach, played games, sang, drank, and ate, all in the company of friends. It was something that Molly had actually resisted doing for the first few months out there, too shy almost, too sad, but when she finally did go, on a whim, it was the best thing she could ever have done. 

It turned the miserable, world she'd ingrained herself into around. Her life out in Cyprus now wasn't so bad. She now had friends, good friends, loving her role and new section, and all those positives were only made better by the fact most days were generally wall to wall sunshine. Her fitness was up considerably, her skin tanned and toned. Her mind in a good place and her social life ever so active. She was starting to live again. 

For all to see she was making a success out of the 'choice' she didn't actually have a choice in making. She put on a good show for all, not thinking about the 'why' she was there, but trying to focus on the fact that she was.

Of course she missed Smurf, they had always been close, and his family, William, Rebecca but she accepted their loss too as part of the collateral damage she'd caused when she'd walked out on Charles. 

Rebecca, being his family and Smurf's just being reliable old Smurf had remained good friends with Charles, and so it helped everyone by her not being there anymore. Allowing their get together to go ahead without the dilemmas of whether her or Charles should be invited. This way it was simple. This way it was always Charles. 

The day she left however, Rebecca and Smurf were there for her, and were the only ones who came to see her off. She simply had no others. Her parents and her never reuniting. There were no tears at her going, no dramatic scenes. Just a collective resignation that it was what it had to be. The usual promises of Skype, holidays out to see her, and definite plans of keeping touch. 

Best intentions had started out being met, but as time went by, on both sides they soon fell away. Everyone seemed to lead such busy lives. And so Molly realised the life she now had was the life she had to start living. Hence her first appearance at the beach all those months ago, when she bravely started to make new friends for her new life. 

Unlike any other times in her life, it was surprisingly easy. Most folk there in the same boat, young, free and needing to be happy with their lot. She'd made particular friends with a group, and had started running with them every morning, something which would have been unheard of for her back home. They even persuaded her to join the Army squash team, something she found she was bloody good at. Cyprus surprised her, and for once she felt she was good enough to be the person everyone told her she could be. Charles would have been proud. 

He was still very much in her daily thoughts however. At one time she had wanted nothing more than him to hear her out, for her to be given the chance to explain, to apologise to him. But that was not to be. Now she just regretted ever being that girl who was just too afraid to commit. Knowing she'd never be in that situation again, she was growing, trusting, and would not allow that monumental mistake to define her forever. 

The box of memories she had of their time together was one of the few personal effects she'd brought out with her. Most stuff in the bedsit she had given up with the rented space. To begin with she limited herself to looking at the bits and pieces that reminded her of them, but now stronger, moving forward, she allowed herself to dwell on them as frequently as she liked. Even allowing the odd photo or two of them, looking happy, to take residence on her wall or fridge door. Telling herself she didn't love him, just regretted the loss of a friendship, and of letting other couple's examples foolishly cloud her own heart and mind.

There were a couple of really close friends she'd made, Matt, was one of them and had been a great friend from the start. An unofficial help and a guide to her settling in. He took her under his wing, prided himself in initiating her into her new world, and without him and the friends that his company automatically brought, Molly may have felt lonely, but she didn't. She felt grateful, fearing though almost every day though that his friendship, the one he offered all those months ago was changing towards her. She was starting to realise that potentially, this young, First Lieutenant might have a bit of a crush on her. 

She didn't want to go there. Not quite ready to let Charles go. Not ready to start all over again, but it was hard for her however to be completely immune to his charms. He was stunning. Blonde hair, ice blue eyes, wonderful personality, and from the physicality she'd seen in the squash courts, a killer body to boot. They got on well, had the same sense of humour, outlook on life, if not the same backgrounds, and both professionally and socially, both on and off the squash court, they were a good match. Genuinely a really nice guy. It all could be so easy with him. 

The Hen Do in Amsterdam was something she hadn't expected. Wondering how she'd come to saying yes to it. Never having close friends on this level before, she'd never really experienced the whole, go away for a weekend girly type piss up, trip. The fact it was to celebrate someone's marriage was as far as Molly could see just an excuse, and it all seemed a little too wild for her. Of course she liked to have fun, enjoyed a good time, but this opened her eyes. She was young and she tried, joining in where she could, but mindful at times she was their senior, and sometimes their behaviour was just wrong. A lot of the weekend she spent babysitting emotional drunk girls in toilets and constantly looking for an escape from the group. 

The hand on her shoulder made her first jump, and by the mere fact she'd been hit on too many times already that night, it then made her want to break its owners arm. 

She turned, but before she could say anything she was pulled into a smothering hug. Her anger morphing into shock. He smelt so good, still look amazing, and was definitely ever so pissed. 

"Dawsey. Dawsey. Dawsey." He sang into her ear. "What my lovely are you doing here?" 

Breaking away, she guided him over to a chair so he could sit. In all the time she'd known him she never seen him this drunk, or had ever heard him call her Dawsey. 

She watched as the rest of his section studied her from the other side of the bar. A few familiar faces raising their glasses in acknowledgment. Obvious that they knew of their history, didn't come over, wanting to stay out of their way.

"Hen Do." She shouted above the noise of the bar. "Here drink this." And she handed him some water from the bar. 

Complying, amazingly he gratefully drank, then looked at her. 

"I'm mad at you, but I forget." He started. "Think you broke my heart Molly!" He burst out as though he suddenly remembered. 

"No mate I didn't." She tried to laugh. Trying to avoid that subject. "It was a bit of fun remembered." She reasoned. 

She saw the hurt on his face. Slamming his hand down on the bar, as a protest, startling her, he continued. His voice raised. 

"Shit. Yes that's right. It was Charlie Boy's heart. Ripped it right out, didn't ya Mols?" He slurred. 

"All right mate keep it down." A good looking Elvis always drew attention. A drunk loud one apparently drew even more. 

"How is he?" She quietly asked. 

"Ha." He snorted. "How is he? How is he?" Then he thought. "He's Charlie's Boy. Back to being the wanker, stick up his arse, Army guy we all didn't miss when he was with you. Back to being 'focused' again. Thank you." 

"That's a good thing. Isn't it?" She asked. Then seeing the grimace Elvis pulled she knew it wasn't. 

"Molly. Dawes. Molly. Fucking. Dawes. You hurt him you know. Like really." He held his hand out to the barman and was instantly rewarded with two shots. 

Molly thought one was for her, but he gave her no such courtesy. Instead he downed them himself. 

"He's moved on. You know. Forgot you and moved on." He continued. 

The words, the reality, the finality, of it all hit her.

It hurt.

Her eyes glossed immediately over. 

"Shit." 

Ignoring her, he ordered two more drinks. Both going quickly the

same way as before. He turned his back on her, unimpressed with the tears he saw. They stood silently side by side and then he pushed past her and raced out to the door, looking green.

She looked over to his section, to see if they'd follow, but no one did. Steadfastly ignoring him. So she did the only thing Molly Dawes could do. She followed him out, despite her better judgement. Not wanting to get more abuse, but knowing she deserved it. Reasoning she had probably all those many months ago got off lightly from the derision of his friends. But he was still that, one of Charles' friends, and he needed help. 

He was a mess. Not the usual Elvis she'd known. His mates nowhere to be found, and so she took him back to her hotel room, part undressed him and put him into her bed. Strategically placing the bin next to the bed head. Just in case. 

The morning came and she was woken from her position, curled up on the settee, by noises of his body protesting to last night's antics. She'd had little sleep, too on guard looking after her patient, and too focused on her task. The room stank of BO and his vomit, something he had done copious amounts of since she'd picked him up from the street corner. 

"Morning." She offered as she saw him wince trying to sit up. 

"Shit. Is it?" He groaned and fell heavily back to the bed. Then noticing his semi dressed state, and hers he groaned. "Shit we didn't did we?"

She laughed.

"Don't flatter yourself mate. I was too sober and you were to pissed." 

She offered him fluids and pain killers. He took them all, while she filled him in in the events of the night before. 

"You were pretty nasty. Just so you know." She said after he'd been brought up to speed. "About Charles and that." 

"Yeah? Sorry. Though maybe you deserved it? After what you did." He groaned, conversation, along with light, and movement were not his friend. 

"Yeah? Maybe I did. I am sorry though you know." She stayed quite for a few moments, then she asked. "Is he happy now?"

"As happy as he can be I guess. Still Army through and through." Elvis told her.

"You said he'd moved on." She quietly asked.

Elvis peeked at her with one eye open.

"Have you?" He asked directly.

Before she had time to think, she answered.

"No. But I'm trying." Then she asked again. "So has he?"

Elvis raised himself up slightly and saw how hurt she looked. Too caught up in his own post alcohol pain to offer her anything but the truth.

"Yeah. She a cruel mistress though. Gave his heart away this time to something he can depend on. That's our Charlie Boy. No risk in this relationship."

She was shocked by his words, but she didn't reply. Besides he'd already fallen back asleep. Their conversation not a priority. She let him sleep, slumber off his hangover. Hoping he'd wake more amiable. She needed Elvis on her side, and hoped her kindness to him last night and this morning would go some way in persuading him to help her.

Lying back on the settee though she quietly allowed the tears to fall, before she could do anything else. Hearing he'd moved on, actually knowing that he had, even though she'd expected it, made it all seem so pointless now. Her pining for him she accepted was pointless, but not her regret. She still felt as though she had one final piece of unfinished business to do where her and Charles were concerned. He needed to know why. 

She kicked herself mentally. Why she hadn't thought of it before she didn't know. But that night two weeks ago seeing Elvis out of the blue put the idea firmly in to her mind. And so when he eventually woke again that morning she put her plan in place. Begged him, pleaded with him for his help. Initially he was reluctant. His loyalty to Charles above and beyond anything else. But then he saw how much she needed this. How much he wished he'd been given a second chance. So he agreed. 

She had spent the best part of the morning... writing. Writing to Charles. Trying with absolute and utter honesty to explain the reasons for doing what she did. The words had been there in her head for the past months, but it wasn't until the catalyst of the drunken friend in front of her that made her strong enough to commit them to paper. She wrote and wrote. Apologised, explained, hope for a degree of forgiveness, and expressed a small dream that one day they might even be friends again. 

She knew the letter was potentially too little too late, but needed finally to offer him a reason for all she had done. She had hoped for nothing more, knowing if she held on to that hope she'd never be happy again. And so within days of her returning back to her camp in Cyprus the photos of Charles were boxed away once again. Memories of what they were and had been closed off. It was time for her, like Charles, to move on.

The days of romantically hoping he'd turn up at her camp, that they'd meet on her holidays back home... were now over. They once had something. Everything really, but she'd been too tainted, to scared, to move it forward. To accept that maybe just maybe not all men were as awful as her own father, and maybe just maybe if she hadn't been then her and Charles might have worked. But she didn't, and she hadn't and so she lost him.

"Oh for God's sake Elvis. Tell me you didn't sleep with her." Her voice was horrified.

"No! What do you take me for? No don't answer that." He defended himself. Feelings like a five years old standing in front of Charles' mother, his very own second mother if he was honest.

Elvis and Charles were visiting his parents for the weekend and he chose to confess his previous weekend's activities to Elizabeth while waiting for Charles to get back from his run.

"Well that's something." She replied. Her tone less scolding. He was like her second son, but she was still under no illusions about his dating habits, or the way he treated women. Even though his heart had been broken he still had no qualms about breaking others.

"So what you going to do? Are you going to tell Charles?" She asked.

"Tell me what?" A voice from behind them spoke out.

Dripping sweat from his early morning run trickled down his face. He took off his sweat drenched top, and wiped his oxters. Since Molly had left him he had pushed himself further and hard than before. Wanting at least his career to be a success and to focus on something other than her.

Both Elvis and Elizabeth looked at each other. Mute

"What's going on?" He asked walking into the kitchen and filling up the kettle.

"Elvis saw Molly. Spent the night with her." His mother spat out. Regretting her words instantly.

"Shit." Charles called out dropping the kettle. "Shit." He again cried as water gushed out.

"Shit." Elvis called out at how Elizabeth had phrased it.

"Shit." Called out Elizabeth as she rushed forwards to save her kettle and the floor.

"You did what?" Charles rounded on his mate. Angry. Unbelieving. A pain stabbing his heart when he heard the words.

"Hey hey. Calm down. It's not like that. I accidentally bumped into her. In Amsterdam. Was too far gone. She took care of me instead of leaving me wallowing in the street. I passed out. She slept on the settee. That's all mate." He spoke quickly. Desperate to clear up his false accusation.

"Right." He turned to help his mother, who pushed him away.

"There's more." She called out, her head in the under sink cupboard looking for cloths.

Charles turned back and raised his eyebrows to Elvis. "More?" Unsure he wanted to hear.

"She gave me this...for you. Asked after you and that. Wanted to know if you were happy." Elvis bashfully went on.

Charles didn't move. Stood stock still as his friend held the letter out in front of him.

"She wrote it, for you mate." He waved it in front of him, but still Charles still didn't move.

"Oh for God's sake Charles take it." His mother wailed.

"No. That's over." He said and walked away. "So over." He muttered under his breath.

Yet Elvis wouldn't let it go. He followed him out.

"Don't be a dick Charles. It's so obviously not, for either of you. You were ready to kill me when you thought I'd slept with her."

Charles looked at his friend offering the letter again to him.

"Take it from me mate losing the woman you love is hard, bloody hard, but losing her again cause she was too stubborn to listen to what there was to say rips your heart out each and every day mate."

Charles watched as Elvis walked away. Sometimes forgetting just how hurt his mate still was at times losing his one true love. Then he too walked away.

The letter sat there on the stairs for the rest of the day, and most of the next. It was only as the weekend was over and the boys were leaving that Elizabeth pushed it into her son's hands as he went to kiss her goodbye.

"Read it Charles. Please." She implored.

"I don't think I can. I don't want to go over it again." He admitted as Elvis packed the car up.

"You still love her." It was a statement not a question.

"Of course I do, but I'm not stupid, or willing to go through that again." He sadly replied.

Still he took the letter from her and placed it in his jeans pocket.

"One day." He promised her. More to appease her than really meaning it. "One day. Maybe then I'll read it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 9**

She ran over to him squealing with delight. Jumping up in to his arms as he spun her round. Equally delighted as her. Planting a resounding but lingering kiss on to her smiling lips. It surprised them both. Their first proper kiss, so public, so spontaneous, but neither had time to dwell as they were pulled away smiling and engulfed in hugs and cheers from the rest of the team. All equally delighted, but now for different reasons. She was their little shining star. 

When Matt has first suggested taking the team to the Tri Services squash tournament in German they all laughed. None of them thinking they would even get into the play offs. Yet here they were months later, and the champions. The last two matches dependent on the final result for them all. The final of these important matches Molly played, and her victory secured it for the team. The team who now a delighted, surprised bunch, were dancing around each other celebrating. 

Remembering her manners she excused herself temporarily from the group to sportsman like offer her condolences to her match loser. It had been a long equally matched battle. Great spectator sport for all, it was almost too hard to call as to whom the victor should be or would be. 

"Well done. Great game." The pretty girl offered as Molly went to shake her hand. 

"Yes. It was. Thank you. You were bloody hard to beat." She laughed back. 

The beautiful girl smiled, pulling her long golden hair out of the sport bun it had been in. "Yeah but I still lost." She laughed too, and started to walk off. 

"I'm Molly by the way." She said. "Molly Dawes." 

"Jacki." The tall, toned, girl replied turning back. "Jacki Branson." Then a strange smile travelled across her face. Stopping her. "Molly? Molly Dawes? As in Molly the medic?" She asked. 

"Err. Yeah? What? Do I know you?" Molly asked puzzled, feeling as though she was being inspected by the woman in front of her. 

"Oh. No. We've never met. I just know you by word of mouth let's say." She politely continued. 

Molly screwed her face up. 

"Is that a good thing or bad thing." She tried to joke about it, but was feeling uncomfortable. 

"I don't know. Neither I guess." Then Jacki seeing Molly totally confused she continued. "Let's just say we share the same taste in men shall we? A certain tall, good looking Captain, with eyes that probe your soul? Ring any bells?" She asked. 

"Shit." Molly said quietly, realising that this was obviously Charles' new woman. This pretty thing was who he'd moved on to. "Well yeah, but that was a long time ago." She stuttered, embarrassed. 

"Hey don't worry. I'm not...Like you said you and him...it's in the past." And off she went. 

Molly watched her for a few more moments, unable to process her thoughts. The past ten minutes had been crazy. Her win. Their kiss. Charles' new love. Too much to process at once. 

Luckily for Molly her time was filled with activity and conversation. The winners of the tournament in great demand. She split her time, that wasn't her own, between having group photos taken, receiving congratulations from other competitors, and shyly sharing loaded glances between Matt and her. 

The trip away, apart from the competitive aspect of it all, had been nerve racking for Molly. Since Amsterdam there had been a definite shift in hers and Matt's relationship. Getting definitely closer, seeking each other's company out more than usual. A definite effort on her part for once. She could see he appreciated it, and responded. She enjoyed his attentions, enjoyed being chased, and so when he finally asked her out it was with little hesitation, and a lot of talking to her inner self, that she said yes. 

Their dates had been but few. Enjoyable though, and she liked him, but they were taking things so very slowly. Matt was a traditionalist, he liked to do things the right way, and for him and Molly he figured that was slowly. To him it was about Molly the person, the woman he wanted to get to know, not about rushing to get her into bed. So even though they had seen each other several times over the last month or so, they had never reached past the goodnight peck on the cheek stage. 

It suited Molly just fine. Slow, very slow was good for her too. Not that she didn't fancy Matt, because she figured she did, but it was probably due to the fact that her heart still had a corner in it that longed for another, that wanted her to take it slow. But try she must, and that's what she was doing. 

Coming away though to Germany with him and the rest of the team, had made her anxious. There had been no impropriety about hotel rooms and sharing. Matt wouldn't do that, not without her permission, but she could see that potentially, that 'away from home feeling' might spur him to move their relationship up another level. It worried her, but did not scare her, because the truth of it was she just didn't know how she'd react when he did. 

The presentations for the winners was due to take place later on that night at a post tournament ball. A large fancy affair which all the services turned out to enjoy. Trophies, medals all to be handed out by one of the Army's old timers. A bit of a legend Molly was lead to believe. This veteran, who received accolades both on and off the court, had been an avid squash player in their time, who'd also represented England. Much loved by all it would appear. So much was to be made about tonight's awards. A mini celebrity in their mist, well relatively so in the Military and Squash world. They should be proud to be in their company. 

She'd spent hours on choosing the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, and the bag. The she'd spent the past several hours getting prepared to do justice to them all. Her hair long, straight and falling down her back. Her make up perfect with the rest of her sun kissed body. The dress hung from her and touched her in all the right places, just as it should. There were few times in Molly's life when she had really believed she was beautiful, despite frequently being told it, but tonight was one of those nights. She felt all the effort, all the hard work was worth it, both on and off the court. 

The gentle knock on the hotel room door intrigued her but didn't surprise her. A smile instantly spread across her face. She had half expected it. She opened it and felt a burst of happiness, a feeling that had been missing from her life for a while.

Matt stood there, wearing a tuxedo the way in which a man should wear one... perfectly...holding in his hands a bottle of fizz and two glasses. He looked stunning. His eyes sparkled, at the sight of her.

"You look beautiful. " He said and for the tiniest of seconds she was transported back to someone else saying those words to her. She pushed that memory away. 

He beamed right back at her as she stepped aside to let him in. They were shy around each other, reserved, but the bubbles helped. Not used to being so alone, so close, and in her hotel room to boot. He complimented her again, she accepted it from him happily, and then she complimented him. Both grinning stupidly at each other as they spoke. They talked, they moved closer to each other. Gentle gazes as they swayed closer to each other, despite the appearance of standing very still. 

Gently he stepped forward and looking down into her eyes for permission, he kissed her. Softly, ethereal. He pulled away gaging her reaction, and seeing no offence on her face he kissed her again.

Neither of their bodies touching the others, just their lips. And so they stayed like that for moments, until simultaneously both their arms reached out and gently held onto the others. Supporting each other in this new journey. The kisses that followed were sweet, tender, respectful ones. More contact than they had ever had before, and so before it became too much, before it turned into something trashy they both pulled away. Stopping for now. A look, a promise, of more to come. 

As she walked by his side into the ballroom Molly realised many things, but mainly she realised that their kisses had been nice. Enjoyable, just right, and that she might even be looking forward to more. Relieved that at no stage had her heart called out for them to stop, to demand that it was someone else's lips kissing her. Her heart had remained quiet, while her body was slowly waking up to all that was Matt. 

She caught sight of Jacki again that evening. Surrounded by men, holding court, but there was no sign of Charles. She hadn't expected him to be there, but was relieved even so. She had thought however about Jacki a lot that afternoon as she'd got ready, but since their kisses, since he'd entered her room there had been no more thoughts about her at all. 

Yet now watching her Molly was curious. She found she was a RAF nurse, an officer, very experienced, and very well liked. She found no one with a bad word to say about her. The word most frequently used by others talking about her was focused. This made Molly smile. She was perfect for him then. 

She gasped as she saw the evening esteemed guest, the squash legend, make their way onto the stage. Never putting two and two together. Amazed at how it had been kept from her. Charles had always hated squash. Would never play it he said, and on some level she wondered if that was why she chose it. It was safe, away from his world. But looking up onto the stage she could see why he had avoided it. Too much competition, too much pressure. A parent so excellent in a sport, even gaining numerous England Caps, was too much for a child to live up to. Too much to fear living in the shadow of their glory, and so Charles chose never to play, and she knew why. Because there up on the stage, receiving thunderous applause from the room was his mother. Elizabeth James. Ex Queen Alexandra's Royal Army Nursing Corps. Veteran. 

Elizabeth's after dinner speech was marvellous, funny and awe inspiring. Just as Molly remembered her to be. All the time Molly listened she marvelled at how this brilliant achieving woman, who'd welcomed, and helped her so much during her time with Charles, had never mentioned her semi celebrity status once. Come to think of it neither had Charles or Edward. It was as though her accomplishments had just been expected, as they had been expected by all those in the James household. And it was then at that moment that Molly truly realised that Charles, used to achievement, would not have stopped Molly in doing the same. That his offer of marriage to her wouldn't have stopped her being brilliant. Instead her success in this family would have been encourage and welcomed. What a fool she had been. 

She watched her replacement walk up the steps onto the stage to receive the runners up accolade. She notice how animated and friendly Elizabeth was with Jacki. Guessing as Charles' new girlfriend Elizabeth would have made her welcome too, always the perfect host. There was a genuine friendship between them, Molly could see that, not just the usual prize giving banter. A pang of jealousy hit her. Her replacement had not only stolen Charles' heart, but it would seem others too. 

Eventually it was her turn. The loudest cheers of the night saved just for her. It made her blush, but so happy. Although tiny on the stage she felt like a giant. Looking out into the blackened crowd she saw no faces but knew her friends, and Matt, would be out their shouting just as loudly if not more so than the others. 

"Molly. My dear. Well done. Congratulations." Elizabeth hugged and kissed her too, above and beyond just being friendly. Crushed her into her body, Molly felt safe and loved. 

As Molly pulled back she saw tears in Elizabeth's eyes. 

"Oh Edward and I missed you." She said ever so quietly.

Molly couldn't reply. 

The prize presented, the official photos taken, they separated. Molly turning to make her way to her seat, not expecting any more of Elizabeth's time. There could be nothing more to say. Surprised though when she felt a worn hand grab her own, and pulled her back. 

"Molly. Dear. Fancy a drink?" It wasn't an offer. It was an order. Old habits die hard. 

They spent the next couple of hours solely in each other's company, save the odd interruptions from admirers. To Molly's shame she knew she was neglecting Matt, her friends, but couldn't miss this opportunity to talk to the woman who she really had started to love like a mother. 

They talked about her neighbours, the garden, Smurf, Rebecca and William. It was obvious by the way Elizabeth talked both her and Edward saw this little boy as an adoptive grandchild, and were still very much involved in their lives. They adored him and it wasn't hard to see why as Elizabeth produced picture after picture to show Molly. Looking through them, she realised her being away had meant that she had missed so much. More than she had realised. 

Molly spent lots of the time listening because that's how she wanted it to be, telling Elizabeth small details about Cyprus, only talking when asked a question, enjoying her company and listening. Never once mentioning Matt. Listening in the vain hope that Elizabeth would mention Charles, or Jacki, or them both! But Elizabeth didn't, she was careful and measured in anything she said, holding back stories, events that included him. Thinking it might have been too painful for Molly to hear, not knowing it was all Molly wanted. Eventually it was Molly who broke.

"I meat Jacki." She said and replying to Elizabeth's raised eye brow she continued. "She explained who she was and all that. She's lovely."

"Oh I see. Yes she is lovely. We've actually know her for years. A friend of the family and all that before...well before they..." Elizabeth didn't finish. For a brief moment Molly saw something that looked like pain cross her face as she remembered. Silence loomed. 

"How is he?" She asked looking away from Elizabeth as she spoke. 

"He's Charles. Oh Molly I do wish you two could talk." Elizabeth reached over and grabbed her hands. Forcing Molly to look at her. "He was broken after you..." 

She didn't again finish. Molly cut in. 

"I'm sorry. I know. It's just... I wrote him a letter you know? To late I know, a few months ago now." She shrugged her shoulders. "But I guess Elvis was right he's moved on." 

"Molly my dear. What else could he do?" Elizabeth asked. It was rhetorical, Molly knew that. 

"Don't even know if he's read it!" She whispered out 

Elizabeth was about to answer when Matt walked over and introduced himself. Claiming back Molly who he had so missed. 

Polite introductions took place, and Molly never once alluded to how close they were, and after several minutes of awkward conversation she could avoid it no longer moving away with Matt back in to the party. Leaving Molly feeling so torn. She'd wanted to stay and talk and talk about the man who had loved her so much, question his mother about every detail of his life now she wasn't in it, but she couldn't. Matt expected her company, and the truth was she needed him to help her move on. And so politely, but sadly Molly said her good byes to this special friend. 

She spent the night attentive to her friends and Matt. Enjoying the evening as best as she could, but there were too many memories flooding her mind. She tried and tried hard for Matt's sake as much of her own, even at times finding herself enjoying it. Dancing and laughing at the happy things in life, choosing for now, yet again to push away the sad memories seeing Elizabeth had stirred. 

Eventually the night came to an end. Pairing off began, some surprising some not so, of team mates as they took their leave. No one was surprised to see Matt and her leave together. Glancing behind her she saw no one was even paying them any attention. It was too busy, to full, she'd never even caught a glimpse of Elizabeth or Jacki again either. 

Gentleman like he escorted her to her room, and kissed her goodnight by the door. She had longed for another kiss all night, almost as reassurance, but he'd never given her one, almost shy around her in company. So when the kiss came she gladly accepted it, and when it stopped she accepted that too. Not wanting or needing tonight to go any faster, and further than they already had done. He brushed her lips one more time, then bid her goodnight. 

As she entered her hotel room, catching sight of their earlier champagne glasses she felt slightly lonely, and wondered what she would have done if he had asked to come in. One half of her craved some intimacy, while the other knew what she craved possibly would not be found in the caring arms of Matt. 

Slipping off her dress, taking her make up off, snuggling into her PJs she felt as though she was performing a ritual. One of letting go, but of what she was unsure of, was she letting go of her old life, or of the tentative starting of her new one? 

The gentle knock on her bedroom door really surprised her. She hadn't expected Matt to be so bold. Unsure, so unsure what to do, she half pretended to ignore it. Hoping he'd go away, that he'd presume she was sleeping. 

Yet he knocked again, and she knew that she couldn't ignore it. She couldn't just leave him alone in the corridor, trying. 

Walking to open it, she called out. 

"Just a minute." Hoping for some more time. 

She needed the time not to groom herself, but to counsel herself. She did not know what to do. Here on the other side of the door was a man, who in all intents and purpose was coming to her room in the middle of the night with one intention. That fact in itself didn't shock her, but what did was that tonight, at that very moment, she really just wished he hadn't. 

Slowly she stepped towards the door, pulling it open. Fixing a smile on her face, struggling to see how she could stop the hurt. 

He stood there, nervous. Unable to speak, just taking her in. Marking the total transformation since the last time he'd seen her. She still was so very beautiful though, tiny, almost drowned in her Winnie the Pooh PJs. Childlike, but utterly adorable. His heart lurched. 

He'd had a plan, on finally making the decision to come over, of bravely knowing what to do when he knocked on her door. A whole speech as to why she should let him in. Why he was there, but as soon as he saw her, as he stood there he forgot it all. Every word, every reason. He just knew he needed to be here.

She stared at him. Eyes wide and questioning. The surprised look on her face quickly disappeared though, and was almost instantly replaced at just looking horrified at him being there. It wasn't the response he had hoped for, though looking back he was unsure what he'd hoped for. Her stillness made him start to feel unwelcome. 

"Hi." Was all he could say. Stupid opening words. A million miles away from the ones he wanted to say, but that was all his mind would let him get out. His mouth was dry, his hands shaking. He'd never done this before. There was so much at stake. 

"Hi." She offered back, remembering herself. Then took in his demeanour. "You ok?" Molly asked. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I..." And then he stopped. "No I'm not Molly. I'm so not." 

"What you doing here?" She finally asked. 

Puzzled, he thought she know automatically why, then reasoned to himself why should she, it had always been a 'no' from him in the past. 

"I needed to see you, maybe needed to talk." He offered. 

She stepped aside and he brushed past her stepping cautiously into her room, taking in the champagne glasses and fizz from before. He stilled. Suddenly horrified this wasn't the way to do it. 

Turning to her. He cocked his head to the glasses. "Look I should go. Maybe I'm doing this all wrong." 

"No." She almost cried out. "You're not. Stay. Please. I want you to." She tried not to sound as though she was pleading, but her heart knew she was. So many doubt, questions, but the one thing she knew was that she really wanted him to stay. 

He nodded once and sat down, on the edge of her bed. 

"Christ. I'm nervous." He let out. Then blushed ashamed of sounding so weak. 

"Yeah. Me too." She sat next to him on the edge of the bed. Not touching, but still feeling his warmth close. Enjoying it. 

"I don't know how to start Molly." He turned to her imploringly. 

She held his hand, still shocked he'd the nerve to come to her. Appeared in the middle of the night and surprised her. To take a huge chance that she'd even let him in. But there again she thought maybe he really did know her more that she knew herself. Maybe he always would. 

"How about we start at the beginning." She giggled, unsure where the happiness was coming from, but suddenly realising it was coming because he was there. 

He started laughing too, such a silly typical thing for her to say. So like his Molly. His nerves were easing, he was gaining back some control of the situation he'd instigated. He looked down at his hand she was holding and smiled.

He turned to look at her, then stood. Pulling away.

"I think we should..." He began.

She stood up next to him quickly, throwing him off guard slightly. She was worried he was going to leave her.

"We should what?" She asked desperate to try.

Her eyes flicked over his face, questioning him. Imploring him. He hesitated, doubting himself, his action again. Fearing it was too much too soon.

"Look I can go if you want. If this isn't what you want." He offered to leave.

" I don't even know what it is your offering." She teased. Pushing herself closer to him.

It took all this guts, all his training to push on.

"Can I kiss you?" He hummed out, both so very close now.

"Please." Was all she said, and again memories flooded her head and heart. But this time she did not push them away.

The kiss was bruising, hard, desperate. He held her tightly, almost too tightly, but she didn't mind she held onto him just as tight. Kissed him back just as hard. Neither wanting to stop.

This was what she had been waiting for. This was right. Breathing him in, being consumed by everything about him, she knew that there was no longer any doubt. That the corner of her heart had now been silenced, in fact it now rejoiced.

Silenced because now she was being held, as though he'd never let her go again by a man she loved.

Held by the man she still loved.

She was being held by Charles.


	10. Chapter 10

**Steadfast**

**Chapter10**

It was strange, she thought, to feel so happy while so confused and so guilty. Conflicting feelings that would perhaps change, alter, disappear almost as soon as the reality of her world once again took over. Pushing her dreams aside again. 

The flight back to Cyprus the next morning had come too soon for Molly. The company of Matt, her friends, her team mates were all unwelcome intrusions. She was tired and her mind all over the shop, so much that had needed to be said, had been left unsaid, so much that had needed to be decided, had still remained undecided. She therefore wished for some solitude, for some calmness, but all she got was chaos. 

The night before replayed out in her mind like it was on an automatic loop. Nothing she could do would stop it, even if she had wanted it too, and she hadn't. The memories were bitter sweet but vital for her to hold on to if she was to keep up her hope.

It had been Molly who had broken the magical spell. They had kissed, deeply and with such conviction, and they had held each other for glorious minutes before she eventually and reluctantly pulled herself away and told him to stop. Told him what they were doing wasn't right, wrong even, unfair. Reality had kicked in. 

She saw the pain flood across his face, obviously feeing her rejection once again. That she had again done it to him and it surprised him. The passion, the emotion in their kiss had not prepared him for her destroying words. And so to save himself, to save face, to be the gentleman he always was, he turned to go. 

"Stop. Please." She cried out. Surprising them both. 

He did though as she bid, and he turned. He was desperate. Willing to take any chance she offered. Looking at her though questionably with his doubt filled eyes. 

"What you really doing here Charles?" She asked simply. 

"Mum. Needed a chaperone. Dad's not well enough to travel at the mo. So I came." Standing straight tall, arms folded under his pits. A default position she had learned he always adopted when protecting himself. His explanation was stilted, but understandable to her. Knowing Elizabeth would have interfered from the first moment she saw her. "She told me you were here." 

"Oh! Ok, but I mean what are you really doing here, as in here, here, Charles." Sweeping her hand around her hotel room by way of needing further explanation. "Why?" 

"Cause I missed you. Needed to see you." Honestly he replied to her questions. He stepped closer to her. Sensing a change, a softening, feeling glimmers of hope, he opened his stance. Hands now folded together in front of him, almost prayer like, making him appear vulnerable. 

But still she needed more from him.

"Why?" Again she asked. "Why now? After so long?" 

"Cause I've been a bloody fool, and because I never stopped loving you!" He offered, the words rushing from him confessional like. Stepping even closer to her now. Their eyes held each other's, delighting rightly or wrongly in seeing each other again. He moved his hands up and gently caressed her cheek. 

Now she was vulnerable. It was a touch she remembered so well, a hold she almost melted into. Then her world, her life as it was now, returned and she remembered why she had pulled away from him only moments before.

She slapped his hands away with the smallest amount of force. They dropped heavily to his side, he was once again startled. Her actions had been unexpected. 

"What about Jacki?" She asked, appalled at how they had both forgotten the other players in their love game. 

"Jacki? What about her?" He was confused. Rejection screaming out to him. Feeling a fool, his mind starting to panic he had read it all wrong. He had left it too late. He had lost her. 

When he'd collected his mother earlier on in the night from her function her first words excitedly told were of Molly being present at the ball too. She'd briefly mentioned Jacki too, in passing only, before urging Charles to get himself back to the hotel to see Molly. To take the chance that Lady Luck had given him. He listened excited, and hadn't for once needed to be told twice. It was fate, and it was perfect. 

She stared at him. Her eyes wide with disbelief. Horrified at his total dismissal of Jacki. He obviously not appreciating that Molly knew about them. That she knew he'd moved on. Wondering in the change to the man she loved, the man who always used to be so loyal. That he now stood here and denied his new loves existence. She pressed on. 

"Oh my God Charles. Don't. I know about you and her. She told me. So what we've just done. It's not right!" She cried out. 

"What? Molly. There is no me and her. Why? What did she say, what made you think that?" He laughed out, pleased for some clarity in her actions. Keen to clear up her confusion. 

"There isn't? You're not?" She said. And he raised his eyes in query looking at her. "Nothing. It will keep." She mumbled. Uncomfortable in his tender gaze.

He returned himself back down sitting on the bed. Feeling exhausted already with the situation, this was more emotion than he had dealt with since she'd left him. His legs stepped apart as he hung his head down and stared at his feet. Not knowing where to start and unable to look at her while he confessed. 

"I read your letter. Weeks ago. Was too much of a coward at first, then suddenly one day I just knew. I needed you back by my side, in my life. No matter what way, or how. I'll take it any way you want 'us' to be. I just want you back. I missed you." 

Still he hadn't looked up, his head hung low. His body still, raw from the honesty he'd just expressed. 

Sitting on the chair past the bed, away from him she let out a huge sigh. Watching him closely. Aware of how fragile the whole situation was. 

"Shit." Was all she nervously offered. Knowing once again she was in the wrong. 

He threw his head up at that. 

"Shit? Molly I've just poured my heart out. Was hoping for something a bit more than 'shit'!" He was exasperated. He was lost. 

In his mind this was all so easy. She had said in her letter that she still loved him, and he hoped that she'd welcome him back with open arms. It was that belief that had found him driving through the late night German traffic to turn up at her hotel room. Just to see her. To win her back. Yet here he was, here they were, and it was all so different. So unwelcoming. So hard. 

He looked at her determinedly, needing her to have total understanding about how he felt. 

"I'm not with Jacki. Never have been. Her and Elvis... well that another story... but not me and her. Never." He looked as a smile crossed her face. "There no me and anyone Molly... just you. Always you. " 

"Shit. I can't." She repeated. "I'm sorry. I'm kind of...there's someone else...only been on a few dates... early days." She didn't need to finish her sentence. The few words already hurting him, she saw it instantly. He understood. "I didn't think you wanted me." She offered by way of a final explanation. 

His eyes flew over to the champagne bottle and glasses again. Realisation dawning on him. Standing, knowing this was his time to finally go. He was too late. 

"You're seeing someone?" He barked out. Too sharply, he watched her wince.

Molly just nodded. Tears starting to sting the back of her eyes. She knew how this was going to end. He was after all still the loyal principled Charles she'd always loved.

"Right. Sorry. I just... I'm sorry. Look let's forget about it." He turned quickly and grabbed the door handle. "The letter... thank you. I understand." And then he was gone. 

As quickly as he had come into her life, he had left it again. As quickly as she knew she still loved him, she knew she always would. 

The remaining hours of the early morning Molly sat waiting. Hoping he'd come back, not daring to sleep, even if she could, she wouldn't have just in case she missed him. Wanting to explain, wanting to help wipe the look of pain that he wore on his face as he left her for one last time. She sat watching the dawn, a new day, a new start, but she was alone and sadder than she had been for a long time.

Eventually though the knock she had been waiting for came and hoping her waiting had paid off she bounded over to her door, hopefully, she yanked it open. He stood there smiling, fresh, happy, expectant, but also startled by the suddenness of it all. She was shocked again by his presence, by him turning up the second time at her door. But it wasn't who'd she had wanted, hoped, would be there, but she knew that the man in front of her shouldn't be hurt by her. It was Matt and she had to tell him the truth. 

The next few hours were all a game, a role she played. Keeping up appearances. Keeping her own counsel. Transfers, flights, hangovers all meant it possible that Molly and Matt although were together had little to say to each other. Their conversations general and inclusive of each other and of the team. Feigning sleep whenever she could, a way of escaping the reality she didn't want to face. Once or twice she looked over and saw confusion pass over Matt's face when she caught him looking at her. Knowing her intention was not to hurt him, but that she totally was. 

"I'm sorry." He said as he handed her bags out of the car. Their journey back from the airport had almost been in silence, and now he was dropping her off outside the accommodation block. It was awkward. It was unavoidable. 

She turned looking at him, checking he hadn't done anything stupid since they got from the car. Puzzled by his first words to her in a long time. 

"What for?" She asked and then realised. The look on his face said it all. 

"I don't know really but I've obviously done something wrong. You've hardy spoken to me." He moved closer, wanting to keep the conversation private. "Was it last night? Did I go too far?" 

She smiled, knowing that loving this man could be so easy. If only she had a free heart, but she didn't despite trying, she knew that now. Without a doubt her heart still belonged to Charles. 

"No you've done nothing. It's just... complicated. Something happened, and it's not fair." She gently touched his arm, a wrong move as she saw a smile at her touch cross his face. Hopeful. 

"Let's go in." And she led the way to her room, conscious this was the first time he'd ever been there, and probably the last. 

Standing nervously she turned to him. 

"What's not fair Molly?" He asked. Straight to the point. Direct. Sensing his heart, that was starting to fall for Molly, was about to get broken. 

"Me. You. Us. It's just... I can't." She then whispered, unable to look at him in the eyes. "There's someone else." The second time in less than twenty four hours she had said those words, each time meaning something so different. 

"Someone else?" He asked amazed. He known Molly's life for nearly a year now, what she did, who she socialised with, both in and out of work. There was no one else, only him. "Someone else? Who? Here?" 

"Not here. No. Back home. Before I came here. A long time ago, but I haven't got over him, and I don't think I will." She tried to explain. "I just still love him." 

"Oh." He remained silent for moments, watching her now as she looked directly at him. Waiting. "So does he love you?" Matt asked, holding out for a glimmer of hope that he could change her mind. He wasn't expecting to beg, wasn't used to it but with Molly he felt there could be something special to gain in changing her mind. 

"I don't know. Really. I think maybe he does, but there's a lot of..." She couldn't finish. She knew Charles had said he had never stopped loving her, but she wondered if he could ever forgive her. Could he forgive enough for them to ever move on. 

"Maybe? Maybe?" Matt merely nodded his head, accepting that for now. Turning, knowing today was not the day to fight for her however, he sadly smiled at her and without another word left. 

She sat there, in her room all alone, emotionally numb, and spent when he'd gone. Paralysed almost because of the sad feelings that were running through her mind. The small degree of sadness at losing the thrill of the new journey she may have taken with Matt, sad because she had hurt him, and sad because despite the kiss she still had no idea where her and Charles stood. 

"Oh for God's sake. I could bloody knock your heads together. You're a grown man Charles. Sort it out." 

Those were the departing words of his loving mother after he dropped her at home on their return back to the UK. He'd finally confessed to her that he'd been to see Molly. He patiently explained, despite her numerous interruptions that he'd told Molly nothing had changed in his feelings, but that Molly had moved on. He tried to hold his feelings of disappointment back, hoping to fool his mother but he didn't. She offered her sympathies, her love, then she scolded him like the child he used to be. His mother was less than impressed at how he had just left, not fought his case, and had not tried to win his love back. Despite the efforts he had made, in her mind they were not enough and blamed Charles totally for the whole mess. 

He left his disapproving parents as quickly as he could. Feeling their derision towards his failing love life, but not resenting their interference. Molly had been very dear to them, and they almost viewed his inability to win her back as though he was failing them too.

The journey home, back to his new home, his new camp was long and slow. But a welcome break from their opinions.

He was heading back to the new life he had achieved. Back to his new section, back his new role, his new life. The one he made after Molly left him.

After Molly he'd purposefully moved on. Moved on most definitely professionally, but not he realised emotionally. Finding he was too close to two section, too many memories and also desperate to move up the ranks. To prove himself. No family, no ties stopping him. The one good thing he soon realised of being so heartlessly dumped by Molly, was he reasoned that he became more focused and gained that much sort after promotion sooner than expected. Now he was Major James. Professionally happy, his work world and everything in it sorted. 

His drive back gave him time to think. To think over a subject that rarely was out of his mind. His heart never stopped wanting her. Despite others trying, despite obvious attentions from his new female colleagues he never once stopped wanting Molly. His anger towards her soon died, it had only been superficial, and the longing remained. To begin with it had been her smile, her eyes, her giggle that haunted him, but recently that all changed. Now it was her letter, the letter she wrote to him, the words on those pages now danced around in his head daily.

The letter she wrote had only burned a hole in his pocket for all of a few hours before he tore it open. Almost throwing Elvis out at his camp as he dropped him off, in a desperate hurry to be alone, to read it. His pretence to his mother that he'd read it one day, had been exactly that, a pretence. He knew as soon as he'd touched the paper, seen her writing he'd not delay in reading its contents. 

His heart however broke all over again reading it. She was frank and concise. Telling him all. Her life before the Army she wrote had not been easy. He'd known that but to a much lesser extent to what she now confessed.

Her relationship with her parents had always been a difficult one. He'd know that too, but the reason why never really explained by her. He'd just presumed a battles of wills over the years had just soured any relationship. He never really pried. He'd never met them, they didn't factor in her life, never effected them, so his ignorance remained. 

The letter told him the full story however. Of how Molly's parents disgracefully blamed her for all their bad luck, bad decisions in their lives. Beginning when her mother, in finding out she was pregnant just before staring a place at college, was forced to drop out, force to abandon her dreams at 17 and was forced to marry the father. 

Molly's father, equally as young, resented his new responsibilities, his imposed life. The end of his fun. Molly stated that, according to her parents, she had been a difficult baby, neither parents enjoying her, and soon resented the impact this unplanned child, unsettled child, had on their lives. Both families had resolutely tied them together when they so both had wished to go their separate ways, and Molly soon became the focus of all their spite. 

From a very early age, Molly continued, her mother frequently told her that because of Molly their lives were rubbish. If she hadn't been born her mother would have gone to college, had a life, and made something of herself instead of being trapped in an emotionally abusive marriage. And so Molly believed she was never good enough for anyone. Anyone she tied herself with in life would only be sucked down into misery and ruined just like she had done to her parents. 

Over the years, leaving home, something she had almost been forced to do, Molly started to shake off their low opinions. Sticking up for herself. Making her own way. Never repairing her relationship with her parents though, because now instead of blaming her they resented her even more, as she was doing something they had never done. She was making a success of her life, and was happy. 

Molly explained that the Army, her only real option as the family home door was slammed shut in her face, made her, saved her, and slowing step by step she started to believe. She started to know for the first time how good it felt to achieve, to succeed, and that what it felt like to be appreciated because of it. Relationships, marriage, family, were only things that she felt could get in the way of it all. Those things would stop her from being who she could be, and could potentially turn her life, and her partner's into the self loathing pity fest that her parents had invested in. And so, she explained, although she loved Charles she said 'no', to save them both. It was for the best she had believed and for ever hurting him she was truly sorry. 

At that point of the letter Charles had had to stop. Take a break, pour himself a whisky. He hurt. He hurt because of the memories of her breaking his heart, but he hurt for the woman he still loved being broken by those who should have loved her first and the most. 

Returning to the letter, he found Molly's apologies continued. Accepting that how she did it was wrong, why she did it... at the time she believed she was right. But now looking back, Charles was the first one she'd ever let in, the first one she'd ever trusted, the first one who loved and believed in her in a way she never imagined. It had scared her. 

So when he asked, and asked again and again, it was all too soon. Her mind, her self confidence, her self belief, self opinion, far far behind the beautiful loving ones Charles had of her. She'd needed time to catch up. Needed time to feel the value of his love and commitment to her. The proposals were too soon, and at the time all she felt she could do, before she ruined him like her parents said she would, was to leave him. But never, she feared to stop loving him. 

He had read and re read the letter over the next weeks. Unsure what to do, where to go with it. He loved her, but feared that she'd never have that belief in her to make them an 'us' again, despite writing that she still loved him. And so for the first time in his life Charles James was an utter coward. He did nothing, except every night alone he thought of her. His thoughts every night, every waking hour revolved around plans to contact her, re start a friendship, let her know he understood. But in the cold light of the morning, the coward in him won out, and he did nothing. 

He did nothing until that night his mother had told him she was in Germany too, a few miles away from him, and then he sprung into action. Became brave, went to see her. Unplanned and unprepared and utterly convinced it was the right thing to do. Kissing her felt like home, lazy Sunday mornings in bed, slow walks in a park on a summers evening, and his heart started to beat again in a way it had stopped doing when she left. It beat again to the rhythm of Charles and Molly's love story, in sync, and lasting forever. It beat strong, as its beat was determined, right up until she told him she was involved with someone else. Then his heart beat faltered and told his brain it was time for him to run, and so he did. 

Now days since his retreat he still didn't know if he could ever allow the hope he'd felt, the happiness, the togetherness when he was with her back into his heart again. He didn't know if there would ever be a way back for him and Molly. Both too determined, to steadfast, in protecting themselves, and each other against the pain they could inflict.


	11. Chapter 11

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 11**

"Right. Elvis is coming with Charles. They'll be here in an hour. So Smurf you'd better get going." Elizabeth shouted out. Organising the troops. Pushing Smurf out of the door.

"Are you sure about this?" Rebecca asked and instantly regretted it. 

"Of course I am. It's the only way." Elizabeth flashed back. Then she stormed out affronted her plan had been challenged, turning her mini wrath on to her poor unsuspecting husband. 

Rebecca had doubts though. It was meant to be a fun day. William's second birthday party. A little celebration with only a few family members, but Elizabeth had got hold of things, had a vision and it all suddenly started to snowball. Rebecca and Smurf still unsure how they had been duped into saying 'yes'. But they had. 

Elizabeth had planned it perfectly. Both her and Edward adored William and delighted in any excuse they had to see him. The birthday party was their treat, and as she looked around her garden filled with food, decorations and slowly filling up with friends and family even she had to admit that she may have gone over the top. But right at that moment she really didn't care, if her plan succeeded it would be worth it. She just needed the main players to turn up as expected. 

Charles, who had avoided his mother these past couple of months was travelling up with Elvis. Both essentially having plans, made for them by her, to stay the weekend. Both knowing it was a three line whip from Elizabeth that ensured they had to attend, no arguments. Reluctantly, neither of them having any other decent excuse she would accept, agreed. Both too seasoned soldiers to know when they were out manoeuvred. 

So when they did arrive and saw the throng of people in her back garden they were hopeful they wouldn't be missed and could after doing the rounds slip off somewhere a bit more fun, and a lot less noisy. Charles of course loved William, his Godson, but there were limits on having his first free weekend in a month be monopolised by a two year old and all his squealing friends. He attended today out of Godfather duty, and the fact he had no choice as he was still in his mother's bad books, so saying no was not an option. 

It had been over two months since he'd last seen Molly, two months with no words from her, and no words from him. She was involved, he'd reasoned, she had made that clear. She had moved on. He needed to leave her alone. Accept what it was... over. 

But Elizabeth he knew was having none of it, and he suspected her famous meddling reputation would again be put to the test. He knew though not the day or the hour. But essentially he knew his mother too well, if not her plans, and so unbeknown to him she started masterminding a plan to get Charles and Molly talking again. 

Walking through the arrivals doors at the airport she saw him straight away. Beaming at her. It had been so long and she had missed him. Running to hug him despite the trolley and bags she had in tow. 

"Smurf." She cried and wrapped her arms around him. Her mate, her best mate who she hadn't seen for over a year. A whole year. The longest they had ever gone without seeing each other. Both missing each other. 

"Alright Mols. Bloody good to see ya." He replied back equally delighted. "Shitting hell Mols how long you staying for?" He eyed her bags. 

"There's only three." Slapping his arm at his cheek. "Bit of a change in me plan though. Might gonna be here for a few weeks more." She answered back, telling him for now all he needed to know. 

The truth was Molly was hoping to be home for a lot longer than the extended weekend Smurf and Rebecca thought she was here for. She had things to sort out. 

Things to sort out that had started with that phone call. It had been several days since she had returned from Germany that she had received the call. The familiar number flashing up on her screen. Panic setting in as she went to answer. The determined strains of Elizabeth James' voice on the other end of the phone, friendly and reassuring her nothing was wrong with Charles. Once Molly was calm they talked, they talked in the way Molly and Charles should have been talking, but just couldn't. Both too stubborn. With Elizabeth however Molly just didn't have the choice... you talked or she did. 

And so over the past two months there had been a few lengthy telephone calls between these two important women in Charles' life, without him even knowing it. Elizabeth proud that she had succeeded where Charles had failed, she knew what was in Molly's heart and was going to interfere her hardest to make sure Charles did too. 

William's birthday party was the best plan she could come up with. And so Elizabeth set her plan in motion, with Molly's full knowledge and total appreciation. Operation 'reunite' had started. Elizabeth would ensure Charles' attendance. All Molly had to do was turn up. 

Molly's life in Cyprus still remained good, if not slightly awkward around Matt at times, but they avoided any unpleasantness. She could tell he was still trying with her, not wanting to spoil the friendship, that maybe he was still hopeful he would win out in the battle for her heart. But Molly knew he never would. Knowing it had long been won and given to someone else, and it was time she had to believe in all that Charles believed in...that she was worth being loved and especially was worthy of his love. 

Her small but definite believe in her self worth was the turning point and why she so willingly colluded with Elizabeth in her plan. Excitedly therefore she had started off on her journey back to England that morning with expectations. A whole three weeks leave ahead of her, a whole new game to play as far as Charles and her were concerned. 

But, now, suddenly she was nervous. Smurf chatted constantly, excited she was back in his company and filled her in, caught her up with his life. And even though it was great to be in his company again, she only half listened to all his tales. Her nerves biting through her senses. 

"So how is he?" She suddenly turned and asked. A huge beam spread across Smurf's face. 

"He's great Mols. You'll see so much of a change in him." Smurf answered back instantly. 

"Is he happy?" She asked, the question she always asked about the man she loved. 

"Think so. Well we try you knows Mols!" Smurf looked slightly confused. "Get this though Mols he's only got himself a girlfriend. Rebecca reckons that it's true love." He laughed at that thought. 

Horrified Molly wonder just how her and Elizabeth had got it all wrong. Starting to feel foolish that she had expected so much. 

"A bleeding girlfriend." She shot back. Startling Smurf. 

"Well yeah. You know. As much as she can be a girlfriend at two." He replied. Looking at her with concern. 

Molly stared back at Smurf. 

"Smurf mate just who the fuck are you on about?" She asked. 

"Well William of course. Who else?" He was confused, even more so when Molly burst out laughing at his reply. A happy laugh. 

The walk up the steps to his parent's house at Royal Crescent was so familiar, and brought back happy memories that caused her to smile. The door flew open before she had the chance to knock. Soon she was enveloped by a huge tight hug from Edward and Elizabeth while Smurf dealt with her bags. 

"God it's good to see you Molly." Hugged Edward all too aware of his wife's plan. Externally he spoke of his dislike for it. Internally, secretly he was delighted. 

"Charles." His mother screamed into the house, after hugging Molly and checking she was ok. "Come here. Look who it is." 

Still Molly hadn't made it into the house, standing on the doorstep answering a hundred questions they threw at her. Her bags had been unceremoniously dumped in the hallway by Smurf as he went in search of his son and the party. Leaving the three of them talking and waiting. 

Molly giggled as she heard the clatter, followed by several swear words. Knowing exactly whose mouth they had come from. Excited. 

"Mother. Why are there hundreds of fucking bags all over your hall way." He shouted as he bent over to rub his bruised shins. "I nearly broke my leg." 

"Language and stop shouting Charles, and say 'hello' to our guest." Was all her reply. 

His parents stepped aside from Molly just as he looked up. His face blinded by the confusion. 

"Hello Charles." Was all she said, but smiled at him so beautiful it made him straighten up instantly. 

"Molly? Hello." He stood tall. Straight and very unsure. 

Suddenly they were alone. His parents tactfully disappearing with mumbles of people to see, things to do. 

"You're here? Why are you here?" He asked. 

She giggled gently watching him. Unintentional he'd used the same words as she had used all those months ago. And still they were said with as much confusion as before.

Taking a deep breath and a huge leap of faith she began. 

"Because I missed you. Needed to see you." She answered hoping he'd remember those were the very words he'd said to her only months ago. "That and I bloody love birthday cake." She joked. 

He smiled but remained quiet. Molly continued. 

"That, and cause I never stopped loving you either. There's no one else, not now, not ever. Only you." The words weren't rehearsed, they were just the truth. 

She planned on a calm mature first meeting. Somewhere quiet. Where they could talk. She'd never expected it to be standing on his mother's doorstep, for all passers by to see, to hear. But in the end she saw it just didn't matter. Her words moved him enough to walk over to her and drag her into his body. Clinging onto her. Holding her tight. 

"Ditto Molly. Bleeding ditto." 

They walked silently through that hall, past her bags and into the garden. No words just holding each other's hands and throwing happy glances at each other. As they reached the garden they separated. Not because they wanted to but because they had too. Molly had been away for long. They were too many friends who needed, too many old faces that wanted to catch up with her, oblivious that she was only here for one person. Charles. 

Their afternoon may have been spent separated but that didn't stop them sharing something between themselves. Stolen long loving glances, saying almost as much in those looks as words would have done. Both politely passing the time away, but answering when asked questions, but both desperate for the time to come when they could talk alone. 

She loved the whole afternoon finding it exciting, thrilling. His crushing of her, holding her into him was just as it should have been, just how she remembered, tight, strong and as though he'd never let her go. And their dancing around each other, playing at having fun apart only added to the excitement of it all. Dutiful to her friends. The perfect Aunty to William. All done half heartedly, her mind was on Charles, but she didn't worry she knew her time would come, their time would come. They had waited out before. 

Excited about today, and oh so nervous. She had planned this 'date' more than she ever done so before. Spending hours choosing what to wear for today. Needing her clothes to help with the confidence she needed boasting. She considered him in everything she wore. Knowing he loved her hair down, knowing he used to love her just as she was. So her hair hung down that day and shone in the summer sunshine, her almost make up free tanned skin complimented her dress, which fell down her body. The odd summer breeze fluttering the fabric, as though Mother Nature was helping her, allowing him to glimpse her curves that were tantalisingly exposed every now and then. She felt his eyes on her everywhere she went, and it felt good. She knew she had chosen well. The thrill of the chase very much worth enduring the surge of desire she was feeling in the pit of her stomach. A long lost feeling, but such a comfortable familiar one where Charles was concerned. 

"Is it moist enough for you?" His voice was low, the timbre in it delighting her as she felt his breath tickle her ear. He'd dipped his head low and close. One hand softly sweeping her hair to one side as he traced his lips briefly over her exposed neck The words he spoke laced with sensuality, surprising her and almost making her choke on the mouthful of birthday cake she had taken. 

Turning, looking at him with equally loaded eyes she merely replied. 

"Yes." 

But it wasn't the words that caused him to blush. The apprentice now becoming the master. Molly turned the tables on him as she delectably, slowly took another mouthful of the creamy cake and pulled the fork teasingly from her mouth. Her eyes dancing with desire. 

"Fucking hell Molly." He practically growled, only softly enough for her to hear. He shifted uncomfortable where he stood. 

Their eyes never left one another. The atmosphere charged, almost x-rated between them considering they were at a two year olds birthday party. 

"Do you think we could...?" He looked around. Wondering about the etiquette of leaving. Then suddenly curious as to what Molly had planned, had expected. "That is if you want to?" He added. Not wanting to rush her. He'd never rush her again. 

"Yes. Yes. Yes please. Soon." Her eagerness so obvious, had she cared she may have been embarrassed at just how obvious it was in her answer. Then turned, looking behind her for a means of escape. When she turned back to him he was walking away. She followed, instantly, missing him. 

"I take it these are all yours Dawes." He laughed as he stood in front of her bags. 

She grinned, and watched as how without asking her he lifted several up under his arms and walked towards his car. 

She again followed and smiled. Loving how easy this was. She wanted him, and he wanted her. 

"You're on leave right? Mum said. Three weeks?" She nodded at him. "Then you're coming to mine, and..." He moved closer to her, arms free now of bags, able to hold her. "We're going to have the best bloody three weeks of our lives. Think we deserve it." 

He hadn't presumed, he hadn't expected anything, she knew that but her willingness to go with him spoke volumes. They had turned a page, once on separate ones, now very much on the same one. 

She reached up and placed her lips onto his, barely touching them.

"Well we'd better start as we mean to go on." 

And she kissed him softly, he responded instantly holding her once again to him. Each of them exploring each other's taste, passion and hunger for each other in that so long waited for kiss.

As she always did, as he knew she would, she fell asleep almost within minutes of them setting off. Numerous 'good byes', and 'thank yous' and eventually they were alone. Alone, happy and in Molly's case definitely unable to keep her eyes open. He smiled over at her sleeping form, head nodding to the motion of the car. He was so happy. He didn't mind. He had meant what he said that night in Germany. He just wanted her in any way she would give herself to him. 

The hours past and soon he pulled up to his driveway. Returning to his reasonably sized detached Army house that came with his role as Major. Wondering what Molly would think of his half furnished, half lived in house. Much like his life without her, many rooms empty and forgotten. He felt a bit shamed of it all now. It wasn't welcoming, or even homely. It was just a few rooms he eventually came home to each night after the end of his working day.

"Shit. Did I fall asleep?" She murmured.

He learnt over and unclipped her seat belt. Smirking at her sleepy face.

"Yes. Funny that. You never used to." And they both laughed at his words, knowing them to be so untrue. "Don't worry though Dawes after all this time I've learnt how to amuse myself on my own."

She locked onto his eyes catching his maddening blush as he realised the double entendre the he had just spoken.

Laughing aloud at his obvious discomfort.

"Is that right mate?"

"Piss off Dawsey." He grinned back at her. The use of her special nick name making her smile, loving it coming from his lips once more.

As she stepped into his home. She knew straight away it wasn't that... a home... it was where he had to come to at night cause sleeping in his office wasn't allowed. She felt guilty, remorseful, his other flat had been so comfortable and welcoming. They had spent many a happy time there. He had been happy there, with her, together.

"Well?" He asked nervously, desperate to please her. He watched as she poked her head into another empty room. The kitchen with a small sofa in the only room downstairs he utilised.

"Bit too much furniture if you ask me. Too cluttered." She joked and then seeing him cast his eyes down in shame, she tried to appease him. "Guess you haven't been here long? There's time yet isn't there?"

He moved towards her, wanting to hold her. Wanting her to see that nowhere felt like home, like anywhere he wanted to invest in, spend time in, if she wasn't there.

"Been her nearly nine months now." He said reaching up and holding her face in his hands. "I've missed you. So much. Everything is just nothing without you." And he bent down to kiss her.

She allowed a brief kiss before pulling away. Nodding to him. Understanding. Her life too without him had also been a half life lived, although on the outside she seemed to have tried a bit harder than he had.

"I'd love a cuppa." She asked gently walking off towards the kettle.

He followed and stood behind her while she hunted in cupboards for cups. Holding on to her forearms, pressing his front to her back. They stay like that for moments before he felt her shudder in his hold.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Desperate for the answer to be a truthful nothing.

She spun round and held onto his arms, pressed up against his chest.

"I'm sorry. I was a fool. I'm not saying that I'm ready for everything just yet, but I want to try." She looked away shamed at how she had behaved.

"Molly. Molly. Look at me." And she dutifully raised her eyes. "It's Ok. I meant what I said. I just want you." He replied as earnestly as he felt it.

"Cyprus. Matt. Well I never...couldn't. Missed you. Then after I wrote the letter and you never replied I thought that was it. You'd never want me again." A small pitiful sob escaped as she stopped speaking.

"God no Molly. Shit I'm sorry. I was a coward. And you were so brave. The letter, I should have replied, called you, but I just didn't know how. Too scared, but I always wanted you. Always"

"I know. I understand. I've got issues, but I'll try. Honest." And she hid again in his chest. "Would completely understand if you want nothing to do with me. I'm a bit of a nut job at times."

She then looked up with such sadness that instead of happiness flooding through his mind, that the girl he loved was here giving him a second chance, all he felt was sadness. Sadness at their time apart, sadness that she hurt, because of him, because of how she felt about herself. 

"One step at a time yeah? There's no hurry. We'll do this slowly. Just never run away from me again. Please." He asked with seriousness.

"I promise. It's you Charles. Always you. There hasn't been any one else. Matt and I well we never... I didn't... you know. I couldn't." And then she broke down and sobbed completely in his arms. Her time of being brave was over. She just wanted to have the cathartic cry she'd held onto for nearly two years.

Eventually she calmed down, he would have held her for longer, but she was exhausted and desperately longed for her cuppa. Then leaving the arms that now thankfully seemed to constantly envelope her, she headed for the shower, leaving him bereft of her company, but knowing he'd promised to follow her upstairs in a while.

Stepping from the shower she stopped dead in her tracks. Watching him make the bed in the spare room with clean linen after Elvis' last stay. Her bags already in the room, waiting for her.

"Feel better?" He asked. "I'll do us something to eat in a minute." He continued not noticing her sad face.

She hadn't expected them to jump right into bed as soon as they were alone, but she had expected it at some time. Yet here he was making the spare room bed up for her taking that option firmly off the table. Aware now that he obviously had meant that they were to take things slow. That she had so hurt him and he must still need time to be certain before they went any deeper. 

Her silence worried him.

"You ok?" He asked. Finishing off his tasks.

"Mmmm. Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" She felt foolish, standing in front of him wearing only a dressing gown, vulnerable. Her expectations so badly let down.

"I'll just." Dipping his head and he headed out of the bedroom door. Leaving as quick as he could. Closing it behind him as he walked downstairs. Amazed at the Herculean effort it had taken to walk away from her beautiful, fresh and semi naked form. He was doing the right thing he convinced himself. She was still so delicate, her crying earlier had showed him that. He couldn't push her. This had to be done her way, despite his desperate need for it all just to be as it used to be.

Despite how comfortable they had been earlier, their moods had changed. Both acutely aware why. Both having reflected over the past as well as the here and now, making them once again feel cautious. Their evening meal was therefore uncomfortable. Both tried, and both wondering if they had made a monumental mistake in their new found honestly and expectations. Maybe they had both independently thought, that no matter how much you wanted it you just couldn't go back. That time didn't heal. Charles still scared, reluctant, as was Molly, yet sitting opposite him and despite everything feeling this was where she needed to be she knew had to try.

"Charles? Can you forgive me?" She asked. She needed to hear those words from him.

He dropped his fork and stared at her, blindsided by her question.

"There's nothing really to forgive. I mean... well... you hurt me. We both really fucked it up, but the letter... it helped...it explained." He replied. Hoping it was enough. His heart too full to say it all at once.

"You haven't really answered my question there mate." She laughed nervous of his omission. "I didn't want to hurt you. All I wanted was to make you happy really, but yeah I know messed up."

He stretched his hand out across the table.

"Molly. I do forgive you. Always had. I thought it was you who didn't want me. I mean well...you just walked...then the letter. Then I just knew there was nothing to forgive." He saw as a small sad smile passed over her face. "Can you forgive me?" He asked.

"You? Why you? You did nothing except be bleeding perfect." She stuttered out.

"I didn't come after you for a start." He admitted sadly. "Not then, not after the letter, not after Germany. I should have. But I didn't."

She squeezed his hands, both of hers now being held by his as he drew invisible words across her palms.

"Do you think what we broke we can mend?" She asked with an edge of fear in her voice.

"Yes." He returned. Instantly, never now more sure. "Absolutely. We have to fix the little things before we can fix the big things though. You taught me that a long time ago." He watched her smile. "I'm sorry I should have been there for you more. I never questioned your relationship with your parents, I should have asked."

"Can we stop? The blaming. The begging? The who did what or didn't? Move on?" She offered. "Please?"

He nodded silently and they both watched their hands. This time it was a comfortable silence between them. The atmosphere relaxed. They still had so much talking to do, but at least they had started. It felt right, like their new beginning had finally began.

Eventually, feeling secure again in his love she asked. She needed to know one more thing.

"Charles. Do you still want me? You know as in..."

His eyes shot up. She never finished, he knew what she was asking.

"Course I bloody do." He quietly exclaimed. "So much that it hurts."

She stood and held out a hand to him. Smiling a bashful sigh. Joy bouncing around her body.

"Come on then." She said as he too stood and held onto his hand. "Let's move my bags from that crappy spare room back into yours." She continued. Pulling him to follow her.

"Molly. Are you sure? What about taking it slow." He half heartedly offered. His feet though not listening to his brain, only his heart, as they climbed the stairs.

She turned, and pulled him towards her, pulling his arms around her waist. On a stair higher than him she could nestle her face into his neck, breathing him in. Muffling her next words, but making his skin dance at the feeling of her breath across his skin.

"I think we've waited out long enough? Don't you Bossman?"

And with those words he was undone, his resolve vanished. To hell with taking it slow. Here was the woman he'd wanted for close to two years, just couldn't have, offering her heart to him once again.

Scooping her up in his arms laughing at the beautiful half shrieks of delight and protest she gave, he carried her to his bed and back into his heart once again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 12**

Here she was again saying goodbye. Wishing that things were different, but it was finally time for her to go. She'd hardly spoken a word to Smurf all the way to the airport, almost a reverse journey to one she has taken three weeks ago.

Except now instead of excitement and nervousness all she felt was sadness. Still she sat and listened to his woes, his concerns and gossip, but yet again she paid him very little heed. Her mind still very much on Charles.

They had parted hours ago, earlier that morning. Him repeating again, as he held her, his regret that he couldn't drive her to the airport himself. Too tied up with work, feeling as though he was letting her down. She sighed at the thought of his guilt, in truth she understood, but would have loved nothing more than to have spent several more moments in his company in his arms. And so she sadly said good bye to him, again. Both wondering if, when, how, they'd see each other again.

It was true plans had been made, but tentative ones, so much depended on others where their future was now concerned. Her time in Cyprus nowhere near close to finishing. Potential months left of her posting out there. However there was some hope. The three weeks together had shown them, had shown them both was that they very definitely did want a future together and knew this separation; this period of waiting out was only a slight blip on their way. 

Their time together had been perfect. Even though their first attempt at love making hadn't been. From the moment they both entered his bedroom both were too nervous, too expectant, too desperate not to disappoint that their love making had failed to set each other's worlds alight. Both trying hard not to, but both worrying that maybe what they had lost would never be found again. 

Lying there in each other's arms though, tired , but not satisfied it dawned on them both that this time maybe they need to try a bit harder at their relationship. That like everything good in their lives they needed to work at it. And so they did several more times that night and the next day. 

Very quickly though it all came good for them. They hit the sexual highs they wanted and even discovers new ones. Their togetherness just as before, but also so much more now. A sense of mutual understanding for one another that had never been there before. The only disappointment that they now indeed felt was the fact they had missed out on each other's pleasure for too long. 

This was what Molly was going to miss. Not the physical side of the relationship, even as important that was, but the new journey they had started on. One filled with so much promise and hope, that it seemed so wrong for it to come to an end. For the realities of their lives to interfere, and so Molly found herself flying back to Cyprus, away from the man she loved. 

He sat in his office and just stared at the phone. Alone in his building. Everyone already gone home for the weekend. Knowing it was too late to call her, but so wanting too, missing her dreadfully in the week since she had been gone, despite their daily FaceTime sessions, texts and calls. 

Thoughts of her never far from his mind, he still was surprised when his phone blinked into life and Molly's face came on the screen. 

"Hello you. God it must be late there? What you doing up?" He asked beaming at her sleepy face. Seeing her wearing her infamous Winnie the Pooh PJs again. 

She laughed, catching his look as it trailed down her sleepwear.

"I couldn't sleep. But you needn't talk mate. What you still at work for? It's late there too?" Noticing his surroundings. 

"Got me there Molly. Finishing stuff off but... shit...I just miss you. Don't really want it go home." He sighed. "The place is too empty."

"Yeah I know. Way too empty. It's like you're a squatter mate." She giggled. "You need to sort it out. Your world and everything in it. Buy some bloody furniture." She teased. 

"I know I will." It wasn't the first time she mentioned this. Realising his home wasn't perhaps as an attractive proposition for her in it semi furnished state. "I've just been lonely... and lazy... I guess. And now I just bloody miss you... and don't want to go home... pointless...can't seem to sleep without you now. " 

She could have made more jokes at his expense, but didn't. She felt his pain. 

"Missing you too. Couldn't sleep either." She whispered out. 

They stared at each other longingly for moments. 

"What's up? You ok." He eventually asked. 

She dropped her head and he lost sight of her face, he could only watch her play with her fingers and nails. Nervous. 

"Molly? You ok?" Concern in his gentle tone. 

"Yeah." She shifted her head up at his concerned tones, and looked at him. "I need to tell you something. I just...I haven't been totally honest with you." 

He drew in a deep breath and prepared himself. 

"What about?" Slowly he asked. 

"It's just I have some news. That's all. Something's happened." 

He watched her anxious face taking over the screen as she pulled the phone closer. 

"I love you, you know that Charles? Yeah? And I meant what I said and I hope you did too... and I never meant to lead you on or anything... it just now I'm back here things are different." She paused to gage his reaction. 

"Shit Molly no..." He started. 

"No God no. It's just. Fuck. Look I thought I had four, five months left here. That's what I told you. Thought there was no way out, getting back early I mean."

She stopped for effect, wanting to play this out for a bit, but knowing she couldn't when she saw the upset and concern on his face. His hands raking through his hair nervously a sure sign. It made her love him more. 

"Well I was wrong. It turns out that I've a couple of choices. Won't bore you with them, but basically the main one is I return to the UK in the next couple of months, and get a new base somewhere."

She watched as a small smile played on his lips, as her words sunk in, the pain chased away by her news. 

"And...?" Was all he expectantly said.

"Well I thought, if it's ok with you, then I'd take it. Come home. Finish in six weeks actually. Get a new UK posting." She watched his smile get bigger. 

"Is that ok with you Charles? That I come home?" She asked. 

He closed his eyes briefly, then shouted out with happy laughter. 

"Six weeks Molly. That's totally ok with me. The best fucking news I've had... ever." 

She knew he'd be happy, the three weeks together had shown her just how right them being back together meant, and now she loved even more that she was able to make him happy. 

"Are you sure though?" He wanted there to be no doubts. "You love it out there though don't you?" 

"Yeah. I do. It's been the best. I do love it." She answered and then moved closer to the screen. "But I love you more." She beamed back at his happy face. 

"God. Molly I'll never tire of hearing you say that." He softly said. "I love you too." 

They spent many more happy minutes on the phone talking about the how's and when's, but soon he had to admit it really was his home time and her getting back to bed time. 

Her phone call though made him more determined. She was making sacrifices for him and he wanted her to know just how much it meant To him, and he knew just exactly what to do to prove it. 

His number flashing up on her phone the following weekend surprised her. He'd told her he was away at a conference, somewhere hush hush, for the whole weekend and so wouldn't be contactable. 

"Hello you. This is a bit of a surprise. Everything ok?" She asked, delighted in being able to speak to him. 

"Hello beautiful. I'm good." The smile in his voice echoing back down the phone. Excited with his plans. 

"You bored of them stuff shirts already?" She joked. 

"No. Not yet. It's just. I've just something to ask you." He replied. "Well two things actually." 

"Ok go on." 

"Well at the end of the month, the weekend you come back actually, there's a do I'd really like you to come with me too. Big thing, you know the drill. Formal. Best bib and tucker type of thing. Would mean we'd be going public about us and that." He paused. "Is that ok?" 

Molly didn't need to think about it. Not like before. This time there was no doubt.

"Course it bloody is. I'd be proud to go with you, and show you off." She joked. "Seriously though were you worried I'd say no?" 

"Not really. Well yes a bit. There'll be a few old faces and stuff from before. I don't want to push you... us." 

"Charles. One step at a time yeah? And this seems like a good 'un to take. Yeah?" 

"Yeah." He sighed. Finally feeling some peace. It had been an anxious 24 hours and he still hadn't reached the hard part yet. That was about to come. 

"So come on what's the other thing you've got to ask me?" She teased. 

He drew in his breath. Hoping he hadn't got this all wrong. Hoping she be as happy as he was. Silence filled the empty corridor as he mustered up the courage. 

"I was wondering what you're up to today?" He asked. 

"What? What do you mean? That's what you wanted to ask me? Why?" She was confused. She'd expected big news and a big question... though not that big question from him again, the big question that had caused them to part. It was too early for that. 

"Cause I'd love to see you. Spend some time with you." He simply answered.

"Me too mate. But how?" Then she heard his chuckle, both down the phone and closer by. 

"Charles where are you?" She asked suspiciously. 

"I'm here Molly. Standing outside your bedroom door. So you'd better be in and open the bloody thing." He shouted with happy laughter. 

She threw open her door to see him, her love standing there as promised outside his bedroom door. Happy, casual, and hers. 

"Charles. You nutter." She squealed, she would have said more but her mouth was claimed by his, her body gripped into his hold. Both locked onto each other. The time for talking was over for now, explanations would come later, much later. For now these two lovers delighted in the touch and taste of their love for each other all over again. 

Three days that's all they had together, but it was three very welcome days of rediscovering and reinventing their love, passion and need for each other. When not spent lying in each other's arms, or recovering from their love making they we're exploring her new world. The world she delighted in now showing Charles. He saw how settled, happy, she was there and that she was willing, for now, to give it up for them. He loved her even more because of this than he thought was possible. 

During his three days there they had skilfully avoided a lot of her friends and more importantly Matt. Not wanting to make things difficult for anyone. Keeping her two worlds separate. Plus neither of them wanted to share each other, with anyone else, so the arrangement suited them both. 

Again another airport, another good bye. The short stay of Charles' visit over, and this time more than before her heart broke. 

"Hey, hey it will be ok." He crooned into her ear. Her face pressed up against his top, already soaked with tears. "We'll see each other in four weeks." He reassured her. 

"Four weeks Charles. It gonna be like a bloody life time. I'll miss you." She sobbed. 

"We'll see each bother soon. We can FaceTime, call talk. All the usual." He reassured. But even as he said it he knew they were just words. His heart was hurting at their separation just as much as hers. "We've done it before." 

"It just this time, it's different." She looked up at him almost ashamed at her utter dependency on him now for her heart's happiness. 

"Four weeks Molly... we're nearly there." He kissed the words onto her ear. "It will fly by." 

She raised her lips to his and smiled giving him a watery, sloppy, tear soaked kiss, then giggled, pulling away as he had to wipe her tears from his face. He didn't mind though he'd take any type of kiss from this girl. From the woman he loved. 

He was right and he was wrong.

The four weeks did fly by in some respects, well in the professional side of her life. In sorting her life, and closing the chapter to her Cyprus adventure. But on a personal level they both felt the four weeks separation very keenly. 

Eventually though the day came. Loaded with several large suitcases, and a huge smile, she greeted him at the arrivals gate late one Thursday night. Running into his arms and jumping up at him childlike in her happiness. Oblivious of any looks or comments that were passed their way. She was home. Finally back with the man she loved. 

For the first time he could ever remember she didn't fall asleep in the long drive home. Both excited talking about plans for now, the few days off they had together, and later after she had to report to her new regiment HQ in Birmingham for her next posting orders. Hints had been dropped, and a bit of insider knowledge on Charles' behalf indicated she'd be based a couple of hours away from Charles doing Outreach work for the NHS and internal training. They wouldn't be living with each other, not yet, but at least they would see each other very, very often. 

He loved to see her so happy, so animated about their future. Making suggestions about their few days off together, with even longer termed plans being thrown in too. 

"I can wait to get you home." He threw her a happy glance. Kissing her hand for the thousandth time. 

"I know me too. Bloody missed you. Waiting out's shit." She giggled. 

"Yeah it is... but that's not what I'm meant Miss Dawes. We all haven't got a one track mind you know." He teased. Then watching her raise her eyebrows at him he burst out into very happy laughter. "Well, yeah, I know I have but apart from that Molly. I really do have a surprise for you." 

Her questioning still hadn't stopped by the time they had reached his. Both giggling at her attempts to get into his house as quickly as possible. He didn't have to show her the surprise, she saw straight away. Saw just how busy he had been and what he had done for them. He'd turned his house into a home. A proper place for them to be together in. Settees, comfy chairs, rugs, ornaments they had once bought together, all out of storage and back in his life and welcoming her, and making her feel she had a place to finally call home.

"You like it?" He dipped his head and kissed her ear.

"Yeah." She turned to hold him. "It's perfect. Bleeding perfect. Thank you."

She wasn't nervous. She didn't need to be. She had Charles, as well as Smurf and Rebeca to be there for her. Smurf's recent promotion and subsequent move to the same base as Charles ensured their attendance at the do. Any negative comments about the new Majors girlfriend wouldn't find their way to her ears. She dressed though to impress and judging by Charles' look as she walked down the stairs she'd achieved it.

"Shit Mols you still scrub up well." Was Smurf's understated comment, before anyone could speak. Earning him a cold glance from Rebecca.

Charles merely just smiled and offered her is arm. Looking dashing himself in full N.O 1 dress. Holding on to her as he helped her into the car he whispered.

"You look beautiful." His voice dripping with love and pride. It was enough and it saw her through the rest of the night.

Their night was fun. Perfect. Charles' new work colleagues fun, curious and perfectly friendly. The four fiends all enjoying the night, the new acquaintances and the entertainment. She mingled and talked, charmed and impressed. Everyone who met her came away happier to have met her, and some even felt that they might have been just a little bit jealous of their new Major.

Charles and Molly danced most of the night away, in each other arms, once the obligatory getting to know you part of the night was over. Loving being so close again, loving the attention she was garnering being held in his arms. She was sad when the time came to leave, having to drag Rebecca off the dance floor too, and stepping in when Smurf started to scowl at her for leaving him on his own most of the night.

But Molly wasn't going to let the night be spoilt by petty squabbles. Her home coming, Charles making his house their home, the ball were just perfect. And for once Molly found herself totally happy in this new world of dependence on another to look after her heart. She loved it, knowing that she could make him happy, and despite everything she ever been lead to believe she could have it all.

Her new posting days later had been confirmed. Her new base located in the north west of England. Too far to come home to Charles every night, but close enough to ensure that every weekend was spent together. They developed a happy new routine over the coming weeks, and months, travelling up and down the country, but neither one ever complained, as what they had was better than not having it at all. Her new role, her new life, was something she had never imagined.

Everyone's lives moved on. The day to day routine continued. However despite everything seeming perfect in her life, it wasn't. She held onto a secret. One she hadn't expected anyone to ever know. Too much at risk, yet that was where ironically the fun lay. In the simple taking of the risk.

Sadly though others did find out and regrettably she hurt the man she really hadn't intended to hurt . Her actions just proved what her parents had always believed about her. She knew that, but the temptation was just too great.

Her betrayal shocked everyone. No one believed she could be so cruel, so uncaring despite everything he had done and given her. The life they had, the promises they had made. But she did, she cheated on him. Despite her words, despite still saying she loved him, she had sex with another man.

Walking up the stairs, home from work early, an unusual occurrence these days, he discovered her infidelity. Had his heart once and for all finally broken. To him there had been no outward signs. He had thought she was happy. She had always said she was. Had thought her move, their new direction in life, their relationship had been what she had wanted. But he was wrong.

He caught her and a soldier in his command, naked, entwined on the sitting room rug. There was no doubt, that their 'love making' was interrupted by his early arrival home. Shocked he couldn't speak. Heartbroken he couldn't stand to stay and look at her. He fled their home instantly, blocking out the cries of forgiveness she wailed out.

Days later he was still numb. Not wanting to return home but knowing he had no choice, that he had to. Nowhere else to go. Nowhere he wouldn't draw attention to himself, nowhere his men wouldn't know. Gossip would find him eventually, her betrayal would be outed. So he went back to his home, to settle things. Unsure what there was to gain, but as always he wanted to try. He hadn't stopped loving her just because of what she had done.

He listened as she started off pleading for his forgiveness, and when that wasn't coming, it was too soon, she moved on to blaming him for her actions. Excuse after excuse coming flying from her mouth. Saying things he'd never imagine she say, but ultimately telling him the truth...she was bored.

She had thought it was exciting, fun in the early days they'd had together, enjoying the chase, but soon realised her mistake. The chase was so much better than the reality of what they now had. Bored by him, their life together, his moves, his career, she said she felt that over the past months she felt as though she was drowning. Unsure what to do though, knowing it was too late she'd already burnt her bridges, used up her options, so she tried and stayed. Too much of a coward to leave when there was no other way for her to go. He listened, he cried, he hurt, but he just didn't know what to say.

Molly and Charles just stood motionless staring at each other. The conversation had been hard, but at last the truth was out. Words very painful to hear, words which rocked their world. The betrayal, her infidelity now like slow dripping poison into their hearts. There was no going back. They both deep down knew that. There would be no forgiveness. One was a broken player in this tragedy, while the other was desperate to escape.

"What do we do?" Asked Charles. Standing stock still.

Molly looked at him, despite it all she still cried for the loss of the love they had. Her face streaked with tears.

"I don't know. I just don't know any more Charles. I don't think there's anything we can do."

"It's too late isn't it? Too late to go back, to how it was?" He asked

with little hope on his voice.

She snorted.

"Way too fucking late mate." And with that she turned and left, running out of their house, jumping onto her car.

"Molly." He shouted. "Wait. Please."

"I can't. I gotta go Charles." She pleaded. "I can't stay here. Not when..."

"I know." He sighed. "You're going to him aren't you."

She silently nodded.

"Yeah I am. I have to. He needs me." Fresh tears fell down her face.

"I know. I understand." He said. Despite it all, still hating to see her hurt. He stepped away from the car and he watched her drive off. Leaving him behind.

He slowly turned, walking into the now very empty house.

Cursing the day he had ever gone to that pub on the day they first met. Disgusted that she had done this to them. Never believing it could all end so badly.

Ashamed.

His cousin. His very own cousin Rebecca, had cheated on Smurf. Her husband. The father of their child. Destroyed the family home that William needed, and shattered Smurf's heart all because she was bored.

Molly had gone to Smurf. Driven off, the pain etch on her face for her hurting friend. He knew she would as soon as Smurf had called, had told her, had asked for her help. They were simply best mates and he needed her. Charles knew that and never resented that, all he could do was be there for him when she brought him back. Insisting that she brought him back to stay with them , to help him heal. To show him that as couple Molly and Charles would support their friend as his marriage crumbled away before him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 13**

He knew she was home the minute he walked through the door. Finishing early he entered their hall way to be confronted by bags of kit and pairs of muddy boots. The washing machine he could hear already tackling the first of many loads of kit she'd have to wash. 

It had been over six months now since she had been unofficially living with him. Still both travelling every weekend to see each other, but in the main she came to his. Her room at barracks, still in the north west camp, not offering them much privacy. And privacy was something that they had craved of late. Since his marriage broke down Smurf had been their reluctant house guest. Three months of him staying with them finally coming to an end the previous weekend when he finally admitted his marriage was over and moved back into the barracks. Although they'd miss him, and would be there to support him again in a heartbeat, they were very much looking forward to being alone. 

It was all going so well. That's what made this period of separation hard to bear. Six months of semi-living together, having a routine, and the past ten days had been the longest they had been apart since she come home from Cyprus. They'd missed each other dreadfully. Molly had spent the last week doing annual proficiency field testing for medics, in the middle of a muddy field somewhere, and her week away then ran back to back with a squash competition somewhere in Wales. She had very full on and demanding ten days, enjoyed some of it even, but she missed him. And Charles has missed her. Finishing work therefore unusually early to see her, but fully aware that she'd be tired and so not expecting much. Instead he knew just exactly where to find her, as she wasn't expecting him home for hours. 

She was there just as he thought she would be. It was the place most soldiers went to after periods of enduring basic living. First they headed for the shower. Then they headed for their bed. He walked into their room and found her curled up like a little door mouse, snuggled into the duvet of their bed. Fast asleep, the dark rings under her eyes a testament as to just how tired she was, how hard she had worked. He smiled, not really disappointed in her being asleep. Just happy she was home. Knowing there'd be time for talking later, and he quietly went to leave the room, reluctant though that it would be several more hours before he'd get to hold her. 

"Hey you." She sleepily called out from the bed. 

Instantly he turned. His heart doing that little somersault thing that it still did on seeing her. 

"Hello beautiful. You ok?" He squatted down in front of her, brushing the stray hair from her forehead and planting a kiss right there. She smelt of his Molly. 

"Mmmm. Tired, but pleased to see you." She shifted up and over to get a proper cuddle from him. Which he willingly gave. "Missed you." She said as her mouth claimed his lips for a very much need welcome home kiss. 

"Missed you too. Been home long?" He'd notice her hair still damp from the shower, her wet towel 'hung up' on the floor. She was donned in her Mickey Mouse PJs, the very ones he'd bought her weeks ago, half serious, half jokingly. If he had to guess what she be wearing, those PJs would have been at the top of the list. She'd loved them from the moment he had given them to her, thrilled that he just got her, even down to her Disney PJ fetish, and so they soon became one of her favourites. He kept smiling at the memory. 

"About an hour. I'll get up soon." She promised. "Or you could join me?" She pulled back the duvet in a move to temp him in beside her. 

He was tempted, the warm air that escaped out mingling with the smell of her almost too hard to resist. Yet he did, it was sleep he knew she really needed despite the stirrings he was feeling. 

"No get some shut eye. I'll square away your kit." He said stroking her face and moving in every now and then to place a gentle kiss onto her dry cracked lips. "Shall I make us something to eat? Box set? Wine in front of the TV? Or do you want to go out?" 

She puffed out. 

"God no. I want you. The settee and a full tummy please." She tiredly smiled at him. Then seeing it was futile. He wasn't going to get in with her she snuggled herself back down into the bed. 

He gave her one last kiss, then stood.

"Go on. Get some Zs. See you in a few hours." He turned to leave. 

"Thank you." She whispered out, already half asleep. "For the sheets I mean. Love you." 

He knew what she meant. It had been a demand she made the day she left for the exercise. Knowing his habits, his routine, and wanting to interrupt it. She had an unusual request. Asking him not to change the sheets on their bed when she was away. Wanting when she returned, and in the bed alone without him, she'd at least have the smell of him to make her feel as though she was truly home. He laughed at her odd request, but complied. Not wanting to admit that putting clean sheets on the bed was something he wouldn't have even have considered... he wanted to keep her smell during their absence close to him too.

He hung onto the door and popped his head around it 

"Love you too. And your very welcome." Then he left her as she was already fast asleep again. 

She found him several hours later stretched out on the settee. The chaos of her filthy kit tidied way and the evidence of it drying all around the house. He didn't see her at first, half watching the TV and half playing with the remote, flipping it absent minded from one hand to another. 

Surprising him she bent down and kissed his curls that had sprung up on his head, a sure sign he was in casual, relaxed mode. She loved seeing him so switched off from the stress of his role. 

"Thank you. Feel almost human now." She said as he shifted across for her to lie down next to him. Pulling her in tightly for one of his very much missed hugs. 

"No problem. You needed it. Made some scoff too. If you're interested." He never wanted her to move from his arms, but couldn't deny the rumbles from both their stomachs. 

"Yeah. In a minute. This is nice." She clung onto him tighter. "Bloody missed you." She kissed into the neck of his t shirt. Breathing him in. 

"Yeah me too." Then moving his head and a body slightly he noticed just how tired she still looked. "Tough was it?" 

"Bloody tough." She sighed. "Tell you about it later though, yeah?" Then suddenly sitting up she asked. "Should we eat?"

He agreed. He knew her diversion tactics well by now. 

They feasted that night on a Shepherd's pie he'd made. One of her favourite dishes ever since that day he'd turned up in her little bedsit pretending it was from Rebecca. Eating off trays in their laps. Total decadence as far as they were both concerned, but not wanting to be separated by a kitchen table, so they sat very close, legs touching on the settee. 

"There's some mail, cards over there for you to look at." He pointed with a nod of his head to a pile of opened mail, as they'd cleared the trays away. Lazily, for tonight, just dumping them on the kitchen side. Tomorrow they would tidy up, because tomorrow and the day after that they had time, all the time in the world. Tonight was just going to be about then together again, nothing was going to interrupt that. 

She looked through the pile of opened Christmas cards briefly, then turned to him expectantly. It broke his heart that he couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. That she still despite everything had a sliver of hope. 

"Sorry Molly. No card from you parents in that lot." He told her questioning look. She shrugged her shoulders. Pretending not to care. 

But in truth she did. For over six months since she'd been back in the UK she had tried once, twice, to offer an olive branch to her parents. Each time though they had slapped it back in her face, and basically had not responded to her call, or text. The sending to them a Christmas card from her was another attempt, writing in her new address, an attempt in opening up some lines of communication. Yet the negative answer Charles had given to her unspoken question, just proved to her they had again rejected her peace offering. 

"It's alright. Didn't expect it really." She said. But he could see she was hurt. 

"Hey." He said pulling her across to his lap. "How about tomorrow we go and get the Christmas tree?" Hoping this silly treat would bring her smile back. And it did. It worked like a charm. 

"Yes please." She giggled. "And then can we decorate the house and stuff. Light outside and all?" She wiggled excitedly in his knee. 

He groaned. Pretending it was a million miles away from what he wanted, but it wasn't. He was just as excited as her. 

Her arriving back from the exercise was the start of their Christmas leave together. Just over two weeks of holiday time, together. With no one to please for the main part of it, but themselves. Meaning that from here on in they could do exactly what they wanted, where, and how they wanted! 

"It's there loss Molly." He gently nuzzled into her neck, comforting her. "You know that don't you? But if you want to try again... I'm here... by your side." He told her, as she slipped into quiet contemplation, pretending to be engrossed in the film. 

"I know. Thank you, but for now, I kind of just want to forget about them." She raised her head from his shoulder and half turned to look at him. "Is that ok... for now?" 

"Of course it bloody is." He knew never to push Molly, she'd talk when she was ready. And then he captured her lips, wanting her to know that however she wanted to play this he'd go along with it. 

The soft gentle supportive kiss however didn't last long. Their desire instantly lit. He'd waited out, was being considerate. Waiting until she wasn't so tired, but all those thoughts disappeared as soon as she responded eagerly and deeply to his kiss. Their time apart showed that they had missed each other's bodies, hold, touch, taste. They now needed each other. They needed to reconnect, to thrill themselves within their love making. And so that's just what they did, and almost in celebration of their newly found privacy they didn't bother to make it to the bedroom. Instead they made slow, deep, love right there in the middle of their sitting room. 

Eventually though they did make it to their bedroom, and rediscovered each other once again. This time though it was quick, fast, and furious, both crashing over the finish line in a spectacular satisfying wave of ecstasy, faster than they would have ever believed.

He woke hours later to find her missing from his arms, surprised she was awake so early after the strenuous time away she'd had. Expecting her to insist on a long lie in before their Christmas tree shopping trip. 

He found her, easily, sitting in their study. It was still dark outside and the spill of the table lamp under the door frame giving her away. She sat there engrossed in her paperwork. Laptop turned on and numerous performance assessment reports to complete at her feet. 

"Hey." He said as he walked over to her. "Didn't expect you to be up so early." He sat himself down on the comfy chair next to the desk. Reaching out and brushing his fingers over her forearm. 

"Thought I'd make a start. Didn't want them hanging over me during the holidays." She replied, only briefly smiling at him, only briefly making eye contact. 

"You going to tell me?" He asked. She was unusually quiet about this exercise, had hung onto him that little bit tighter after their love making. Her nails constantly being worried by her mouth. Sure signs she had something on her mind. 

She sighed and spun the chair round to face him. 

"It was shit." She started. "Well not all of it, just the last few days of the field exercise. When I was doing the one to one stimulation assessments." 

He said nothing, just nodded to her and raised his eye brows as a sign for her to continue. 

"Had a bit of bother with one of the medics. Didn't I? She got a bit cocky. Thought she was God's gift and that. Pushed it all the way." Molly looked at him. "I did try Charles, tried to pull her back. Point out the shit from the clay and that. But she was having none of it." 

He reached forward and grabbed her hands, stopping them from making the way to her mouth. 

"Go on." He encouraged. 

"She fucked up. The medic. Big time. Huge mistake with a mock casualty. If it had been real, he'd be dead, and she'd be stuffed." Molly looked directly at him now, drawing in a deep breath. "Thing is Charles it was Lane. Georgie Lane."

"Lane? From two section." He asked for clarity. "Shit. She used to be good." He wondered out aloud. 

"Yeah, I know. I just think...I don't know... just felt she was showing off a bit and that." She pulled her hands away and plucked out Lanes' file from the stack on the office floor. Waving it between them. "Thing is Charles I might gonna have to fail her on this. And it feels a bit shit." 

He dropped to the floor and knelt next to her. 

"Molly." He spoke gently and slowly, seeing this was upsetting for her. "It's your job. If she's not good enough you have to say. You can't let her go into a live theatre not competent." 

"I know... but... it's Georgie. She was your medic. You chose her over me as your medic back then...she used to date Elvis... she's two sections best mate. It just gonna be hard that's all." 

He knelt up and hugged her.

"I know. But you've got to do what's right, and I, and all your superiors trust you. If you say she wasn't good enough, then she wasn't good enough. Ok?" 

Molly stroked his stubbled, stilled sleep crumpled face, looking deeply into the deep brown eyes that belonged to the only man who simply just got her. 

"How did I get so lucky?" She simply said. 

His only answer to that was to stand, offer her his hand, which she willing accepted, and walk her back to the bedroom. Where he proceeded to perform tasks of love on her which showed her again and again just what a lucky girl she truly was. 

"Do you really like it." He asked. Concerned. It was the most expensive gift he'd ever bought for anyone before. He needed to know he'd got it right. 

Molly spun the solitaire diamond between her fingers. Smiling at the way it danced in the candle light. 

"It's beautiful. Thank you." And she truly meant it. 

It was Christmas Eve and over a romantic dinner for two, in their very own dining room, uninterrupted by anything or anyone, they had decided to give each other their Christmas gifts early. Tomorrow they had nowhere to go, no plans until Boxing Day, so intended to do nothing together apart from being together. To be honest both of them were excited, this was their first proper Christmas together. The decorating of the house, the tree, buying seasonal foods all new and exciting to them, enjoying each and every new memory they made. The waiting out until the morning to swap Christmas gifts was too much for them. So instead they planned for a sumptuous Christmas Eve meal, alone, and to swap gifts. 

Charles went first, nervous about what she'd say, what she'd think. He'd walked around from the table and crouched down in front of her wanting to see her reaction to his offering. His eyes held hers as he presented her the small jewellery box for her to unwrap and open. Never once in watching her did her see any sighs of fear, of rejection, of her running again. 

Her reaction on opening it though said it all. She gasped and declared it perfect, slipping close to him to kiss him. Then moving to allow him to put it on her. She loved it. And now she sat there stoking the messy curls on his head, reassuring him that it was everything she'd wanted and more. The perfect gift. 

The chain from the necklace he'd given her fell just right around her neck, the diamond hung just below the dip of her throat. He stepped back admiring it. Her finger playing still with the stone that hung from it. 

"I've never had something so delicate before. It's so pretty." She kissed her thanks onto his lips. "Thank you. I just love it." 

His relief was palpable and as he went to sit down again, he noticed it was her turn to show signs of nerves. Her turn to give a gift. The box was heavy and old. Curiously he slowly unwrapped it and opened it, almost expecting a surprise to jump out. Then as his fingers touched the smooth metal he gasped. 

"Oh God. Bloody hell. Molly it's great. Shit. Must have cost you a fortune." He turned to her. Now close, pulling her chair next to his. 

"Turn it over." She instructed. He turned over the designer watch in his hands, carefully, knowing the value of what he held in his hands. Thousands of pounds worth of Swiss engineering in his grasp. 

The inscription on the back simply read.

'_One day. I promise.'_

He looked at her quizzically. 

She steeled herself. Drew in a huge breath. This was the biggest step she felt she had ever taken emotionally before. 

"Well I mean... it means. One day Charles. I know you'll ask again." He only smiled at this and allowed her to go on. "One day, you will ask, and when you do I promise I'll say yes. But for now for just a little while longer, this is my promise, my promise to you that I am completely and total yours. Forever." 

She watched him as he remained silent, just staring at her. Emotions starting to build in his beautiful eyes. 

She felt uncomfortable. It had seemed such a romantic idea at the time. Not so much of an engagement ring for her, but more of a promise in the form of a ridiculously expensive watch for him. 

Still he hadn't spoken. 

"Don't get too excited mind you." She tried to joke away her discomfort. "It is second hand and that. I'm not made of money. Couldn't afford a brand new one." 

"I don't care. It's perfect." He eventually spoke. "These here, these words." He tapped the back of the watch. "And these words from here." Tapping her heart. "Mean everything and that's what makes it the most precious thing in the world to me. Priceless. Thank you Molly. Thank you." 

He smiled at her with a serenity she'd never really seen on his face before outside their bedroom, then drew her in to him and just held her. His breaths shuddering in his chest as he tried to control his emotions.

"I know you think about it. I know you want to." She said. "I see you sometimes looking at me and I know you're wondering if I'd say 'yes'."

"I do, but I know now's not right." He spoke into her hair. "Thought the whole Smurf and Rebecca thing might have scared you."

She pulled away from him, sadly smiling.

"It was shit for Smurf, but that's not us. Is it?" She then leaned in to kiss him. "I mean it...one day."

He returned her kiss. No words were said for a very long time. She just sat secure in his arms, both happy that their futures were that little bit more certain than before. And for once it made Molly happy, not scared, content, not worried, and certain here was the man for her.

"Just nipping to the loo. Meet you at the door." She shouted to Charles and Elvis as she slipped away. Both waving their hands in acknowledgement. 

They were on their way home after spending a quiet evening in Elvis' local with a group of Charles and Elvis' friends, who now Molly guessed were her friends too. It was the night before New Year's Eve and tomorrow a group of them were off for a week's skiing to Austria. So tonight had supposedly just been a quiet pre-holiday drink. It had been fun, a good 'getting you know you' exercise and Molly was confident the holiday would be fun too. The old group of friends curious to meet the new girlfriend and made her feel very welcome. The flowing alcohol and the slightly tipsy feeling Molly had developed as the night went on certainly helped. 

"Molly. Dawes. Sargent bleeding Dawes. As I live and breathe." The drunken voice slurred out behind her as Molly washed her hands. 

It was Georgie Lane. A very much worse for wear Georgie who had obviously been enjoying the complements of the season significantly. Molly noticed she seems to have trouble standing.

Molly said nothing and just raised her eyes at Georgie. Finishing off her task, wanting to leave as quickly as she could. 

"You think you're so clever don't." She leaned uncomfortably close to Molly, her breath assaulting Molly's faced with the smell of wine. "Failed me didn't ya? Bloody failed me. Georgie bleeding Lane." 

Molly tried to move away from her. Knowing that in situations like this the wisest thing to do was leave, but the drink in side of her and the provoking from Georgie was making it hard. 

"Look we'll talk about this when you're sober. Shall we Lane?" She tried to say as calmly as she could, despite the voice in her wanting to shout at the drunken mess to get out of her bloody face. 

"No. We'll talk about to now...Sarg." She continued, pointing her finger close to Molly's face. "You know I didn't deserve to fail. You did it out of spite." She said. "You're jealous of me." Throwing her hand up and down as though she was measuring her body against Molly's. "Jealous cause he chose me and not you to be his medic." She slurred on. 

Molly moved to get past her, and placed her hands on either of Georgie's arms to help her move out of the way. Tempted to use force, but held it together. 

"Oi watch it." Georgie yelled dramatically as she was pushed aside by Molly. 

"Your drunk. Go home and get a good night's sleep." Molly said walking away from her tormentor. Briefly turning back to watch as Georgie stumbled, tripped on her ridiculously high heels and bounced off the wall. Molly smirked despite herself. "Look at you! You can't even stand." She gloated. 

And then she left, catching the briefest of glimpse of Georgie standing at the mirror, almost snarling out nasty words as Molly had dared to leave her. 

"We bonded you know? When you weren't there. You're a jealous cow. That's what you are."

Molly closed the cloakroom door behind her and then she saw and heard no more. 

She hurried on to Charles who stood dutifully waiting for her. Chatting happily to Elvis, smirking as he noticed his gift from Molly in his friend's wrist. Charles smiled a huge grin as she slipped up to him through the crowds and was held by his arms. Leaving the pub together, a happy couple, very much in love.

The excitement of their first ski holiday ahead of them, meant the little confrontation with Georgie's very quickly forgotten. Molly wasn't going to give it or Lane a second thought.


	14. Chapter 14

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 14**

They giggled as they pulled their heavy bags from the car and burst through the front door. The giggling soon stopped though as he cheekily pinched a kiss from her smiling lips. Willing she gave into him and responded with love. She sighed as she relaxed into him as he gently brushed the hair from her face and held her gaze. Ridiculously, despite the winter chill from the open door, they stayed like this for precious moments. Two people so very much in love, communicating with their eyes, and their souls.

It had been one of the best weeks of Molly's life. The skiing was fun, something she'd done a few times before, but never with Charles and initially worried he'd out ski her and leave her behind, but once there she didn't worry, knowing he'd never do that. And so she'd kept up with the group, with Charles, just, her fastest just about acceptable, and always finding at the end of each run a smiling Charles waiting patiently for her. There was no way he was going to leave her, too much of a gentleman, and too much in love. This was their holiday, their together time, their time even with friends, and so no matter how she skied that week he stuck with her each and every day.

It wasn't just Charles' attentions that she had enjoyed. The whole week had been actually amazing. All of the group young and fit, and keen to make the most of the conditions. They skied hard, but partied harder. The après ski and evenings had been equally as much fun. Both Molly and Charles drinking a bit more than they were used to, dancing a bit more than they ever had, and loving each other with an new deepness. As a group they mixed well and when the time came to say good bye to her new friends Molly fell truly sad. 

The memories of this holiday though would stay with her forever. Enjoying a whole new group of friends through Charles, had been an education. Realising that she wasn't the burden her parents taught her she was, realising that out there in this new found world of hers people actually genuinely liked her.

They all had known Charles and Elvis for so long, most of them had gone through officer training together, they all had so much history, but they included her and teased them both mercilessly. Apparently Molly being the first girlfriend of Charles' they ever had met, and not knowing their full history, they alluded to wedding bells again and again. Instead of running, panicking at these jibes Charles and Molly merely looked at each other, and smiled. Content where they were in the relationship, every night Charles looking at his watch, kissing her, uttering his thanks for the gift and the promise she'd given him. Life was good.

All good things however must come to an end, they both knew that and here, unpacking their cases proved it. They time together was almost over, the end of their Christmas leave together. Only one day left, for them to share, before they went their separate ways for the working week once again. 

"That was one bloody great holiday Molly. I must say." Charles said walking to put the kettle on as she started to pull out their dirty clothes for washing. 

"Yeah it was. Wonder where you're gonna take me next to top that?" She challenged him. 

She smiled to herself, there had been once or twice on holiday she'd fancied that it was on the tip of his tongue to ask her. She didn't know if he knew that, but she was certain he definitely didn't know that maybe, just maybe, if he had she would have said yes.

He chuckled keeping his back to her, running his hand through his hair. Loving their relaxed banter. Accepting the challenge.

He kept his secret. There had been times on the holiday he'd been close, so close to asking her again. But he didn't, and not because he was unsure if she loved him, but because he wanted it to be right. Perfect...for the one and only time she'd say 'yes' to a marriage proposal. And so secretly in his mind he started to plot and plan. 

"God can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow night." She moaned, softly coming up behind him and cuddling him. "Might gonna miss you all over again." 

"You're gonna miss me bringing you tea in bed every morning you mean." He laughed out, turning and quickly pecking her cheek, walking over to the fridge. Focused on getting their drinks rather than Molly's countenance. 

She sighed, and returned back to her task. She simply didn't say anything else. There was a grain of truth in what he'd had said, but there was also something deeper to her feelings. Ones she was surprised to be feeling. She was starting to realise that leaving him every Sunday night was something she was starting to dread. This life apart, only seeing each other at weekends was no longer the life she wished to live, but she kept quiet for now. 

"Penny for them?" He asked. Noticing her dropped shoulders and quietness. He'd been fully expecting her to have teased him back. He'd been waiting for the famous Molly Dawes' cheek, and when it didn't come, he questioned her. 

"Nothing just thinking. That's all." She said, keeping her feelings close to her heart for now. They had one day left, not enough time to sort anything out in.

Charles handing her the cup of tea, was about to give her the famous reply about her thinking being dangerous when the doorbell went. 

Instead he strode away to answer it. She couldn't hear what was said, and was too caught up in her melancholy and in sorting out their damp dirty ski gear. She even paid little attention to him when he came back into the room, it was only when he spoke directly at her did she start. 

"Molly. There's some people here for you." His voice sounded strange. 

She turned and saw their scarlet caps first, and then the well know Military Police Uniform second. 

"Charles?" She asked looking from them to him. Military Police in your home, this time of night never meant good news. "What?" 

"Molly just listen." He said as he came quickly over and stood next to her. Holding onto her shoulders tightly. His grip on her shoulders was the warning shot she needed. 

"Sargent Molly Dawes?" The older of the MP officer said. And accepting her nod as confirmation, he continued. 

"We've been trying to get in touch with you for the past five days. You're a hard woman to get hold of." He chipped along. 

"Been away. On holiday." She answered defensively. "What's going on?" She asked. Totally bewildered. Looking between them and Charles hoping for some clarity. 

"Sargent Molly Dawes I am here to inform you that a complaint has been made against you. That on the 30th December last year you assaulted Lance Corporal Georgie Lane in the toilets of the Furry Fox pub, Aldershot." 

"What?" Molly shouted at them, and Charles moved his body even closer to hers. Holding onto her tightly as she tried to pitch forward out of his grip. "The vindictive mare."

Then turning so she could see Charles' face she said.

"I don't believe this. Just wait till I get my hands on her!" 

Charles let out an audible 'shhh' as the MP continued, both men fixing her with a warning stare. Not wanting her words or actions to make this more difficult 

"I am therefore here to ask you to attend garrison MP offices tomorrow to provide a statement of your side of events. You are entitled to legal representation if you wish." 

Molly just stared. Shocked. It was Charles who spoke next. Taking charge. 

"What evidence is there? How do we know Lane's not making this all up? As far as we know she wasn't even there that night. She's possibly making it up for attention." He finished. 

Molly, so proud of his loyalty to her, but knowing it would look bad if she didn't keep everything straight and above board, needing to tell the truth. She said quietly. 

"She was there Charles. I saw her in the toilets." 

Charles looked shocked, mouth hung open, and would have continued if the younger MP hadn't started to speak. 

"Photos were taken of Georgie Lane's injuries at the time when she reported the assault. Sargent Dawes will be able to see them tomorrow when she turns up to give her statement." 

"Injuries. What the fuck." Molly shouted. "I never bleeding touched her. She's lying." Turning to Charles. "She lying Charles. I never." 

He stood behind her and continued to hold onto her shoulders. Steadying her. Nodding his belief in her. Presenting themselves as one in front of these two strangers who had entered their world and upset it. 

"I know Molly. I know. We'll get this sorted." He internally winced at the platitudes. The truth was this was bad, for Molly, for them and potentially for him too. 

The next ten minutes or so Molly didn't take anything in, didn't join in with the conversation. Charles took control of it all, dealt with all the formalities, paperwork, even down to the indignity of the surrendering of her passport to them . Eventually though he showed the MPs out, curtain twitching on the street, signs their evening visitors hadn't been unnoticed by others. The gossip mill would already have started. He took a moment to calm himself after shutting the door, then returned to the sitting room finding Molly just sitting staring into space. 

"Hey. You ok?" He asked taking the chair opposite her. A slow gentleness about him as not to startle her. 

"I never. Shit. I can't remember much about that night, but I know I didn't bloody assault her. I know that." Molly wailed. 

"Hey hey hey." He moved forward and cradled her into his arms. "We'll go tomorrow and get this mess sorted." He promised her. They were false promises they both knew that. 

"We? You're gonna come with me?" She asked. "Really?" 

"Course I bloody am. What did you think I'd just leave you to sort this out by yourself? Never." He kissed her head to reassure her, and took some comfort in the small grateful smile she gave him 

"Shit I just don't remember." She sighed. "I'm trying to honest." 

"You never said you saw Lane that night. That she was there." He asked cautiously. "Why not?" 

"Don't know?" And the truth was she genuinely didn't. "Wasn't important. We were going away. I was tipsy. Happy I guess. It just went out of my head." 

"Did you..." He hesitated about how to put his next question. "Did you touch her, or maybe push her?" 

"No. Shit Charles. I didn't. We had words. She went on about me failing her. I moved her out of the way. She was in me face, I might have gently shoved her but I never pushed." Molly cried out. 

"So there was actual physical contact though?" He pushed further, slipping into his leader mode. 

"Not like that!" She jumped up. Angry. "Fuck if you don't believe me no one else is gonna." 

"Calm down Molly. I do believe you. Just wanting to get the facts." He stood following her up the stairs as she fled in tears. "Molly please." He called out. 

"No Charles. I know I didn't push her. I wouldn't. She was pissed. Very. She wobbled and hit the wall, but that wasn't my doing... I don't think." She broke down and accepted his out stretched arms. Snuggling into him. Trying to hide from it all. "I promise you I never hurt her." 

They both spent a night pretending to sleep but neither of them achieving more than an odd snatch now and then. The daunting process of the next day weighing too heavy on their minds. Molly so grateful that Charles was willing to come with her, but also scared about where it would lead to, what damage it could cause. 

"You know it will be alright in the end don't you." He signed into her hair as he pulled her into his warm body. Hoping to calm her down, as she lay tightly sprung next to him. 

"Will it? How do you know that?" She said it as kindly as she could, but still couldn't keep the sharpness out of her voice. She knew he was trying to comfort her, but like her he had no idea how this was all going to play out. They were just nice kind words, not certainties. 

Charles knew she was right. He didn't know. He'd spent his whole working life knowing, assessing outcomes, familiarising himself with end results. Yet in this situation he was powerless, in the mercy of the process just like Molly. It scared him, made him feel useless. He couldn't do what he wanted to do, he couldn't make this right for her, and so all they could do was wait. They talked no more that night, nothing more to say, instead just lay side by side, hands touching hands, both counting down the hours until the morning. Until the next move in this unravelling nightmare. 

The next morning, day, evening all came and went going by as well as could be expected. Shamed, embarrassed, defensive and scared, and a whole lot more, were the emotions Molly felt during the day. Battling constantly with her instinct, constantly trying to rein in her anger at hearing and seeing evidence of Georgie's lies. Listening, controlled as the list given by the MPs, the polite formality of it all, of the accusations levelled at her. Nothing surprising, it was as she had been told the night before, but heart breaking still for Molly to hear again. That Georgie Lane was saying Molly assaulted her in the toilets, had bruised her arm and split her lip in the process. The post assault photos brilliantly showing the damage Molly had supposedly done and backed up Lane's fantastic tale.

And so their last day together had been ruined, poisoned by events, and there was no comfort to be found in anything, so Molly left Charles' early that Sunday evening to start her drive back to her barracks and back to the job she was good at. Charles knew he couldn't stop her, she need to go, to run from this as best she could, and so he held her tight, promising to be there for her no matter what and he let her go. Relief flooding through him though as she whispered promises to him that she'd come back to him, always. 

It was initially surprise that he felt when he first received her call mid Monday morning. They usually avoided calls during work hours, both normally too focused on the jobs they were good at. Surprise however soon turned into sheer bloody anger once she explained to him her reason for calling and interrupting his day. Slamming down his work phone, he left his office quickly returning home as fast as he could, desperate to be there for her. Bursting through the front door, seeing her car already park on his drive way again after only a 24 hours absence made it even more real. He called her name and not waiting for a reply he climbed the stairs, double time, knowing just where she'd be. He found her in the office, files and paper strewn about the place. Computer on. Printer noisily churning out reams of paper, and Molly sat on the floor amongst it all. 

She barely acknowledged him as he stepped over the mess to kiss her 'hello'. The look on her face though said it all. The determined Molly was back. When she had called him from the car she was distraught. Explaining her story to him in juddering semi coherent breaths and sobs. Turning up for work as usual that morning, her first day back after leave, she had been surprised and marched into her CO's office. Told simply and regretfully the bare facts of the situation. Lane's accusation didn't apparently just stop at Molly physically attacking her, but also continued on to accusing Molly's professionalism too. Claiming that Molly had with 'malice and bias' failed Georgie out of 'pure spite' and had singled her out for 'unfair pressure, bordering on bullying'. With such damming accusations against her reputation as a soldier, as a medic assessor, her CO stated that they had no choice but to historically review all her assessments of other medics on all courses since her commencement with the section. Her presence so close to the unit or barracks therefore was not advised. Two weeks downtime, study leave, was given to ensure she was far enough away from the investigation. Her CO apologising again and again that he had to simply follow procedure, and none of this was personal. Stating as honestly as the current situation would allow, that he valued Molly as a member of his section.

His kind words though didn't help, she was devastated that all she had worked for was now in doubt, being questioned. On being dismissed she climbed into her car and called Charles immediately. Hardly able to speak through the waves of anger and grief, but eventually filling him in with the insults she had to bare, the punishment she had to endure, all because of Georgie's claims, all before she was even tried or found guilty.

It was to Charles she fled to endure her misery, her two weeks away, while they completed their internal review on her fitness to train and assess others. Two weeks of not being allowed back on her camp while the pick over her past decisions. Two weeks where she was unable to have access to any of their decisions or questioning about her. And so as her world started to slowly unravel, there was only one thought of where she wanted to be, and that was with Charles. 

On entering the room Charles saw, on the office floor, though not the Molly who had sobbed and sobbed down the telephone line hours ago, but instead one that was very familiar to him. Instead her saw the Molly who had total control of her emotions. Her game face was on, focused. As she sat there amongst rule books, manuals, policies and procedure documentation she was determined. Ready to face this challenge full on and with all the guts she was well known for. She'd had problems in her life to sort out before, maybe not as big as this, but she knew she'd fight every step of the way. Just this time she'd have Charles by her side to help and for once that felt good. 

They worked together, looking at her notes as a team, and under any other situation it might have even been viewed as a happy partnership. Each evening he was home, always a known stickler for rules and regulations, he helped her explore avenues, loopholes, precedents that potentially would help her. Manuel, books, traditions all explored. He used his contacts too, friends all who were able to give him advice, ideas. Together they were becoming a force of defence, if needed, to be reckoned with.

They both noticed it, but never mentioned it. Whereas Charles' friends has been very forthcoming about her predicament, Molly's friends, bar Smurf, had been noticeably quiet. It shocked her, and even hurt. Colleagues, team mates, not making contact, even though she knew the reason about her sudden leave was out. It showed her without Charles, his parents, and his support network she would have been very much alone in all this mess. She therefore appreciated this man more than she could say, she tried, so many times to tell him, but just words were never good enough.

Out of all of their friends however there was one person whom they had not excepted such support from...Elvis. He had barrelled himself into their home days after it had all started, bringing with him an abundance of positivity. Elvis! He turned up and helped hold them together. It was Elvis who was both there unexpected, but excellent, confident in all this. Using him to confide in when they didn't want to confide in each other. When they feared speaking out at times would cause more hurt than they already felt. And so Elvis he listened, sometimes offering advice or just plain hard liquor, whatever suited the occasion, but he was there for them.

Molly never realised his hidden depths and marvelled sometimes as to how he really was the strong silent type, it wasn't an act. Showing them both his loyal side, and ability to assess each situation, before acting on it. His special force training obviously coming into play.

There was however one occasion where his level head was very much tested. One situation that truly tested him, funding it hard to just sit back and keep his rage in.

Charles had turned to his friends, confided in him, trouble by the events of his day. The anger in him trying to be hidden after he had being called in to see the Colonel. His CO. An old out of date leader, months away from a very much needed retirement, who was desperate to leave the Army without a stain on his leadership, or those in his chain of command. And so he invited Charles in for an informal, friendly 'chat'. The meeting started nicely, but soon the atmosphere changed once the Colonel's true intentions were known He said he felt, it was only right that he advised Charles that Molly's investigation, the allegations attached to her were not good for him, the platoon or anyone. He offered friendly advice to Charles that he should 'ditch the upstart floosy' for his own good and that of his promising career. Then as quickly as the ruinous advice was given Charles was dismissed. Given 'time to think about it', but was strongly advised to put his 'promising career first'. No time for Charles to reply or retort to the 'wisdom' delivered. 

Charles had merely turned and left, knowing his duty, obeying as he always did. However Charles was incensed and barely held it together walking back to his office. Shouting at junior ranks as he passed them in the corridor for minor uniform errors. Trembling as he seated himself at his desk and revisited the words he'd just head.

He held in his rage for the rest of the day. Instead it was his friend Elvis who got his full wrath that night at his local, when he recounted the story. Gaining promises that he'd never tell Molly what had been said, knowing how much it would torment her. Elvis listened, noting how matter of fact Charles now told the tale. Charles eventually calming down quickly once he'd unburden himself, simply knowing that there would not be a choice to make. That time had well and truly passed. He'd made his choice a long time ago and the bonds he had with her, his girl, his Molly would not be broken by this, by anyone, or even by his career. She was his first and only consideration. Keeping her safe, clearing her name and protecting her from the inevitable hurt that was to come. 

Charles confiding though made Elvis more protective of Molly, the girl he sometimes regretted not trying harder with. Finding himself spending more and more of his free time with her. He saw himself as a protector when Charles wasn't around, and frequently popped in most days merely to see her. As always, as before, they got on famously. Friendship was all she saw in Elvis. A kinship, both having sense of humours and cheekiness that matched. Often spending their times together putting the world to rights over a cuppa sitting in Charles' kitchen.

They nearly missed his return, would have if the cold blast of the winter wind hadn't followed him and had blown through the house. The front door had closed so quietly, they both looked at each other in surprised, and it was Molly who poked her head around the door from the kitchen shouted as she saw him walking towards her. 

"What the bloody hell you doing home so early?" She asked jokingly, but so very pleased to see him as always. Smiling at him. The past days had been hard on him and as she looked at him now she noticed how drawn he looked. Guilt racked through her. 

"They haven't given you the sack as well mate." Elvis joked. Joining in with Molly's tease as Charles entered the kitchen. 

Both him and Molly laughed at the personal joke made at her expense but directed at Charles. Their laughing soon came to an abrupt stop though when they saw Charles just standing there. Motionless. His whole manner spoke of defeat. 

"I'm sorry Molly." Was all he said looking directly at her. Not taking Elvis in at all. "So very sorry." 

She looked at him, then stood to go near him, but some second sense in her told her to stay away, to stop and hold back. Self preservation she guessed. 

"What for?" She asked. Her voice full of suspicion. 

"It's Lane." He choked out. His eyes full of fear as he spoke. 

"What about her?" She very slowly, and deliberately asked. 

"She's accused me too." He never moved. "Inappropriate behaviour in the line of command...With her." He whispered out the last words. "She's wanting my actions investigated." 

"What?" Both Molly and Elvis shouted out together. 

"That's crap though isn't it Charlie?" Elvis asked. Speaking where Molly couldn't. Staring at his friend, longing for reassurance. 

Charles said nothing. His eyes pleading with Molly's. Desperate to get her to understand. To forgive. 

"Nah. It's not. Is it Charles?" Molly said very softly. The tears rolling down her face. Knowing she was to learn something she didn't want to learn. 

"No." Was all he said. 

"What the hell mate?" Elvis shouted. Banging the table in anger with his fist. "You and bloody Lane. What she's saying is true?" 

Molly stood stock still. Watching him, almost failing to hear the words of pleading forgiveness that were coming out of his mouth 

"I'm so sorry Molly. So sorry." He said again. 

"So tell me Charles. Is it true?" She simply asked. 

"Yes." Was his answer. 

And with that her world broke apart.


	15. Chapter 15

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 15**

She sat sipping her hot tea and feeling the biting cold around her. Sitting there alone on the frozen bench she understood why her parents used to do it. They used to spend hours of their day standing outside, hanging over the rusty balcony whatever the weather, smoking it away. Some hopeful part of her believe they smoked outside to protect her, concerned for her health, but inevitably she realised it wasn't true. They never considered her. Now she totally knew they used smoking as an excuse to get away, mainly from her, and to make it all stop for a while. And that's exactly, she thought, what she was doing, sitting there in the biting cold she was almost numbed, her senses feeling frozen by the winter weather, and it felt good. On waking she'd only briefly stopped to pull on a puffa jacket over her PJs, before heading outside. To sit numbed by the cold start of the day, and it felt good not to feel for a while. 

The night before was still fresh in her mind. Sleep hadn't really come. Too much to think about, too much to remember. The confession, his confession.

Initially Charles had tried to explain as best as he could, but he was wracked with guilt, uncertainly, disgust. He tried so hard to tell her what had happened with Georgie, but the words just wouldn't come right for a while. Too confused, too amazed at the situation he was now in.

And so the three of them stood silent for minutes after his admission. Eventually thought it was Elvis who changed the situation. His disgust in his friend so obvious, his need to protect Molly from Charles' actions an influencing factor. He needed to know even if she didn't. He knew then there was nothing he wouldn't do for this amazing woman, who deserved the truth.

"You'd better tell us what the hell's been going on." He shouted at Charles who had continued to remain blindsided by it all. 

Molly saw Charles visibly wince at his mate's loud voice, but it snapped him out of the repetitive apologies he had so far only been able to mutter. Before she had held back, stood her ground, but now she went over to him. Her heart though wounded, still cared, still wanted, and still needed to listen. 

"Come on Charles. Sit down." She kindly said leading him to a chair. 

He followed, grateful that she hadn't ran. His worse fear. 

"Shit. I can't believe this. It bollocks though you know that don't you?" He looked pleadingly at her. "It's not what it sounds like." 

"Tell me." She softly answered, stroking his face. She could see that her Charles, the man who had lived by the Army's rules and regulations being accused of breaking them was himself being broken because of them. 

He smiled sadly at her, but held on to her hand and kissed it. 

"Oh God Molly. I wouldn't. You know me?" She nodded to his statement. She knew it to be true. "It was my leaving do from two section. Well I'd already left actually, weeks before. She cornered me on the way to the toilets. She kissed me." 

"What the shitting hell type of fetish has she got with toilets?" Molly asked, but it didn't put him off. He just continued as though he hadn't heard her. 

"I was drunk. You know enjoying myself with my old section. For once not in charge of them. I let my guard down." He scanned to look at Elvis. Needing him to hear this too.

"She kissed me. Total shock, but for a moment, only a moment or two...I kissed her back." He finished. Looking at both his friends, the shame in his face noticeable. 

"For God's sake Charlie." Elvis roared, no trace of sympathy, throwing his hands up in the air. Molly stayed quiet. She just held on to his hand that had found its way into hers. "What is it with you and my ex birds?" He demanded.

"Elvis." Molly snapped. "Shut the fuck up. That's not helping." 

"You'd left, months before. We were over." Charles turned to explain to her. "I'd never given her a second thought. Knew she was friendly, but that was all." He laughed at his naivety. 

"It's ok. I understand. I think." Molly tried.

Elvis just shifted uncomfortable at the other side of the kitchen. He controlled his emotions, for Molly's sake, they were only noticeable in the clenching and unclenching of his fists. Yet he was so angry at his mate. Angry that he'd put himself in a position to be accused. Angry that what he had done was hurting Molly. Angry that as he watched them together he saw only forgiveness from Molly above any other feeling. That without even trying his mate had gained her forgiveness... because above all else she really did love him. 

"I didn't realise at first, was too drunk. Just responded I guess... then when I knew we were kissing I pulled away... left." He snatched his hands from hers and buried them into his bent head. "Shit this is going to ruin me." 

On seeing his mate so broken Elvis' kind heart took over. His basic alpha male instincts giving way to his caring side. He loved Charlie like a brother and he was hurting. He went over and put a conciliatory hand on his friend's shoulder. Charles raised his head, and the two friends shared a smile of understanding.

"No it's not. You weren't in charge. You'd left. She wasn't in your chain of command anymore." Molly pulled his head towards her, tipping his chin, so she could look into his eyes. "You did nothing wrong." 

"But I kissed her." His eye pleaded with her. 

"You were pissed. You were jumped on. Don't worry." Molly reasoned. 

"Yeah but mud sticks." He sighed out. 

"Not in this case mate. No mud to stick." Elvis finally offered. "You'll see."

"Hell Molly it's the last thing you need. Me and my troubles." He said. 

"Humph. I think you've got that round the wrong way mate." She exclaimed. "It's me and all my troubles that have brought this on you." 

They smiled at each other, both the victims of Lane's accusations. These accusations were meant to destroy them, either individually or together, but were having the opposite effect. They were making them stronger. 

Elvis saw it all. 

"Right Charlie. Molls. I'm off." And without any further words left. Left his best mate with the woman who he loved. 

"Hell I need a drink." Charles exclaimed once alone and waving the bottle of wine at her he poured her one too. 

She giggled taking a big gulp, despite the earliness of the afternoon. 

"Let's get pissed." She giggled. Their crisis for now suspended as she moved to be held in his arms. Her safe place and now his safe place too. 

And that was what lead her to sitting outside in the grey early morning freezing herself. An attempt to clear her head, settle her stomach and deal with the hang over her and Charles had earned after drinking themselves happy the night before. 

She watched him walk gingerly into the kitchen. Raising his hand as he turned to acknowledge her in his garden. Every move, every action was slow and his face frequently winced with pain; he was suffering too. He was suffering just like her and not just all down to the alcohol. Drunken talking helped them both bare their souls, expose their fears over the whole mess they were in. No solutions, but it felt god that they had each other to turn to, to share it all with. 

"What you doing out here Dawes." He kissed her head as he pulled his dressing gown around him. Totally ineffective against the biting temperature. The frost in the air causing his breath to float around them. "You must be freezing your bits off." 

"Yeah I am." And watching him shiver and hearing his teeth chatter she stood up. Her time for cathartic numbness was over. "Come on let's go in." 

She suddenly realised just how cold she was. The heat of the house warming her up and the pain to her fingers and toes testament that she really had spent too much time outside thinking. Charles moved to sit on the radiator, and she joined him. Perching their bums side by side on it. Sharing a smile as they did so. Shoulders brushing each other's.

"You ok? He asked. Both of them now finding their feet fascinating. Heads bowed and no eye contact made. It wasn't just Charles' head that was delicate, although she had been calm, his confidence in her and her staying power was delicate too.

"Yeah. I am. You?" She asked back. "Sorry. Stupid question I guess?" 

"No. Not really. I'm just bloody grateful you're still here." He admitted.

"Of course I am." She tried not to sound too hurt by his wavering faith in them. "I told you no more running. Besides you did nothing wrong." She bumped herself into him playfully. 

Still he didn't look up. 

"I kissed her though, or allowed her to kiss me." He rectified. 

"Yeah. Not thrilled about that, but it was me own fault really." She said, and finally he looked up, watching her with surprise. Questioning. "If I hadn't left, you wouldn't have been in that position. Sad. Single." 

He sighed. "God I wish you hadn't left." He said wistfully. "Though I doubt even that would have stopped her." 

"Yeah, but I did... leave." She spun herself round to stand between his legs, loving the heat radiating from him. "You never cheated. You never broke any rules. You're a good bloke Charles and I love you." 

He went to kiss her, but she pulled away. 

"Oh God. No. I need to brush me teeth, then water, Paracetamol and more sleep. You can cuddle me, but that's all. Me heads banging." 

"Deal." He laughed as he moved across to fulfil her requests.

"Me too Dawes. Heads throbbing." And nodding to the empty wine bottles on the kitchen table from their session the night before. "Think that may have something to do with it... either that or we're coming down with something?" He teased. 

She laughed with him, but was already quitting the room heading back for their warm, totally able to block out the rest of the world, energy restoring, bed. 

Hours later she woke up smiling, as she was tightly held into him. His arms possessively pulling her into his stomach as her back moulded to him willingly. Almost unconsciously in their slumber they had used each other for support, just as they did in their waking hours. The smell of him, or of them, wafted around as they stirred under the duvet, comforting her, and proving to her there was nowhere else she rather be. 

They still hadn't slept long enough though to have their hangovers chased away, and both would have remained asleep longer if her phone hadn't woken her. Choosing at first to ignore it, she let it ring. Needing to be cocooned by him for longer meant that whatever was disturbing them could wait. However whoever it was wasn't giving up as she glanced at the screen wearily. 

Within seconds though she was pulling away from him. Making him groan in protest. It was a number she recognised. It was important. 

"Molly Dawes." She answered with as much clarity her fuzzy sleep addled brain would allow. 

She listened attentively, and confirmed her understanding and attendance, taking it all in. Charles noticing how alert she was began to appreciate the importance of the call, his grumbling stopped and he sat himself up instantly to support her. 

"They want me to report back to barracks tomorrow at 10." She announced to him after she ended the call. "They've the results of their findings to go through with me." 

"Did they say anything else?" He asked watching as the anxiety was projected onto her playing with her phone in her hands. 

"Nah. Said they couldn't say. Just be there." Throwing the phone down in disgust. Disgusted with it as it had been the bearer of potentially bad news. She moved and lay across his bare chest, as he stretched his arms out to hold her. "Shit Charles this is it." 

The rest of the day was ruined. Too much nervous energy from them both, the hangover not improving their moods. Both spent the day with their own worries, and danced around each other with caution. She turned down his offer to go with her. She needed to do this part alone, even though she saw the fear and rejection in his eyes when she told him that.

But they both knew he had his own battles to fight and she encouraged him to use their time apart to start the fight to clear his name. 

The next morning therefore found her smart, on time and nervously standing outside her CO's office. The calming words of Charles and his parents on her drive up still humming in her ears. They had all known the drive would have been long and painful for her so like a pre rehearsed operation between themselves and Smurf, she had been in-undated with pointless, but gratefully accepted, telephone calls to distract her. To stop her fearing what was in her heart. That Georgie had won this battle. 

"Come."

The order was barked out and she was surprised to see a set of faces friendly smiling back at her as she marched in. All the faces she knew, one not so well and she was very surprised to see. Relief though her main feeling that at least Georgie bloody Lane wasn't there to see her downfall first hand. 

She stood to attention the whole time while introductions, explanations, reasons and decisions were made. Not once did they ask her to stand easy, this was all too official.

They began by telling her it would be brief. And that it was. The most efficient way to rip a plaster off she guessed... quickly. 

She was surprised though. The panel of four sitting in front to of her, including her CO, all told her that there was no case to answer for. The accusations completely unsubstantiated. An independent review of her decisions, those involving Lane and others over the months all had shown only due diligence, professionalism and compliance of the rules in all areas.

He CO smiled at her. Genuinely happy. Happy for her and happy for himself. She had been exonerated. 

The investigation was over, no reference of this would be on her file. The claims by Lane were deemed utterly fabricated, and Molly was free to resume back at work the following week. And so just like that, professionally at least, Molly's world righted. 

"Molly. Sargent Dawes. Molly. Wait please." A voice called out after she had quit her CO's office. A new bounce in her step. 

The smile still fixed on her face as she fumbled for the telephone to call Charles. She turned, annoyed at the interruption. 

"Jacqui?" Was all she replied back. Elvis' old girlfriend, her former squash competitor, and now it seemed her saviour. 

She had been surprised to see Jacqui sitting behind the desk. Surprised to see that she had been one of the independent investigators that had been reviewing her work. Now she was even more surprised to see her chasing her down the corridor for a chat. 

"Look can I have a word please?" She asked. "Must have been a bit of a shock seeing me in there like that ? Eh?" 

"Well yeah. Actually. You could say that." Was all she could say. She wanted out of there, put today behind her, and she wanted to speak to Charles so desperately. Knowing he'd wait, full of anxiety, until she called. 

"Look. I just wanted to say I do I lot of these reviews and...well I'm impressed. You're good. There was nothing. Everything 100% perfect." 

"Thanks. She said bashfully. Then accepting the hand of friendship Molly continued the conversation. "So you do a lot of this type of thing?" 

"Yes, sadly, for my sins. I get called in a lot to do these type of investigations. There's always someone not happy about assessment outcomes. Some good, some bad. Some easy, some hard. Yours... easy. From day one." 

Molly smiled again.

"Thanks. And thanks for what you did. It means a lot. Clearing my name. Look I'd best be going though." She pointed to the direction of the exit. "I need to tell my boyfriend and that." 

"Oh yes. Of course. Sorry didn't mean to stop you." Then added as an afterthought. "Mum said that Elizabeth mentioned about you and Charlie... Nice. Anyway I've got to go too. Start two weeks leave as from now. Off to see the folks actually." Then turning to go she said over her shoulder. "It was nice seeing you again Molly. And well done. I'm pleased I helped clear your name." 

She waited until she was in the car to telephone Charles. She needed privacy. The accusations by Lane that she had been unprofessional now dismissed were a huge relief. One step out of their nightmare, but there was still more hurdles to go. Her assault charge, and Charles' of inappropriate behaviour with Lane still a present threat to them, and so although the telephone call was a happy one, with great relief, they both knew that there was a long way to go. 

As she stepped into his waiting arms once she arrived home, there were no words left for them to express how they both felt. Instead they just hugged, tightly and for a long time. Only reluctantly stepping apart, when practicalities made them do so. 

Of course their conversation when it did start, was all about Molly's day and her good news, as they sat next to each other, wrapping themselves around each other's bodies. Soon however the conversation turned to Charles' day. He sighed deeply at the mere thought of it. His day had been a truly dreadful one, apart from the one good piece of news from Molly, it was a day he wished he never had, hearing news that he didn't want to hear, and now he had to tell Molly. Shattering the fragile happiness she had from today's decisions. Yet he didn't know where to start. 

"You know these frown lines are getting deeper and deeper each day." She said as stroked lovingly the definite line between his eyebrows. "And I think it's got even deeper since I left this morning. Am I right?" It was his barometer for the amount of stress and worry he was under. 

He nodded, and tipped his head back into the couch. Drawing in a heavy breath. 

"Yeah. I've some news." 

"You gonna tell me? Cause I already know it ain't good." She said repositioning herself so they were now sitting facing each other. "Charles?" 

"I've two pieces actually. Sorry. Both as shit as each other." He looked at her. "They, the MPs, are passing your case over to the local police. They think that there might be a case to answer to." He paused as he watched the colour drain for her face. "You'll hear officially tomorrow." 

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Was all she could say. "You mean the proper police are going to look into her lies about me?" 

"Yes. Sorry." He didn't go to hold her. He didn't move. He had frozen under the weight of all the possibilities this could mean for her, for them. 

"God. I could be charged, prosecuted? Found guilty even? When I never did a bleeding thing." She quietly reasoned with herself, almost. 

He knew his role in this drama and stepped up.

"It could be a good thing." He said. "The police they are pretty good, they can tell a fabricated claim at 100 paces. It will probably help your cause. Clear your name?" 

"You think?" A small rush of hope over came her with his words, as was his intention. "Yeah. They'll sort this out. Shit from clay and all that." She mused. 

She sat herself back next to him. 

"You said you had two bits of news. What the other?" She mock laughed. "Please tell me it's good news." 

"No. Sorry it's not. It's about me." He sat forward, holding his head in his hands. Shaking it from side to side. "More crap I'm afraid."

"Come on Charles. I'm listening." She said stoking his back. 

"They've a witness. Someone from two section. Saw me go into her room one night." He blurted it all out. It sounded bad no matter how he told her. 

"Oh." She said. No eruption, no rage. Just a simple 'oh'. 

He turned and looked at her, still his hands holding his head resting on his knees. 

"That's it? Was expecting more than that." He was amazed at her response the second time in 24 hours. 

"So they saw you go in yeah? Did they see you come out?" She simply asked. 

"No." Was all he offered. "Apparently not." 

"You did come out though Charles didn't you?" 

"Fuck yes Molly. I bloody did. It was a charity presentation evening in London. My old section were helping out with seating, programming and that. I was having problems with my cufflinks." He sat up and looked at her directly. "You know I always do. Always need help." 

She nodded at the simplicity of his confession. 

"So I knocked on her door. Asked for help with them. Went in. Moments. That was all...moments." He ran his hands viciously through his hair. "Bloody moment, innocent, but now it looks so bad. I was stupid." 

"Yep. It certainly does. You're a bloody arse Charles. Do you know how bad this looks." Then controlling herself she continued. " And I take it Lanes saying something happened when you went in. Right?" 

"Right." He replied.

"You never mentioned this before." She stated. "You know last night. Would have been a good time and that!"

"Yes. I know sorry. Never really thought about it." He honestly said.

"Any other times?" She saw him look hurt at her questing. "Now's not the time to economical with the fucking truth Charles." She spat out. Then realising her mistake, apologised. "Sorry. That's not fair."

"I'm not hiding anything Molly. Nothing happened...ever. She was my medic for God's sake. That's all. Totally out of bounds even if I'd wanted to." He pleaded, the swiftly added. "And I never bloody did... not once."

"Yeah. Well I don't think that's how she saw it mate! Or else she wouldn't be doing all this would she." She reached out and stroked his knuckles. "Any other times you were alone with her?"

"God Molly she was my medic. There'd be loads of times. All innocent in my eyes, but all could be looked on by others as something different." He said. "I never saw this one coming. I never thought there was anything there from her either."

"Yeah? Really? It's not looking that's how she saw it. Is it? Don't forget that you chose her over me to be your medic. She must have bloody loved that!" Molly reminded him, not too sure why as it was only another way in which all this mess could damage him.

He stared at her. This was fast becoming an unpleasant conversation. Quietly he said.

"You know why I did that. You, me working together... I just couldn't. Hurt too much."

"I know. It just bloody hurt me at the time Charles. For whatever your reasons were. Whatever they were you chose her, and that's what Georgie saw too." She was surprised that his choice, his actions, all those months ago still hurt her.

He stared at her, upset by her little outburst but also grateful that it hadn't been more severe. It was something they never talked about. He thought she'd understood. Yet again he'd been wrong.

Molly calmed down, knowing none of this was helping. This mess wasn't either of their faults. It was all down to Lane.

"It looks bad." She offered and went over to him. "That's all I'm saying."

"I know." He replied. Really. Really. Bad." He pulled her into him. "She's really messing it up for us isn't she?" He whispered, swallowing down the bubble of anger he had unreasonably towards Molly over her words. 

Her reaction however surprised him again. First no rage from her and now this. He was holding her as she rocked with hysterical laughter. 

"You could say that Charles." Through belly bursting laughs. "You could say that."


	16. Chapter 16

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 16**

The popping of the champagne corks and the cheers made her smile. Today was a day for smiling. Today was a day for celebrating, and she intended to do both. She was sharing this happy day with Charles and his family, and for what seemed like a very long time they all had something to finally celebrate, to enjoy. 

The truth was it was a double celebration. It wasn't just her and Charles' news that they were secretly toasting, but mainly his Mum's. Today was Elizabeth's birthday and in true Elizabeth style she was having an open house party to help her celebrate on a grand scale. The rooms of her beautiful home were once again filled with friends, family, well wishes. Lots of laughter, lots of people and lots of noise. Just how Elizabeth liked it. 

Unusually, though for her, initially she had been reluctant to have a big bash, worried about Charles and Molly's worries, not wanting to celebrate when they had so much to be concerned about. However once Charles told her his news, their news, she couldn't stop herself. And the party planning machine went once again into over drive. Everyone was there to celebrate her turning 60, but only a select few others knew there was another piece news to raise a glass too. 

It had been six weeks since Lane had accused Molly of assaulting her. Six weeks of Molly giving statements, being interviewed by the local Police, doubting herself and her actions on that night. Six weeks of worrying and waiting, until finally the day came when the judgement came through, and when it did the only word to describe what they felt was relief. Relief that very quickly turned to anger. Her accusations deemed false but there was to be no apology expected from Georgie Lane. Just the simple confirmation from the Police that there was no case to be answered to. Molly was totally in the clear. Others had apparently come forward about that night and had seen Georgie fall; sustain the injuries that she was attributing to Molly. Yet the final nail in Georgie's fairy tale coffin was she been caught on the car park's CCTV, injury free well after Molly had left, so there was no way Molly could have hurt her. Georgie apparently had made it all up out of spite. 

So now they were free of the charge, and learning that no action was even going to be taken against Lane for wasting police time, Charles and Molly felt angry. Their anger only slightly quelled on Charles hearing that Lane's CO was definitely looking into her conduct, and into her apparent mission to destroy Molly and Charles. She had tried to destroy them though, but instead it made them storing, she had failed. 

She had failed in all the areas of poison that she had dropped into their lives. For as far as her accusation went with Charles it had fizzled out almost within 48hrs after it had been made. It was, as everyone who knew Charles, had expected. That he was above and beyond reproach. Yet they had been equally as hard, anxiety fraught days for him, and for them. The claim quickly rubbished. Nothing to be investigated, no wrong doing, even if anything had happened. And so Charles went back to work, a little bit wiser and more focused, but with no stain in his character. Order had been restored. 

So once Elizabeth and Edward heard the news, knew Charles and Molly's lives were back on track Elizabeth started to plan. To plan her party, with the secret element of a joint celebration for those who knew. No one objected, Molly and Charles the happiest that had been for months, willing to accept anything in the permanent smiling state they had suddenly adopted. 

"Here's to you Molly Dawes." He cooed into her ear as he held her close. Her head perfectly resting on the crook of his shoulder thanks to her heels. "Here's hoping the rest of the year is better than the past six weeks." 

She pulled away from him, raising her eye brows in mock horror. Clinking their champagne flutes together. 

"I'm bloody with you on that one mate." And then kissed him. A giggly playful kiss that reminded them both of how close they'd been to losing it all, and how lucky they hadn't. 

"Love you." He smiled after the kiss. "And thank you." 

He looked sad momentarily and looking puzzled she lead him to the bottom of the stairs so they could talk. The drawing room too full, too noisy to have any type of intimate conversation. 

"I love you too." She said as she sat half turned between his knees on the bottom stair. "What's up?" 

"Nothing. After what we've been through nothing. I should be happy... and I am... it's just been hard. Thank you for staying with me." He sighed out. 

She watched him fiddle with the watch she had bought him. Something he had started to do a lot lately. As though the promise she'd given him engraved on it's back was irritating his skin. As though he constantly felt the words. 

"I know what you mean. But I was never gonna to go anywhere." She quietly answered him. "We're here. We're in the clear, and we're together. Nothing's going change that. Especially not Georgie Lane!"

He bent down slightly and kissed the top of her head, but remained silent. Fingers still running over his watch. The worry line on his forehead evident. He was lost in thought. 

"I still mean it you know?" She nodded her head towards his watch and smiled. Joining his fingers as he held his watch. Looking at him. Eye wise. Willing him. Hopeful. 

Her words startled him from his thoughts, and watching her too trail her delicate fingers across the watch he flushed. His thoughts, her words he considered. Maybe it was that they both finally were in sync, but still he hesitated. 

She was surprised. Now would have been the time for him to have said something, anything, but he didn't. He just pulled her hand up and kissed each and every knuckle, before placing it against his heart. 

"Charles..." She started. 

Again he had slipped away from her, was in his own daydream world right there in front of her. She needed to pull him back. 

"Mmmm." Was his lazy reply. Staring at her hand held in his. 

"I've been thinking..." 

The rest of the sentence never came. They were interrupted. 

"CHARLIE BOY." His name was shouted out as the front door burst open. "Molls." 

Elvis' arrival interrupted her intended speech, not that Charles had noticed she was about to make one. The booming of Elvis' voice pulled him back into their world and ever the good host he stood and welcomed his best mate. Molly sighed, the time lately had never been right. Whatever she had been planning to say would just have to wait, and the delay in telling him was making her doubt her plans. 

"Thought you were out of the country. Down in some fox hole somewhere." She offered to Elvis as he kissed her cheeks. 

"You know me Molls. I'd do anything for a party. Soon as I heard it was a double celebration I finished the job off quick." He gave her cheeky wink, slapping Charles congratulatory in the back. 

Charles shot him a look, which Molly caught and briefly wondered at it. So many times these two great friends had conversations with their eyes that no one could follow.

Charles offered nothing instead forcefully spoke.

"So Elvis you're here to celebrate my Mum's birthday and the clearing of our names? Yes?" He clarified slowly to Elvis. It seemed more like an instruction than a question.

Elvis looked confused, looking from Molly to Charles again, but recovered quickly. Years of training taking over, avoiding suspicion. 

"Well yes... that's rights mate. That's it." 

"Oh for fucks sake."

Hearing those words from Charles startled her. Then she saw he turned to his friend. "Elvis behave. This is my mother's house. Be nice." 

"Shit Charlie I'm always nice." He replied. "Didn't expect this though. A bit of warning might have helped."

"You weren't meant to be here remember?" Charles said and then turned away.

Molly had to move, both men were partially blocking her view. Then she saw. Down the hallway walking towards them was a beautiful woman that Molly instantly recognised. She smiled at her but was momentarily confused by the two friends reactions. Jacqui was elegantly dressed, showing off her beautiful body. Confident and obviously comfortable in Charles' family home. 

"Molly...Charles..." Jacqui greeted them, smiling, dropping kisses to both their cheeks. Her smile however fell immediately. "Oh bugger me sideways it the illusive Elvis!" A snarl almost appeared on her face. "Didn't think you'd be here. Hoped you wouldn't be."

The four of them stood awkwardly in the large hallway. Molly's head swivelling side to side taking in Elvis and Jacqui's faces, and the thick atmosphere. Knowing the two of them had dated, it still didn't explain, and she was lost as to why it was all so awkward. 

"Jacqui. Lovely to see you." Charles leaned in for a kiss. "Take it your parents are her too?" He smiled at her. They both tried to keep the politeness going. 

She nodded then turned to Molly. 

"Good to see you again Molly." 

"Yeah. You too and thanks...again... you know for what you did." She smiled at her despite the atmosphere.

"Good to see ya Jax." Elvis pipped up, almost peeping around Molly in a tone Molly had never heard him used before. Almost begging, contrite. He looked hopefully at her. 

"Can't say likewise." Jacqui frostily answered back turning her back on him yet again. 

"Any way don't want to interrupt. Just heard some gossip... thought you'd be interested in." She raised her eyes to Charles. 

Moly saw just how comfortable he was with her. Presumed from what Elizabeth had told her that they were old family friends too, but she didn't know, but needed to know what the story was with her and Elvis. 

"Your one woman career revoking machine has been discipline." Jacqui offered. 

At once she had everyone's interested. 

"Go on." Molly asked. 

"You haven't heard this from me right?" She looked at Molly and Charles. Still having her back firmly to Elvis. "An admonition, loss of privileges and for what she did to Molly a service and punishment order." 

"Shit. They came down hard didn't they?" Molly uttered surprised. 

"Yes they did." Agreed Charles as he pulled Molly into him. "It's what she deserved. She could have ruined you, me, us." He quietly added. Molly snakes her arms around him and held on in agreement. 

"She's staying in I take it?" Elvis asked and Jacqui completely ignored him. "I said is she staying in?" He tried again. 

"Anyway thought you'd want to know." She smiled at Molly and Charles. Never once addressing Elvis' question. "I'd best get back to my folks. Catch you later." And walked away, leaving them to utter their thanks at the news. 

Charles turned to Elvis. 

"Well that went better than I thought." He said. 

"Yeah? You reckon? She blanked me. Ignored me. Me...Elvis." He barked out at Charles. 

"Yeah well." Charles reasoned. "That's the closet you been together in over two years isn't it? At least you didn't make her cry this time mate." He laughed out. 

"Fuck off Charlie." Elvis cried out and stormed off. 

"What. The. Hell. Was. That. About?" Molly slowly asked. Eyes agog. Bewildered by the past few minutes. So much drama. She never seen Elvis so back footed in anyone's company before. 

"Long story." Charles pulled her down on the stairs they previously had been sitting on. Handed her champagne glass to her again. "Basically Elvis broke her heart once and she's never forgiven him." 

"Bleeding hell. You have to tell me it all. Charles." She looked shocked. "I knew they dated, but that's all. You can't leave it there." She urged him on. 

He sighed pulling his hand through his hair.

"It's complicated and bloody stupid. Plus it's a really long story." He added. 

"Oh come mate." She smiled sweetly at him. "You can give me the edited highlights at least. Can't you?" She knew he felt conflicted, his loyalty to his friend causing him to feel so. 

"Ok here goes. Basically his family, my family, her family all knew each other. Good friends. They became childhood sweetheart. They were equally smitten as each other." He smiled at the beautiful site of his love sitting between his legs avidly listening to his tale. One hand supporting her chin, resting in his leg. Watching his lips tell every word. 

"They survived school, different sixth form colleges, different universities, and then his cadet training, then her officer training...survived it all. Whatever they remained steadfast, in love. Totally inseparable. They were perfect for each other. Bounced off each other, spurred each other on. There's never ever really ever been anyone like her since in Elvis' life. She was good for him." He sighed. "I was jealous. I never had much luck with ladies. So I focused on my job, and just sometimes I'd wonder when I'd get my chance, fall in love like they had. 

She smiled up at him, stretched and stroked his face. She knew before they met, before they had found each other both were lonely. 

"Anyway one day he proposed. Out of the blue. Never even told me. She of course said yes, but said they should wait a while... until their careers were a bit more established. Hers in the RAF and him in the Army, it was never going to be easy." 

"Sounds good so far." Molly said. "I take it though Elvis missed it up? Cheated? Left her at the altar? Dropped a bombshell he had a secret love child somewhere?" Molly probed. 

"No. Worse than that." Charles continued. "Thought what he did was unforgivable. Ruined our parents friendships with hers. Even my friendship with her too suffered. I had to pick a side I guess." 

"Come on. What was it?" She asked eagerly. 

"He said NO." 

"No?" Molly spat out. "No to what?" 

"No...to waiting. Told her if she loved him she marry him as soon as. It was a once in a life time offer. Support him and his career. Say yes and marry now. There were several weeks of heartbreak, and at one stay I believe he even said that once the kids came along her career wouldn't even be an issue anyway." 

"Shit. The pig. Elvis? Thought he was modern man. He sounds prehistoric." She laughed half heartedly with surprise and a little bit of disgust. 

"God did he dig his heels in. Gave her a simple choice as he saw it...him or her career. She was heartbroken. Had worked so hard to get the where she was and he didn't just see it." Charles looked at Molly and softly kissed her head. "He was an arse. Threw away his love for some 1940s idea of marriage, and he lost her." 

Charles sighed, the pulled back to look at Molly.

"You know I'd never do that to you don't you?" He asked. Needing her to know. 

"What?" She teased. "Ask me to marry you? Or make me chose Army or you?" It had been intended as a joke, but fell flat. 

He flushed deeply at her reply, and never answered. The atmosphere becoming difficult. His hands ringing through his curls as a distraction. 

"So she left him?" Molly asked wanting the story to continue. Wanting to cover over her silly comment that had imposed on his mood. 

"No he left her. The argument, discussions went on for weeks, months. Neither one giving ground, but both too much in love to end it. Then one day he just went. First tour with S.F. Cut all contact with her. Never took her calls, wrote or saw her again." He shook his head remembering that time. "He really hurt her. She'll never forgive him."

Both were silent for a bit longer than intended. Both remembering when Molly too had walked, cut all contact, and had hurt them both so much. 

"Oh God that's awful." Molly mused over the facts. Sad for Jacqui and Elvis' love story. Ashamed for hers. "You do know that he still loves her don't you?" She asked. 

Charles chuckled pulling her to her feet. Getting them ready to circulate again.

"Oh yes Molly. I know that. You know that... just don't think Elvis does... and Jacqui certainly doesn't."

He walked into their bedroom at his parent's house many hours later. The house had stayed busy and full into the early hours. Everyone enjoying his parent's famous hospitality to their limits. He stopped and watched her sitting on the edge of the bed as he stood in the door way. Arms folded across his chest, a booming in his heart and a growing ache in his trousers at the love he had for her.

It had been weeks since they had been fully intimate, her monthly interruption and him away on a brief exercise, along with the worry had impacted on their love making. They'd been together, but not together together. Not in the way they enjoyed and had continued to enjoy frequently. Something he was now so acutely aware of as he watched her. One of her legs cocked over the other as she struggled with the buckle to her heels. Her face in concentration, unaware of his presence, beautiful and calm.

Within seconds he was on the floor kneeling at her feet. Helping her. She smiled softly at him, an afternoon of polite conversation making her slightly weary, and afternoon of drinking fizz making her very mellow. She allowed him to take over as she leaned herself back on her hands to watch him.

He never took his eyes off her, slowly undoing each buckle and throwing her shoes down. Then slowly he travelled his hands up her stockinged legs until they rested just at the top of her thighs.

"Don't stop." She murmured to him. She'd been enjoying the wandering of his hands. Her eyes now closed in the anticipation of it.

He circled her waist with his hands, pulling her to the edge of the bed. Surprising her, causing her eyes to flick open. Still on his knees but raised up they were now face to face. Her eyes stared in to his and she watched him move in and kiss her. Tender, tentatively, but with utter love and the need to process her with his lips. They tingled at the feathery delicateness of his touches as his lips graced and his tongue traced over hers. Sighing at the utter delight she felt in having this man pressing up against her fast responding body. Her catch up to his obvious ardour coming fast and willingly. 

"Charles." She moaned as his hand tantalised her dresses covered breasts and he pulled away. "Please."

She bucked her body forward slightly to allow more contact with his groin as her legs looped around his waist.

He stood, taking her with him, danced with her softly until they reach the head of the bed then he laid her down. The smile never leaving his face.

"I love you." She whispered, pulling her lower lip through her teeth.

He chuckled at her seductive attempts, giving her credit as they were working.

"Do you know what today is?" He said as he lay on his side next to her.

She moved her hands to start unbuttoning his shirt.

"The day I get lucky?" She teased. Then earning the stern look he usually reserved for the right fuck ups of his men she became serious. "Yeah. Yeah I do."

"Really?" He halted her fingers in the de-robing of him. "You do?" He tested her.

"Of course." She kissed his nose and settled onto his chest as he move

to his back. Her hands slipping in-between the shirt where she'd been successful in exposing some skin. "It's a year today."

He nodded, and though she couldn't see his face she felt the smile all through his body.

"That's right Dawes a year today since I came to your hotel room in Germany." He chuckled at her. "It's been a hell of a year."

"It has. The best." She still had her head rested on his chest when suddenly a small box was place there in front of her face. She whipped her head up.

"What's that?" She pointed at the rectangular box suspiciously.

"It's for you." He laughed out. Holding onto it as he dragged them both into a sitting position. "I bought you a gift." He said simply.

"Why?" She asked still not touching the beautiful box.

"Well because...and I don't... haven't... what with everything. Oh shit Dawes just opens the bloody thing please."

She slowly held open her hand as he placed it into her palm. She knew she loved it already.

"It's beautiful." She said as her hand hungrily picked it up. Offering it back to him to put it on her. "Go on then." She urged.

"You like it?" He asked delighted in her initial response.

Nodding her head she turned away from him as he fastened the beautiful delicate rose gold necklace

around her neck. Two delicate letters dangled from it. A perfectly intertwined C and M. Knitted together, firmly and crafted so that one could not see where each letter began or ended.

She'd never had a gift like this before from him nor any one, something so personal, so thoughtful. It startled her, but it made her realise just exactly what she had been feeling for such a long time now. That her actions, her choice was right. Knowing she'd have to tell him soon, but just not yet. Just not now, not wanting to spoil his moment.

"I had it specially made. For you... for us." He said as she knelt across him as he lay on the bed.

"I love it. Thank you... but why?" She asked as she kissed away the worry lines from his face.

Shrugging his shoulders, bashfully looking away from her intense gaze.

"It just made me realise over the Georgie thing, I never give you anything, showed you how much I love you. How much you mean to me."

"You give me plenty. You show me all the time. Charles I love you so much you know that right?" She asked.

"I do. And you show me too. I just wanted to spoil my girl. I guess." He smiled relieved by her acceptance of such a gift. It gave him hope for the future.

"Well you have. Spoilt me that is." Then reaching behind her she up zipped her dress and threw it up and over her head. "So now I guess it's my turn to show you." And slowly, lovingly and delightfully she did. Several times over the rest of their weekend together.

"Hey you. Take it you're back ok?" He asked looking at her all tucked up on her bed on the single, dull, room she inhabited the nights they were apart, at her barracks. 

"Looks that way don't it. She replied, slightly sulkily. 

He pulled his head back from the computer screen. Aware that she wasn't as happy as she should be. She looked sad, in fact she'd been sad most of the weekend and had at times been very quiet.

He knew she was finding it hard leaving him each Sunday night, they both were and this weekend, such a happy weekend had been even harder as they had left his partners house, her heading north, him heading south. Leaving each other yet again to be apart for the next week. 

"What's up?" He asked. "You've been quiet most of the weekend. You ok?" 

"Yeah." She shifted on her bed and he could see she was wearing the Peter Rabbit PJs he got her to celebrate their good news. She'd never been a heart and flowers type of girl, but soft fluffy cute PJs were her Achilles heel. "Just. You know." She said. 

"No I don't know. You going to tell me? Molly look at me please." He asked. 

She pulled her head up to look at him. Her new nervous habit of playing with the necklace he'd bought her catching his eye. She'd wanted to talk all weekend, to tell him, but the time was never right. She hadn't been brave enough, and it couldn't go on. 

"It's just hard you know... leaving and that." She spoken so very softly. "You there, me here." 

"Leaving? What being apart?" He asked. 

"Yeah every weekend. It's shit. Fridays are great I feel like my life is beginning, when I'm with you and then suddenly too quickly it's there... Sunday bloody night and I have to stop." She blurted out. "Get off and start all over again...without you." 

It surprised him. He hated the Sunday night goodbyes, knew she did too, but presumed it was the drive back the return to work she was hating. Not the missing of them, of him so much. 

"Say something." She asked. 

"God I hate it too Molly. You know that. So much." He reassured her. "You know I find it tough, I've told you often enough." He paused before he said too much. 

"Yeah. I know. It's just... well I've gone and done something." She looked at him on her iPad screen. Guilty. "Hope you won't be mad." 

They hadn't even been back together for a year yet. Not really, and everything that they were, how they functioned, what they were to each other she'd stated once again to question. Hours and hours of it going around in her head. Hours of debating, planning and finally choosing her destiny. 

"What's going on Molly?" He asked. Fearful, but only slightly, but still he sensed a change in her. "Come on spill." He asked. 

"We should have talked before now. I've let it go on too long. Just I didn't want to spoil what we had. She answered him back." Still giving nothing away. 

"Molly." He shouted out. She jumped. "Just bloody tell me." 

"I've asked for a transfer." She said bravely. "And I've got it." 

He raised his eyebrows, his mouth forming words but nothing came out. Not yet he needed to tread carefully. 

"Where?" Was all he asked. 

"Bovington." She answered back straight away. Pulling her face into a confused look. Trying to read him, his response. She stayed quiet. 

"Bovington?" He answered back. "As in twenty minutes down the road from me Bovington?" He asked, a smile starting to take over his face. 

"Yeah? Is that ok? I want to be near you. You know see each other more that weekends and that." She saw the smile but needed to hear the words. "Is that ok?" 

"OK? Hell Molly that brilliant." He leaned into the screen. "God I wish I could hold you, kiss you. Why didn't you bloody say?" He laughed out. 

"Tried." It was the truth but it was also the truth she hadn't tried too hard. She'd worried about his reaction. Worried she'd moved too fast. "So it's really ok then?" 

"Oh my love its bloody wonderful." He laughed out. "Bloody wonderful. When?" 

"Mmm. Not too sure. Me CO thinks anytime up to six, eight weeks." She told him. 

"Perfect." And watching her carefully he said. "It will give us time to find you somewhere to live. Or are you planning on barracks again?" 

And with those words the new excitement, the plans, the dreams she'd had in her heart came crashing down around her and he saw it all. He saw she was hurt by his words. Slowly, he counselled himself, go very slowly Charles so not to scare her away. 

"Molly? I mean. I don't know." He was looking for the right words, pulling his hand through his curly locks. "You could if you wanted to move in with me." 

He watched her face on the screen of his computer. Frozen. For seconds, moments he felt as though he'd once again blown it.

"Really. Are you sure. Move in with you. Major is that even allowed?" She giggled. Then seeing the panic on his face she rushed on. "I'd bleeding love to Charles. Bleeding love to. Thought you'd never ask."


	17. Chapter 17

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 17**

It was still one of her favourite sounds ever. She doubted she'd ever stop loving it. The noise his key made as he turned it in the lock to their home. The home they had now shared for just over three very happy months. 

Her move to a new base, her need to stop leaving him every Sunday night had taken its time, their need to be together had taken slightly more than the eight weeks promised. Yet the wait was worth it and it all worked out, allowing Charles to give up his accommodation so they could move into something rented of their own, finding something perfect half way between both their places of work. And so even after three months of living together, feeling the most settled she had ever felt, the sound of his key opening their front door still thrilled her. It was a sound proving to her that her true love was home. 

Charles' work colleague all had seen a change in him. Molly's new colleagues just accepted it, for now neither of them stayed late at work anymore if they could help it. Always 100% efficient, focussed, while at work, but once home time came they no longer needed to hang around. They no longer needed to do that one final thing, instead they both rushed home to see one another. Home to their favourite place, and to their favourite person.

In the past three months they had even declined every inevitable social invitation the summer months brought too. Both were just enjoying this new sensation of living and sharing with the person you loved the most. No one but them for now. Learning about each other in a way that was deeper than before, but just as wonderful. Stumbling through the inevitable teething problems, but always coming through. They were just two very independent 30 year olds finally sharing their lives for the first time, and they loved it.

"Hello you." He kissed her as she met him at the kitchen door. Smiling at the perfect scene of domesticity. 

"Hello you." She hung onto him, enjoying reconnecting with him physically after a day separated by their work. Noticing, as always on a Monday night, his hands carried a gift. 

Monday nights had now turned into their favourite night of the week, closely followed by all the others they shared together. Both knowing that previously when they had lived apart Monday nights used to be the loneliest, saddest of nights. The night where they used to miss each other acutely, after spending the weekend together. But all that changed three months ago. Monday mornings and especially Monday nights were now to be celebrated because they'd shared the weekend and still didn't have to leave each other. 

And so to mark the occasion every Monday night for the past three months Charles had always brought her a gift, a present, he'd pick up on his way home to her. It was a only a mere token, but was intended to show how happy he was, how grateful he was to be coming home to her instead, of a sad, empty, lonely house. 

Tonight therefore was no exception. Usually he brought flowers, or a bottle of wine, or even a bag of mixed sweets for her to munch on while watching TV. Always something, not expensive, not flashy but to Molly these gifts were priceless. 

She pointed to his full hands. Fuller than usual. Tonight he had wine, flowers and sweets. 

"What you got there?" She asked child like as he held his hands up to show her.

She laughed when he saw his hands were full.

"And what you've gone and done that you have to bring me so many gifts?" She teased, giving him a mocked hard stare. 

Grinning he answered.

"Wine, flowers, AND chocolates. Didn't know which one to buy or which one we bloody needed the most." He dropped his gifts onto the counter top and pulled her in for a hug. "I think Dawes after the weekend we've had we deserve a treat." 

She snuggled into his rough jacket. Worn and smelly, hard on the delicate skin on her face, but she loved it. Well over due for a new one, but he held onto the faded thing and she knew she too would never let it be replaced either because it was so very much part of him. 

"It wasn't that bad was it?" She giggled as she felt him draw in a dramatic breath. Turning her back to inspect the tulips he'd bought. She'd never been a flowers type of girl before, and had been at a bit of a loss the first time he'd brought her some home, but now this new Molly, the one who only saw romance and happiness with Charles, loved his regular floral gestures. 

"No. I love him, but God I pleased it was only for two nights." 

She moved away arranging the flowers, while he popped the wine in to chill. Both working around each other as they started the prep for the evening meal. 

"But you enjoyed it. Yeah?" She asked. Worried it has all been too much. "Having him here?" 

To help Smurf and Rebecca out, who were giving their marriage another go, they'd had William to say over for the weekend. An almost three year old bundle of energy, noise and stickiness... not forgetting the constant questions. Very quickly she understood the happy grins on Smurf and Rebecca's faces as they handed him over and quickly disappeared down the garden path.

It had been hard work, but surprisingly Molly loved. Something she would never have thought would have pleased her so much. The sight of Charles cuddling on to an adorable toddler had started to do funny things to her ovaries. This stern faced Major having tickle fights and blowing raspberries onto William's plump little tummy had Molly within the first hours of his stay very broody. The feeling hadn't gone away, and she knew it wouldn't. 

"Yeah. I did, but he's a bit of a handful isn't he?" Charles said. "Don't think I sat down all weekend. You were good with him though." 

She turned round and stopped chopping the veg. 

"Has it put you off?" She quietly asked. 

"Put me off what?" Charles asked not noticing her earnest look. More focused on the marinade for the steak than the conversation. 

"Having kids?" She asked a little too abruptly. 

He spun round, she looked scared. He fast caught up with her mood all too aware that his answer was important. That this conversation, springing up from nowhere mattered. 

"No" He tried to say but the words were hardy loud enough to come out of his dry mouth. Suddenly he was very nervous. "No." He said again louder. "And you?" He hesitated just for a second before he asked. 

He saw her smile and knew the answer. 

"No." She said. "Never thought I'd be saying this but...I think I want kids." Suddenly her bravery ran out. "No I do. Is that ok?" 

He rushed over to her and snatched her up into his arms. Regardless of the knife she held, or the garlic stained hands belonging to him. 

"Yes. It's so Ok." He kissed her. "Just never thought... you'd... want to. But yes I do... with you. Together." 

They smiled at each other for a while. Then a cloud passed over her face.

"You ok?" He wondered out loud. 

"Do you think I'd be a good Mum?" She asked quietly. It was a fear she had. "You know I haven't had the best role models and that." 

"Hey." He said as he stroked her hair away from her face with the back of his wrist. "You'll be brilliant. Like you are with everything." 

"Thank you, but you know I worry. I worried back then, before, us and that, and I'm worrying now. I might turn out like me parents." Tears filled her eyes. 

"Not you Molly. Not my love. Never...not you." He kissed her forehead then rested his on hers. "I've never known anyone with so much love in their heart." 

"It was one of the reasons I ran last time. You know that don't you? Just couldn't see me self as that person. That grown up. A Mum." She looked so deeply into his eyes. "Knowing I wouldn't make you happy. Running was easier than to admit." 

"Molly. Please don't. Before you weren't ready." He kissed her nose. "But you are now?" He asked with hope, rather than deliver the words as a statement. 

"Yeah. I really am." She smiled back at him. "And you? You want kids?" 

She looked up at him and saw him nodding towards the chaos that was their sitting room. The mess and semi destruction of having a toddler in their home still evident. They both took it all in and laughed both on the same page as they spoke out together. Nodding saying. 

"Just not for a while." 

"Charlie Boy. One case of beer and one bottle of champagne." Elvis greeted his friend on the doorstep. 

Charles smiled and taking the offerings he nodded for his friend to step into his and Molly's home. It was a glorious early summer's  
day and thankfully it was going to stay that way. They had both started to realised that for too long they had been exclusive. They now needed to start making friends. And so their large garden being put into good used as today they were hosting a moving in party, and to keeps the destruction to a minimum they had opted for a small marque in the garden. An easy job to put up with the help of willing volunteers Molly had organised. Hence Elvis' presence. 

Taking the offered gifts Charles raised his eyes brows at the champagne. 

"Thanks. And wow one very fine and expensive bottle of champagne there Elvis. You are aware of that I take it?" He asked his friend. Holding it up so his friend could inspect the label. 

"Well thought the occasion marked it and all that you know." Said Elvis as he raided the fridge. 

"What a moving in party?" Charles laughed snatching away the salads Molly had prepared the night before. She'd done most of what need to be done before she left. And now was out playing squash and wouldn't be back until much later. Leaving the final arrangements of the party and the marquee situation down to Charles and Elvis. 

"Now. Now Charles. Don't be a tease. You know that I know this is more than that." Elvis chuckled out as he sat down kicking his feet up onto the kitchen table. 

Charles slapped them off. Irritated. 

"No it's not." Picking up on Elvis' meaning straight away. "And don't you bloody well say anything to anyone especially Molly. Do you hear me?" Charles barked at his friend. Worried he'd ruin it all. 

Elvis laughed pointing his finger accusingly at his mate. 

"Think you protest too much mate." Then seeing he had wound Charles well and truly up, and enjoying it, he continued. "So have you got a ring for her this time?" 

Charles blushed furiously. 

"I'm warning you Elvis. Not a word. Please." 

"Oh shit he has." Elvis suddenly became serious. Mirroring Charles' expression. "So you're going to do it again then are you? Ask her?" 

"Shut up." Whispered Charles, looking around him. Closing the kitchen door for more privacy. Even though Molly was out and the house was emptily he still spoke quietly. "But yes. Since you ask. I do have a ring. I will ask her but...just not yet." Charles felt a degree of relief at his confession to his best mate. 

"Woah! Mate. You ok?" He saw Charles pale and worried in front of him. 

"Yes. No" He sat heavily down, staring at his feet. Losing all eye contact with his mate, who for once showed a degree of empathy. "It's just you know after last time." 

Elvis just listened. Listened as Charles told him a story he already knew, about how he'd asked Molly on three separate occasions and she'd said no and then ran. He listened because when it came to affairs of the heart he had a past history of being a total screw up. So listening was all he could do. 

Elvis wasn't surprised at how effected Charles was at the end of his brief tale. Noticing him struggling at times to keep hold of the emotions from his voice.

"You can see why I'm a bit...you know... worried." He eventually tried to choke out in a false laugh. "I can't lose her." 

"Mate." Elvis said patiently and gently. "That girl loves you. Everyone can see that." He walked over and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Have a bit more faith in her mate. She won't run this time." 

Charles merely nodded his head and quietly said. 

"I'm terrified. What if I lose her again Elvis?" Then looking into the eyes of the friend he had known the longest, he said. "I can't do that, go through that again." 

"I don't know mate, but you've got to try yeah? Besides you said yourself things are different. She's different."

Elvis went and opened two beers. Both in need for a drink. The events of the afternoon not turning out quite how Elvis has expected. But he knew what it felt like to be in turmoil over a woman you loved. It never went away. 

"She loves you mate." He carried on as he folded himself onto the kitchen table. Oblivious of the scowl Charles have him as he drew his feet onto a chair. "You have to believe that's enough." And that's all he could say, and that's all Charles could do. Believe. 

"Good morning." Charles laughed as she entered the room. "Or should I say afternoon?" Looking at the clock, pointing out the sun was definitely over the yard arm. 

Molly walked slowly and carefully into the sitting room looking awful. Still dressed in her PJs and dressing gown. Her hair with an effort pulled onto a messy ponytail, and traces of last night's make up still evident on her eyes. 

"How you feeling?" Charles asked as she snuggled cat like down into his side, causing him to put the book down he was reading to hold her properly. 

"Awful. Like death. Bloody rough mate." She moaned out.

He laughed at her accurate assessment, appreciating she looked just as bad as she felt.

"Well I guess that's what you get when you try to keep up with Elvis and his team." He held her a bit tighter. "Vodka shots and dancing to ABBA till three in the morning is a young man's game it would seem."

She snorted out her agreement.

"How come you weren't pissed then?" She asked.

"Ah well you see Dawes. That's where my superior officer training comes into its own." He teased. "One, I partook of a fair portion of the food you prepared. Lined my stomach. Two, I had one shot to their every two. And finally, three, my love and this is the most important."

She slapped him playfully on the arm.

"Cocky bugger. Just get on with it." She moaned.

"Well three Dawes. When I came to doing the shots I switched my vodka to water."

"What?" She yelled. "You bleeding cheated?"

He nodded snuggly at her, laughing at the profanities she utter under her breath at his under handiness.

Eventually though she stopped and they sat on compatible silence.

Molly eventually looked around the room they were sat in and took in her surroundings. The house was tidy and amazingly seemed all sorted. 

"You've tidied up?" She asked raising her eyes to his in secret "Thanks."

"Yeah. Thought I'd do something while you slept." He kissed her head. "Hungry. Anything I can get you?" He kindly asked. 

She just shook her head, even that action hurt. 

"Sorry." She said in a tiny voice. 

Her contrition startled him. "Hey what's up? You ok?" 

"No. I fucked up again didn't I?" She replied. "Sorry for getting so pissed. Sorry for christening the toilet, sorry you had to hold me hair and that, and sorry you had to tidy up without me." 

He turned slightly so he could look at her face. She seemed very upset. He couldn't help teasing her one more bit though.

"Now Dawes don't forget christening the flower beds too!" And seeing her shocked face he continued. "What you forgot about that? It doesn't matter though. I'm sure the contents of your stomach will fertilise them or something!" 

"Oh God. Did I make a fool of myself." She asked. "Are you angry." 

He hugged her tightly, too tightly as she let out a small gasp and wiggled to free herself slightly. 

"No. Never. Not at all my love...not at all." 

They sat there quietly talking for a while. Molly asking the odd question trying to remember the events from last night. Charles only half listening, half giving her his attention as he continued to try to hide his degree of disappointment about the events of the night before.

After his talk with Elvis, after some physical solid alpha male labour and more bonding, Charles had steeled himself up to ask her again. He kept looking for the perfect moment. The right time. Yet he couldn't find one and his nerves didn't hold out. Then Molly became involved with the SF lads, drank too much, and he resigned himself that it was just never going to happen for them tonight. So the ring stayed firmly in his work coat pocket. Ready to be taken back to its hiding place in his office drawer again on Monday, and to stay there until he felt brave enough to try again. 

It was Molly who changed the mood. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you." She said as she raised herself up to kiss him. "And I don't just mean last night, or today. I mean always, forever." 

She stroked away the worry line deep on his brow. He looked up at her with confusion and total love. 

"You're always there for me." She continued. "You're always the one who looks out for me. I love you." She kissed his face lightly dozens of time to prove her point. "Thank you." 

"I love you Molly. Plain and simple. Couldn't imagine my life without you." He replied and their eyes locked together. 

Yet still he couldn't ask her. This would have been the perfect time as she sat looking into his eyes, hopeful, but his brain's logic over took the longing of his heart. Reasoning she was too hung over, she was still in her PJs, she was delicate. Not the romantic setting he'd hoped for, and maybe neither had she. So he kept his mouth shut and just accepted her words and kisses. 

He did however feel more hopeful than he had before. A huge happy bubble of hope now existed that when he did ask her she'd say yes. Everything for once was on track, and their future looked certain.

How so very wrong he was. 

It was the finding of the lump that changed their world. Put all thoughts of romance out of their heads. They were only able to deal with the here and now. The immediate future was all they could focus on. 

Molly found the lump one evening after their love making. Both hands entwined and stroking each other's bodies as they came down from the ecstasy of highs they had both reached. Hands so closely held that they knew not whose body they were touching and when. All so beautiful, until that moment she felt the lump. 

She made him feel it too. To confirm her findings. It was unusual. Very definitive. Something she had never felt before. Charles to accepting that it was new. Both knowing the consequences of such a discovery their hearts became gripped with fear. 

They were sensible and Molly made a GP appointment the very next day. Quickly trips to the doctor, the hospital, took all their immediate days and energy. Tests, embarrassing and intimate examinations becoming part of their worlds. They supported each other. They went to each and every appointment together. Listen to the news, the diagnosis, the prognosis and ultimately the treatments offered, all together. As one.

However although the NHS machine ran efficiently, quickly and smoothly it was alone time, the days, the weeks in between each appointment that was the hardest to take. Hours of them sitting talking, wondering, worrying, all without that marvellous luxury of being able to plan. Their destinies were in someone else's hands now. 

Charles held Molly's hand though out it all. She never wanted to let it go.

The day the C word was used to explain the lump they both shed tears. Both listening to the information that the operation, and subsequent treatments would hopefully produce a very positive outcome. But positive as they were they still, as all those in this position do, remembered and thought about the negatives. There was no escaping the sadness, the grief, the worry such a diagnosis brings. 

"It's going to be ok." He said for the hundredth time as he held her. Molly was unsure if he was saying it now for her or his sake.

They'd returned home from the long detailed hospital appointment, with literature, further dates and appointments and heads full of a thousand and one more questions that they needed to ask, but had forgotten to do so. Their time with the Consultant and the nurse specialist exhausting, informative, but also left them with an even greater need for more fact, figures, statistics about the cancer. Every time they were given a piece of news, more questions flooded their already overloaded brains. 

"I know." She said. Holding onto him so tightly. "I love you so much and I'm sorry." 

"Hey." He dipped down to pick her chin up from its downcast position. "It's not your fault. Cancer is no one's fault. If anyone should be sorry it should be me for what you're having to go through. I'm sorry." 

She cried, she was doing that a lot lately, and even though it was unfair and she knew she should be brave for him, she just couldn't stop herself. She loved him too much, and it was too unfair. 

"Guess we need to tell folks." He offered later that night in bed. She was grateful that he was ever the practical one. "Work, parents?" 

"Yeah. I guess so. Though not now. Not tonight? Too tired." She asked as she rolled into him and placed a kiss on his t shirt covered chest.

Since the diagnosis, since they'd been given the news both had started to wear sleepwear in bed. Something they'd never done before. Something they'd both noticed the other doing, but neither of them commenting on it. But Molly knew why, she understood. It was as though they were hiding their bodies from each other. The frailty, the susceptibility of the flesh too hard to look at now.

"Yeah. Might make you right there. I'll call Mum tomorrow." He sighed. "Christ knows what I'm going to say." He looked at her mournfully and a few tears leaked from his eyes down his face. 

"I'll tell them if you want." She offered. "I can you know? I know this is hard for you. I'll do anything for you." She sobbed. 

He pulled her tight. Her tears soaking his top.

"Thank you. I know you would. Just being there for me. That's enough." He whispered. 

"I wish I could do more." She stuttered. "I wish I could take all this away from you." 

He was scared.

She was scared.

The prognosis however at this stage was good.

The lump thankfully noticed early thanks to Molly and her checks, meant a better outcome. Expectations they explained therefore after surgery, and potentially further treatment, were to be positive, but they were left in no doubt still it was going to be a rough journey. 

One they'd do together.

One though that had to start with the first, and possibly the hardest of steps.

The one where Charles had to tell his parents that he had testicular cancer.


	18. Chapter 18

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 18**

"Hey you." She walked towards him as he slowly opened his eyes and registered her. 

He held his hand out to her, which she took instantly. 

"Hey." He managed to whisper out through dry lips. Almost instantly his eyes closed again.

"I love you." And she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. Unsure if he'd even heard her. 

It had been a hard few weeks, but the past 24 hours had been torture for them all. Now he was waking up, slowly, but he was coming back to them. 

She'd stayed as long as she could by his bedside before the operation, and on his return from the theatre she hadn't left his side. Waiting for him to come around from the after effects of the anaesthetic. The simple 'hey' from him had been the only words he'd spoken to her in over six hours, but they meant the world to her. 

She texted his parents, in the canteen, the good news. Knowing they'd be up to see him soon and she'd have to leave his side briefly due to the strict rules of two to a bed. 

Just then the door to his room opened, and even in the dim lighting she could see it was her new friend Jacqui. This was her hospital, her ward and she'd made sure Charles was her extra special patient. 

"He's just woken up briefly." Molly said as Jacqui fiddled with his drips and drains. 

"That's good." She said as she reassuring placed her hand on Molly's shoulder. "He's going to be ok you know?" 

"Yeah. I know. I just want him home." Molly sighed. 

"All in good time Mols." Jacqui laughed. "He'll be sore when he wakes. Make sure he knows how to operate that thing." She nodded to the button attached to the analgesia pump. "One click when he needs it." She instructed. 

Molly just sat staring at Charles. Watching for another sign that he was going to wake, but he slept on. 

"Mols. He's going to be out of it for a while. Why don't you grab something to eat, have a walk or something? Let Elizabeth and Edward take over." Jacqui was looking after her as well as Charles. 

She stood stiffly as the room door opened again and his parents stepped in. They had aged, she saw, in the past weeks. From the dreadful visit Molly and Charles had made to Bath, breaking the news, right the way through to today, it has been tough for his parents. The stress and worry they had been under so obvious to each in their faces. 

"Come on." Said Jacqui. "It's time for my break." And she gently put her arm around Molly to guide her out of the room. Like the lost soul she was she mutely followed. 

She sat there in a trance nursing her tea. Not listening to anything that was going on around her. She'd already spoken to the surgeon, post op. The orchiectomy, or as Elvis has called the surgical procedure the ' bye bye big bad billy bollocks op', had gone well. The first step taken. 

It was only when she heard Jacqui swear did Molly snap out of her thoughts. 

Striding over towards them, concern etched on his face was Elvis. Molly knew he would turn up at some stage. His and Charles' friendship now stronger than ever since that day Charles had told him. He'd text, called, e-mailed more than before, even turning down a short tour to be around for his mate. It touched Molly at just how different but how close these two guys were. 

"Be nice?" Molly asked Jacqui. "He's going through a lot too." 

As Elvis walked closer something happened to Jacqui that she hadn't let happen for a long time. She saw the compassion on his face, the worry, and her heart fluttered in that silly old way it always used to. She gasped at her nervousness and found it difficult to look at him directly. Elvis too concerned about his friend, ignored her and she was surprised to be hurt by the snub she thought he'd just given her. 

"He's awake." Elvis said without any greeting. "Asking for you." 

He then without acknowledging Jacqui once turned and rushed out with Molly back to Charles' side. It left her confused and for the first time in a long time missing him. 

"Gently. Slowly." She scolded as he walked up the stairs to their bedroom. 

"Molly please." He asked wearily. She was fussing.

"I know. I know. You're a big boy now. I just can't help it." She admitted. Gaining a small smile from him which she responded with a huge one back. 

Charles was home. He'd spent one night and one day in hospital. Discharged home for rest and under the excellent care of Molly. 

The news from the surgeon that morning had been good. The best. The lump, the testicle removed successfully. No other involvement. Every confidence it was caught early enough. Though one session of chemotherapy was offered to 'mop' up any remaining malignant cells. Smiles all round. Molly had cried with joy, and she gave his mother a damp hug. Charles was passed it all though. All he wanted was sleep and it all just to go away. 

"How is he?" Elvis asked as he came to visit. Molly had called him yet again concerned. He'd been a regular visitor, along with Jacqui, and none of them could see his mood improving. 

It had been several weeks since the orchiectomy. The wound all healed. His mobility back to normal. No pain. In fact if it wasn't for the chemotherapy due soon, and his crushingly low mood, Charles could to all intents and purpose return back to work. But he hadn't. He couldn't. He was too low. 

"Honestly I don't know. He hasn't even showered or dressed today." Molly said with tears in her eyes. "Think he may need to see someone." 

From the first days he'd come home from hospitals Charles had been quiet. Not talking to her like he always used to. She given him space, gave him time, but weeks later he hadn't picked up.

Charles had stood in front of the mirror on his first day home. Looking at the removal site. Naked and assessing himself. He felt incomplete. Odd. Uneven. Not the man he used to pride himself in being. Feeling he was not the man who could offer everything to Molly any more. Part of him was missing. No longer perfect and that was what she deserved. And that was what he couldn't give her.

He felt heartily sorry for himself. Something he had not been prepared for if he was honest. Not something neither of them had considered would happen, but it did. It affected him deeply. And so he spent long hours in bed, to escape from seeing the pity in her eyes he thought he saw.

Initially that's what Molly thought he'd need, not realising he was hiding from the reality of it all, hiding from her. She thought he needed to rest to recover, so she didn't push him. But as they days went by he never seemed to improve. Seeking more sanctuary in their bedroom, asking to be alone. For some peace and quiet. Shunning visitors, drawing on his reputation as ever much the private man. Finding the whole area and the anatomy involved too embarrassing to discuss. He was pulling away from Molly too. Turning down cuddles in bed at night, citing the discomfort to his incision site. Leaving her lying next to him night after night, feeling very much alone. 

"Let me go see him." Elvis comforted her with a hug. Something she relished these day. A connection. Something she felt she was losing with Charles. 

As Elvis walked into the room he saw exactly Molly's cause for concern. Charles was sat on the edge of his bed, still in sleep shorts and top, dishevelled. Head hung low, just staring. 

"What you doing here?" Charles sighed. "Molly call you?" 

"As it happens mate she did, but I was coming over anyway. Thought you might fancy getting dressed and coming for a pint with me?" Elvis asked cheerfully. 

"No fucking way." Charles snapped back. "Are you stupid? Shit Elvis. Just go." 

Shocked but not put off Elvis carried on.

He sat down on the edge of the bed next to Charles. He could feel him physically shaking next to him. 

"Talk to me mate?" He asked. "Please." 

"Nothing to say." Charles spat out childishly. 

"Well I reckon there is. Look this ain't the mate I know. The soldier, the man we all know." Elvis continued. And it was with those words that he saw Charles start to fill up. 

"That's just it though isn't it Elvis. That's what I'm not. Not any more at least... a man." 

"What you on about Charlie?" Elvis asked. 

"Me. Not a man. Who'd want me now? And don't come out with crap Elvis. How would you feel if someone chopped off one of your balls?" He shouted out starting to cross the room. 

"Shit mate I had no idea." Elvis replied as the enormity of what Charles had just said to him.

The emasculation of it all, the feeling of not being man enough anymore hard for any man to accept, to take on board, but especially hard for such a man as Charles, a proud but private almost shy man. 

"Do you know what I had to do the day before my op?" Again Charles was shouting. "I had to bank my sperm. Imaging that Elvis? What funny retort you got for that?" Charles was enraged. "Doing it in a cubicle. Leaving a sample, just in case anything goes wrong, you can still have children. You might not be a man anymore, not in the conventional way, but that test tube they hold means that at least Molly will get what she wants." 

He sat down on the floor. Sobbing. 

"What happens if I'm not man enough for her ever again? What if we can't ever...? I can't? " He stopped. It was unimaginable never to be intimate with Molly again. It was unfair, all of it was unfair. 

Sliding down on the floor next to him Elvis held his friend and just let him cry. Grieve over his loss, over the uncertainty of being able to love Molly like he used to, to give her what she wanted. His perceived loss of the man he once was, his loss of the man, the father he wanted to be. Knowing all those questions were too early to be answered only time would tell. 

"You've got to try mate." Elvis said gently after they had sat side by side in silence for minutes. "Not just for you, but for Molly too. And us. Your Mum, Dad. You got to try." 

"What if she doesn't want me? Not like this. Not with part of me missing." He asked. 

"She will mate. She loves you. Besides you heard them right? Read the literature? Normal service will be resumed. Just give it time." Elvis tried to encourage his friend to think positively. 

"They'll all know. At work. Word will get out. I'll be the laughing stock." Charles said very very quietly. "How am I ever going to show my face again?" 

"Hell mate give it time. Your heads all over the place. You just need time." Elvis hopelessly counselled. 

Whatever Elvis had said it hadn't worked. Charles still hadn't left his room hours after he had left, and Molly too scared to upset Charles more didn't go to seek him.

She'd heard the shouting, snippets of the conversation flowing down the stairs. She now knew his concerns. His lack of contact with her, his hiding away from her. She understood them, but was hurt that it wasn't her he'd confided in. That he'd not turned to her. 

Later, much later than usual, she made her way up to their room. Fully expecting him to be asleep. She'd heard no noises from the room for an hour or so and hoped she'd left it long enough before she went up. That when she got to the bedroom he'd be asleep. Wanting to avoid him, and more rejection from him as she slipped in between the sheets. She felt shut out, unable to reach him. Confused by his worries and much as she was scared by them. They should be happy it was looking so positive, but they weren't. They were struggling, drowning in it all. Her with the guilt and feelings of inadequacy at being enough for him. Charles suffering from fears and difficulties in coming to terms with such an imposition on his manhood. 

She was tired. She had the constant worry of Charles, of looking after him, and now back at work she felt even more detached from him. The look of unhappiness must have shown on her face as she quietly pushed open the bedroom door and found him still awake. 

He smiled at her sadly. Desperate to reach out to her, but not strong enough to take any rejection or disgust she might show towards him. His altered state of mind forgetting just how kind and big hearted our girl was. That was something Molly would never do. 

"Hi." He said as he played with the box in his hands. Looking urgently to hide it. He hadn't expected her to find him with it. That was the last thing he'd wanted. Too lost in his own thoughts to keep track of the time or of her footsteps on the stairs. Now he was caught. There was no way out of this. It wasn't what he guessed she'd want anymore, but he couldn't pretend it wasn't what it was. 

"What's that?" She instantly homed in on the small rectangle box on his hands. Sitting down on the bed to get close to him. 

"A ring." Was all he sadly and simply said and opened the box slowly to show her it. The ring he'd imagined a thousand times showing to her. In happier times.

"It's beautiful." She looked away from the glittering stone. "Is it for me?" She asked hopefully. 

"Well it is if you want it." The reply had no love, no sentiment, no conviction in it. He knew her kind heart would take pity on him. 

It hurt her. 

"Oh! Do you want me to have it?" She asked. In all their time together, in all her dreams that this would one day happen for them she had never expected to feel so lost when it did. 

"Of course I do." His head shot up, and for a moment there was true passion, desire in them. "But I understand if you don't want to." Resignation spread across his face as he remembered the man he now was. 

She scooted across the bed to straddle his lap. Ignoring the pain in her heart as he saw his face twist with horror at such proximity to her. 

"Charles I love you. Nothing would ever change that. Nothing." She leant forward to kiss him. Although he accepted the kiss he didn't respond. 

"So that's a yes then?" He asked taking the ring out of the box and handing it to her. 

"Of course it is you nutbar. I'd love to. Whatever." Her eyes shone with tears. Hoping he'd see them as tears of happiness instead of the tears of sadness they really were at such a cold proposal. 

"Good." He let out an attempt at a smile as she place the solitaire on her own finger.

He watched her action with a detached coldness. Wondering how this could ever work for them. 

She waited for something more from him, some declaration of love, but nothing came. He shifted uncomfortably and she slipped off him, watching him turn over on his side getting ready for sleep. Shutting her out, after what should have been a beautiful moment for them. 

Knowing he'd slipped away from her even further, she made her way into the bathroom and under the cover of the noise from the bath taps running she broke her heart. 

Her acceptance of his poor proposal though surprisingly helped Charles. Slowly each day he woke up a bit more happier, and tried to engage more in their life together. He started to feel more confident of her love for him despite it all. She saw him try, they both did. There was no physical or verbal declarations of love, no attempts at intimacy, but he got dressed, ate his meals downstairs with her, talked to her about the mundane stuff. They talked about anything apart from what they should have been talking about. It was as though she now wore his ring on her finger he was less doubtful of it all, but even less willing to share his worries with her.

As expected friends, family all congratulated them on their engagement. There was no pomp though. No celebration, just a quiet acceptance. Elizabeth knew now was not the time for one of her famous parties. She saw that Molly was betrothed to the man she loved, but she could see that she felt lonely and was close to running. Others on the outside could see that in a matter of weeks this couple were acting, putting on a show for everyone while their hearts were closing off from one another.

Molly tried, tried so hard to reach out to him. To touch him, to hold him, but each time he gently let her down. Always with a sad tortured smile playing across his face. Their relationship purely platonic by the time his date came for the chemotherapy session he had been promised.

To see him suffering from the side effects, to see him so unwell hurt her even more. He rejected her offers for help and once again shut himself off from her. Opting on sleeping in the spare room, using the need for her to sleep without disturbance as his excuse. He already felt less of a man than she deserved, to see him so weakened by the treatment, he felt would only make her realise how pathetic he finally had become. How she was now trapped.

Only once in all this time did she mention the subject of intimacy. She longed to be simply held by him. To be pressed up against him, to melt into the wonderfulness of him. He shot her down, quickly and loudly saying he wanted to protect her after the chemo. It wasn't safe. She counter attacked saying that condoms were advised but intimacy was not forbidden. She told him she missed him. It was the wrong thing to say. Charles still doubted himself, his virility. His perception of what a man should look like altered and hard to accept. His huge self doubts had left him without any desire or urge, only guilt. Once again he started to feel that her life would very much be a better one without him in it. She was young, she wanted children. She deserved a man. All the things at this time her couldn't give her.

The day he told her he was returning back to work should have been a joyous one. Normality was returning. It was the same day he'd been given the all clear from the Oncologist. They should have been out celebrating, enjoying this new beginning. Young and so much living and life to look forward too, but they didn't. They drove home in silence. Molly too angry at him and worried, despite him being cleared medically fit. He'd fooled them all, but she knew mentally he had some recovering to do. Charles silent as he mused over the welcome relief of getting back into a normal routine would give him. Desperate in showing to all despite his loss he was still very much the man he used to be.

They carried on over the following weeks, and months. He'd returned back to their bed, but he might not have been there at all. Frequently coming home and to bed later and later as the weeks ticked on, with no touching, holding or intimacy every happening. He threw himself back to his work, his default mode. On the outside to all at work he looked the perfect normal functional soldier that he always used to be. The past four months of his life, his illness very much behind him. He rose to each challenge and impressed. He always did. Yet no one but Molly and his family could really see that he was acting each and every day.

"I'm losing him Jacqui." She poured her heart out one night. They'd invited their friend over for supper. She'd turned up, but Charles hadn't. No apology, no excuses. Just his noticeable absence. "He's hardly ever here and when he is he so distant. He wants nothing to do with me."

"It takes time you know? The diagnosis, the op. It will all have turned his world upside down. It's traumatic. You've got to give him a chance to sort it out." Jacqui tried, but she knew. She heard from Elvis, the odd phone call every now and then, just how separate her and Charles were now a days.

"I know, but it's hard. I understand the stress if it all. Every day he shuts me out a bit more and it gets harder." She felt disloyal talking about him in such a way but Molly felt desperate. Her best friend, the one she always turned to, was the man she could no longer depend upon. "It exhausting." 

Soon she realised that the sound of his key in their front door was now a noise she dreaded. His company only brought coldness into their home. An emptiness she never thought she'd feel when the man she loved was so close by.

There was no talk of weddings. No talk about how he was feeling. No opening up. Instead as Charles threw himself back into his work Molly followed suit too. As the days, weeks went by they started to spend more time at work than in their own home. Living almost separate lives.

It wasn't surprising then that both of them were offered tours around the same time. The powers that be thought their lives were back on track. The Army machine continued and needed them.

Her offer was a short tour, six weeks, which initially she was hesitant to take. Wanting to talk it over with Charles first. She was dumb founded however when she returned home that night and found him packing his own kit bag.

"Going somewhere?" She half teased. The fear in her heart causing her words to come out strangled.

"Yes. Was going to tell you." At least he had the decency to look a bit ashamed. "Off on tour. Humanitarian. Short notice. I go at the end of the week."

"What? Shit Charles. Are you sure you're up for this?" She knelt down next to him and touched his shoulder. He flinched under her touch. He didn't want to hear her doubts in him.

"Course I am. Hell Molly I'm not an invalid." Then softer he added. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

She rose and walked away from him. "How long?" She asked.

"Six months." He said without looking at her. He needed this tour. He needed to prove himself. He needed her to see him as the man he used to be. The leader. The one they all could depend on. He'd come back stronger. So he focused up and got on with the task in hand. He never even saw her leave the room.

The days past quickly and her tour wasn't mentioned. She figured as they had only days left she'd try to reach out to him, but he never even met her half way. The distance between them only reinforced as he announced that the day before he was off on tour he'd be spending the night in barracks, and he didn't expect her to see him off. And so their good bye was one breakfast time. Simple, no emotions from him. The briefest of kisses and he was gone. His watch, the one she had given him so long ago with her promise engraved on the back, was too left behind.

"You'll take care of her for me won't you Elvis? Make sure she's ok?" Charles rounded on his friend, his farewell party, one final time.

He needed this tour. He needed to re affirm himself as a soldier as a man. But he knew it wasn't what his and Molly's relationship needed. He felt he was running.

"She just looked so sad when I left. Just keep in touch with her please and let me know how she's doing." And that was all Charles felt he could do for now. Care, love her from a distance. Until he found his way back. Until he found his way back to them. Not knowing if he could and that he hadn't pushed her too far.

The first days she heard nothing from him, no text, no Skype. Nothing. So she resorted to pain old letter writing, and e mails telling him of her plans with her own tour. Explaining that she would be back well before he would be, and hopefully that whatever the tour was giving him it made him happy and that he'd come back to her, to them. That she missed him. That she loved him.

He at least had the decency to call her before she left, but really it wasn't enough. He didn't Skype just a short phone call. Wishing her well, telling her to stay safe. But that was all. No 'I love you' from him despite her asking. No declarations of missing her. Just simple messages of friendship, and safety. He had nothing more he could say.

Three weeks later she found herself dropped off at Brize by Elvis. As she boarded her flight, with her new team, to a faraway cold climate she felt stronger, more accepting, more alive. More alive that she had felt for a long time. The caring hug from Elvis and her revealing call with Charles had changed things. Made her wake up. No longer feeling like a bleeding heart over the state of their relationship, she had started to accept. Accept that he sounded happier away from her. Accept that maybe the cancer had broken them and they now were beyond repair. He sounded happier than he had for a long time. Happier now she wasn't around to smother him. To remind him of what he'd been through, of what had altered about him, about them.

And so our girl came to a decision.

That not now...later...when he got back. They would sit down together, she'd make him sit down, and sort it all out. They'd talk... she'd then tell him.

Tell him he was free.

Free from the misery of what their relationship had become. Free him from them if that's what he wanted.

Free to live the life he wanted to live without the guilt of hurting her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Steadfast**

**Chapter 19**

He'd called her once or twice towards the end of her tour. That had surprised her but her phone flashed his number that very first time, she actually stalled before answering it. Wondering what there was to be said. Their conversations however had been polite and even at times flowing easily, but still they were by no stretch of the imagination how they used to be and they both felt it. 

His calls screamed all that was wrong in their relationship, but still they reinforced just how much she missed him. More than she could ever have imagined, and due to the big void that had opened up between them, more than she could ever tell him. The space, the distance from each other sounded as though it had done him good, and she appreciated it had done her good too. She felt strangely happy, with this time apart, now knowing in which direction she intended to go with their relationship...when...if he eventually came back to her. 

Her resolve had started to harden even before she'd left on tour. Brutal in not holding on to memories of him, and so she'd taken little reminders of him out with her, except one small photo she carried in her wallet that she pulled out every night, there were no others. She hadn't wanted the distraction, she hadn't wanted to pine for him, for them. She had just wanted to focus on the job at hand, and the decisions she had to make.

And so just like him she left her promise to him behind. The engagement ring he'd given her safely stored away in its box in their little safe at home, lying side by side with the watch. Just as Charles had done she'd taken off this supposed symbol of their love, and locked it away.

Half of her, the practical side, reminding herself she wouldn't want something so precious on tour with her, uncomfortable with it mixing with her fatigues and kit. Yet the other half of her brain and all of her heart knew differently. The feel of it on her finger from the moment she had slipped it on, the sparkle the stone bounced off the light didn't make her happy. It made her feel a fraud, not sure if she still had the right to wear it anymore. 

"So home next week?" Jacqui said via the FaceTime link. "Fancy a catch up?" 

"Yeah that sounds good." Molly smiled. "Thank you...I mean for everything." 

"No problem." Jacqui smiled sadly at her friend. Across the digital link she could see more pronounced the dark rings under Molly's eyes. "You needed a virtual shoulder to cry on. I'm here you know...anytime." Jacqui laughed, even though her heart went out to her friend who'd used her countless time over the past six weeks to discuss her emotional turmoil. 

"So?" Jacqui asked. "The million dollar question. Do you know what you're going to do?" Guilty almost that just as Molly's life seemed to be falling apart, hers was becoming good again.

Molly sighed, but only with the waiting out of it all. Now her decision was made, confident it was the right one, time ticked slowly by. There was no ignoring it. She wouldn't let him either, their relationship was in trouble, and both her and Charles needed to face up to it.

She owed it to herself, to them, to try. Charles had meant more to her than anyone ever had, but she knew she needed their misery to stop. She knew he wasn't going to do it, not capable, and so was down to her. That was her plan on finishing the tour. Sort it all out as soon as he'd returned home. 

"Yeah." Molly answered. "He's another three months or so to go. It will give me time to get things sorted, at home, and in me head when he's away. Then when he's home... well I guess we'll talk then." 

"You're sure?" Her friend asked. Though there was no dissuading her. Once Molly had made up her mind there was little changing it. 

"Absolutely. 100%. It's the only way." Molly replied determinedly. 

Her return home was almost unnoticed. No one to meet her, no one waiting for her. She watched on enviously as others were greeted by loved ones. The only welcome she received on entering her home was a telephone call from Elizabeth who promised she'd drive down to see her at the weekend.

The house was silent, cold and empty when she entered it. The memories of happier times together had been driven away by their absence. It was an ironic reflection of the relationship they now had, of the relationship they had both chosen to leave behind.

Once home her life quickly fell back into some type of routine, and she put her outstanding leave to good use. Tidying, cleaning, clearing out. Their time in this shared house had only been brief, the first time either had put down solid roots. Yet somehow they still had accumulated lots of pieces of useless junk. Her leave's mission was to sort it out, clear it away, and pack up. A fresh start easier to achieve once he came home, once they'd talked. 

The hall way was littered with black plastic bin bags as he entered his home for the first time in months. Fearing he was too late as he noticed her stuff, her clothes inside. He came to a sickening conclusion. She was leaving him. 

"Molly?" He called out. His voice sounding stronger than what he felt inside. 

"Charles?" She shouted back instantly, shocked. "Shitting hell what you doing here?" She ran down the stairs to see him. "What's wrong? You hurt? You ok?" She passed her eyes expertly over him. 

"I'm fine. Got a few weeks off that's all." Then he needed to be honest. He said shyly. "Asked for them. Knew you'd be home."

"Oh?" Was all she could say. Confused by what he meant. 

They both looked unsure at each other. 

"Molly?" He asked, fearing his emotions. Pointing to the bags of her clothing. "Are you leaving me?" 

"No." Her reply was a strong confident reply. "Thought about it if I'm honest, but I said I wouldn't run. It's been shit and if you want me to leave then I will. But I'm telling you I'm not leaving this without a fight." 

He smiled. Relieved. Hoping that there may be still a chance. The smile was a smile she hadn't seen for a long time. 

"You'll get no fight from me." He stepped marginally towards her. "I don't want you to go...I love you Molly." 

She blinked. Surprised.

"You had a funny way of showing it." She said sadly. 

"I know. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." He stepped even closer to her. "We need to talk...But first can I have a hug? Is that ok?" 

"Shit Charles." She rushed into his arms and held him tight. "I love you too." She sobbed. 

He'd missed her. More than he deserved to. The tour had given him a distance, the distraction he had craved. Before, after the op, he'd been unable to recognise himself, so he ran away, from him, his problems, from the love she had shown him. The self enforced loneliness had felt the right thing to do, but then it suddenly did more. It started to make him feel normal again. It showed him who he was despite it all. Proved to all and himself that the man he always used to be was still there, and all he wanted to do was to share his joy at regaining himself again. But she wasn't there. He'd run from her and pushed her away. 

And so, with help from Elvis, who relished any excuse to talk to Jacqui, he found out her return date and home coming plans. With this information he then arranged himself leave. And that's what had brought him to be here holding his sobbing love in his arms, with the over whelming need to make it right again. 

"How long you home for?" She asked as she wiped her hands over her eyes. 

"Three weeks. Longer if needs be. I'm not going anywhere again, until we're right." He said as he pulled her into the front room. "I need you in my life Molly." 

"Really? Hasn't seemed like that lately Charles. Thought I was the last thing you needed." That what it felt like. She honestly answered.

"I thought you deserved better." He replied. His words stunned her. 

"What? Why?" 

"You know why Molly. Because of..." He waved his hands around his general groin area. "Cause if all this. I'm not the man I used to be." 

"You thought that would bother me? You thought that it mattered?" She choked out, angry at him. It was the first time he'd ever admitted it to her, and they needed to clear the air. "You think so little if me?" She asked. 

"No. God no Molly. It's cause I thought so much of you." He explained. "You deserve better. You deserved a man. Not me. Not someone who's just going to disappoint you." 

"You won't. You haven't. Hell Charles it's you I want. The man I know and love. Whatever form that comes in. Not some stupid idea of what a man should look like." 

He listened to her words, noted the anger in her voice, and remained silent for a time.

"Can we fix what I broke?" He asked. "Can you forgive me?"

She looked at him and appreciated just how hard his diagnosis was on them both. It wasn't what they'd asked for, but that's the hand Lady Luck had dealt them. The past few months had taken a lot from them both, but she knew it was now time for them to come out as the victors in this painful journey.

"I ain't gonna lie, but for a while there I wondered if this is was what I wanted too." She smiled plainly at him. "I don't mean the op, I mean how these past months, how it's changed us."

His head snapped to look at her fearful of her words.

"But then there were times when I knew I had to keep fighting." She kept going. "That what we used to have, was still there. Just somewhere mixed up with everything else."

Her head dropped. She continued, feeling the relief in each word she spoke.

"I thought you'd gone. And then I knew I couldn't let that happen. Cause you and me we're the lucky ones. We get to have a choice after all this, and it might not be easy, but I'm nothing without you... And we have a choice...Your diagnosis hasn't robbed us of that."

He listened to everything she had said. Desperate to get back to the Molly and Charles that they both knew.

"When did you become so wise?" He asked in awe.

"Humph. Me wise? I don't think so mate." She bumped his knee with hers. "I just think you still love me like no one has ever loved me, and I love you."

They sat quietly side by side. Bodies not touching now, both so delicate. 

Eventually Charles spoke.

"I might not be able to give you children Molly." 

"Why not?" She shot back. "Yes you will. One way or another if that's what we decide." 

He grinned grimly at her. 

"Thought you really wanted kids?" 

"I want you more." The words burst out of her mouth. And it was the truth. "I can't live without you. Kids are just something extra. You're everything." She reached out and held his hand. "It's you I love." 

He'd never tire of those words from her. He promised himself he'd fight for her. Let her in again. He took a deep breath.

"I can't... we can't... well I haven't... since the op. Don't know why." 

She understood. Instantly. It had been the elephant in the room since his procedure. His lost ability had only further driven further doubt into his mind. Filled his head with thoughts of not being a real man to her. Lead him to shutting her out even more, and throwing himself into his work. 

"I'm not gonna say it doesn't matter that side of thing." She said as gently as possible. "Sex, making love with you has been amazing. But there's things we can do to help, we always knew it might take some time." She reached out and held his face in her hands. "I ain't saying it gonna be easy either, but we don't know anything until we try will we?" 

The late afternoon and evening passed on. Their conversation had started to help heal, but there was a long way still to go. They didn't rush upstairs. The past months of hurt, loneliness weren't suddenly forgotten.

Instead they worked together. Prepared their evening meal. Talked, something they hadn't done like this for a long time. Over a nice meal and a few glasses of wine they told each other of their tours, of what had been happening in their lives. They managed a few laughs and at last plenty of smiles naturally found their way onto their faces.

Once, twice their hands touch, their bodies connected, drawn to each other still, as they move around the kitchen. Neither drew away, but neither moving it forward either. It was a gentle reconnection for them both. 

"You're not wearing your ring." He said pointing to her hand as it played with the wine glass.

"You're not wearing you're watch." She answered back, challenging him to break eye contact with her, but he didn't.

"You still want to wear it?" To ask her that question nearly killed him, scared of the answer.

"Do you still want me to wear it?" She asked back at him.

"Yes. God yes Molly." And he grabbed her hand and played with her naked fingers. "Just really regret. Well you know. Just wish I'd done it a bit better."

She laughed.

"Me too."

She wistfully stared passed him out into the garden, remembering happier moments than that of her proposal. Anything but that painful night.

He went to bed first. The long journey home making him in desperate need for a shower. Molly instead stayed downstairs for a while and thought over the past hours with him, and realised for the first time in months she was happy again. Catching herself humming as she tidied away, and smiling to herself. So she had no hesitation, she turned and made her way up to their room too. 

It was only then, as she entered that's she hesitated. Watching him walk from the en-suite, damp from his shower, wearing little but a towel tied around his waist, she faltered. It was the most underdressed she'd seen him since the operation. The most vulnerable she'd seen him too. 

"Sorry. I'll... " She turned to go, as she saw him start at her presence. They had made progress over the past hours, she now didn't want to make him uncomfortable again . 

"Molly?" And then he did something unexpected. He laughed. "You've not gone all shy on me have you?" 

It angered her slightly that he was using her embarrassment against her, in a situation that he'd created. Deflecting from the real issue.

"No." She said hotly. "It just you've not been too keen on me seeing you naked." Then seeing the sadness cross his face she added more gently. "It's ok though I understand." 

"Oh!" He said as he sat on the edge of the bed, patting it for her to join him. "I don't know if I do really." 

"What?" She looked at him as he slid up the bed and leaned back on the headrest, pulling her with him. They sat side by side. Comfortable with each other. 

"Understand." He explained. "Cause most of the time I don't understand why I did it." She raised an eyebrow at him. He continued. "Don't know why I pushed you away. Shut you out." 

She said nothing. Just sat there as he tried to explain it all. The loss he felt, not just with the procedure, but with the diagnosis itself. He'd one day gone from seeing himself as a strong man who others depended on, to a victim. Someone weak and incomplete. Less of a person. He told Molly he found this hard. His self respect, his image of himself all gone. Taken away by some disease. He felt like he  
was broken for good and loved Molly and his family too much to inflict himself on them. So he pushed them away, and tried to push them out of his heart, but he found he just couldn't. He loved her too much. 

He didn't cry during his confession, neither did she. She listened, he talked. His words finally delivering them form the nightmare they had suffered for a long time. 

"I never meant to hurt you. I was just spiralling further and further each and every day and I couldn't stop it. Losing you was the last thing I wanted to do though." 

"Well you nearly fucked up big time." She replied honestly. Thinking back to all those times when she felt she couldn't take any more... yet she had. 

"I'm sorry." He said. 

"You really hurt me you know?" She looked directly at him. Her heart was big but she needed him to know just how close he'd come to ruining them. 

"All I wanted to do was to make you happy." He said. "And I saw as each day went by I was failing." 

Molly said nothing. Just sat staring down at her hands resting in her lap. 

"So do you...?" He asked so gently. 

"What?" She was confused as she looked at him. Then she understood as she saw him gesture over his towel clad area. 

"Do you want to see?" The words were almost choking him. Molly saw what a huge sacrifice, he was making for her, for them. 

"Only if you want me to see it." She replied kindly. 

Of course she'd seen the groin wound, when she had cared for him those first few days after hospital, but that had been the extent of his disclosure to her. Nothing more. He'd hid himself away from her. 

Slowly he untied the towel as he lay in the bed, and exposed himself. She knelt slowly, carefully, on the bed beside him, looking at him as waves of anxiety, fear pulsed through his body. 

Briefly she touched his anatomy, he yelped, whether in disgust or surprise at her touch, she didn't know. 

"Well?" He asked, his voice reflecting on how painful all this was. Thick with emotion. "What do you think? Is it as awful as you thought?" His eyes never leaving her faces. Hunting for signs of her feelings about what she could see. 

She covered him over gently, smiling at him as she did so. Covering him not for her benefit but she needed him to feel less vulnerable. To feel comfortable so close to her again. 

"I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm sorry for what it made you feel, but I don't feel like that." She smiled at him and delicately straddled his lap. "I didn't fall in love with bits of you. I fell in love with all of you. All of it, and just cause there something less does by no way make me love you any less." 

"But... it's not right. It's odd. To look at." He said trying to believe her. Loving her even more because of her sensitivity. 

At this point she started to laugh. He raised his eyebrow in semi horror.

"Sorry, but I hate to tell you mate it was never that pretty before. They were never your best assets you know?" She ran a hand through his hair. Soothing him. Calming his horror. "And it all just looks equally as bad as it always did." She giggled at her last line. Hoping she hadn't offended. 

Entranced by her giggles now instead of seeing anger, she saw a smile cross his face. 

"I missed that." He said. "You giggling. I used to dream of hearing it. Haven't heard it for so long." He sighed remembering the reasons why it had been missing. "You just stopped, and I know you haven't giggled for a while because of me. I'm pleased I'm making you laugh now." 

"I love you." She kissed him on the lips. Quickly and delicately. "I love your heart your soul. I love how you make me feel and how you look after me. I love the person, not the body." 

He smiled weakly at her. 

"I know. I realised... when I was away... what I had... what I maybe had lost...and I knew I had to try to win you back. Make you love me again." 

"You never lost me. I never stopped. Never will." She smiled and settled down next to him by his side as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

"We're going to be ok." She stated. It wasn't meant to be a question but he answered anyway. 

"Yeah Molly. I think we are." He agreed with her. 

They spent the night lying side by side. Nothing more apart from at some stage into the night they had rolled over facing each other, their hands holding one to each other waists. 

"It was Elvis you know? What made me realise." He uttered low, his morning hot breath fluttering on her face. 

Of all the words she'd expected to hear on just waking on their first morning together, those were not the ones. 

She smile lazily and opened her eyes. 

"How did you know I was awake?" She said noticing just then where both their hands were placed on each other. 

"You stopped snoring?" He teased. 

She giggled and looked at him suddenly stopping. Looking at him, seeing him properly for the first time in months. There was that early morning crumpled look to his face, a look she loved, but there was something else too. Maybe peace, she hoped. 

He spoke again.

"He told me he driven you to Brize. That you were happy. Happy to go, to leave... and I thought ... it was wrong...leaving should make you sad. Then I knew it was me that was making you sad. A tour, however short, was making you happier than being with me."" 

"Charles... I... we...both..." He stopped her. 

"No Molly. It was me. Out there I showed myself that I was still who I used to be. Nothing has changed." He stroked her face and inched closer. "I knew then I had to do the same here. With you. Back at home. Prove I'm still me." 

Her big green eyes look at him and despite her efforts they filled with tears. 

"No more crying." He pleaded. Then kissed her. Long, deeply and with a love she had so dreadfully missed. 

She deepened herself into him, pressed herself into as close as she could. The taste of him as he claimed her mouth something she longed for no matter what time of the day. Their arms started to enclose each other. Hands started to wander and explore. Their love reigniting. She became aware of it first, but it was Charles who reacted to it. He pulled away sharply. Amazed at his body's, once presumed missing, but inevitable, response to their passion. Amazed, and so happy, at his body's final reawakening. An almost long forgotten reaction. 

"Fucking hell." He choked out quietly, as though not to scare it. Shocked. Juvenile in his need to look. 

Molly giggled at his surprise, and how he drew back the covers to look. A huge smile of triumph in his face as he turned his eyes from himself to her. Gleeful in what he saw. 

"Would you look at that." She teased with all the fun she could muster. Happy at the delight so very obvious on his face.

He turned to her and his eyes darkened with desire, he growled at her almost, but still the face splitting grin remained fixed on his beautiful face.

"Dawes shut the fuck up and come her." He laughed out utterly delighted. Pulling her back onto him. 

She fell under him at his insistence and command. Their passion rising even further, even harder. Their heat increasing. She felt the pulsation straining from his body in desperation to take her. Something she was all too willing, too ready to let happen. With the simplest of nods they shimmed out of their sleepwear at record speed, and he loomed over her. Their eyes locked, as he shifted himself to enter her. Ready to re-join, reconnect with his love on so many levels.

Then just as suddenly as it arrived his excitement disappeared.

Horror etched across both of their faces as they realised what had just happened. What had just departed.

They both felt the loss, but it was poor Charles who felt it more keenly. His aspirations had been damped, rightly so, by the sound of his mother and father's voices downstairs shouting up to Molly. Calling out that they'd driven up to see her, thought they'd surprise her. Happy that they had come to keep her company. Blissfully unaware of what they had just interrupted. 

"Don't bloody believe it. A surprise! They bloody did that." He grumbled as she jumped off the bed, semi panicked wiggling into last night's clothes, slapping his arm playfully. 

"Be nice!" She knelt down to kiss him, as he still laid on the bed. Lamenting the loss they had just suffered at the hands of his parents. Her words tickling his ear, the delicate smell of her playing with his senses, and he so wished that they could be alone again. "Besides, maybe….. now we know... we can try again..." She finished coyly.

He smiled, and she just knew. So she stopped talking catching him looking again at himself and followed those beautiful brown eyes down his body. She smiled too. Noticing that his loss of fervour had only stalled, and his dedication to loving her again was starting to reappear. Everything seemed to be very much present and correct once again in the bedroom department.

The smile on his jubilant face said it all. It was her special smile. Their special connection.

"Try again? Oh trust me Dawes we bloody will!"


	20. Chapter 20

**Steadfast**

**Epilogue**

He stood straight and tall. Solid. Someone she could always depend upon. Both his hands firmly gripping her shoulders. Staring intently into her eyes. 

Yet his voice was so soft, so tender when he spoke to her.

"So Dawes are you sure you've pack everything?" He broke their gaze for moments while his eyes travelled over the many bags of kit at her feet. Wondering what she possibly could have left behind. 

She merely nodded. Not trusting her voice. 

"Now you remember the rules of engagement? Don't you? You know what these SF guys are like. Just remember your brief and you'll stay safe." 

Again she nodded, but swallowed hard and her eyes teared up. 

"Come on Dawes." He gently leaned down to get closer to her. "You've done this before. Just stay focused. Stay alert and you'll come to no harm."

Gazing at him, smiling, appreciating his calming words, trying to believe him, but due to past experience finding it hard. Last time she'd got down and dirty with the SF lot she'd come off very much the worse for wear, and that time she had Charles to protect her. This time he wouldn't be there. He wouldn't be there to save her from their infamous drinking games, and shot rounds that she found so hard to say no to. At least, she reasoned, somewhere in the back of her head, that although he wouldn't be there for the first couple of days, he'd come eventually. He'd come and join them all on the extra special mission they were deployed on. Then she knew she'd be safe. 

"Yeah. Got it. I can do this." She answered nodding away. Almost believing it herself. "I'm gonna miss you though Charles." She stuttered out. "And not just to stop me from getting so pissed!" 

Here she was a whole year later after his initial diagnosis, six months since he'd come back to her, three perfect months since he eventually returned home from what felt like the longest his tour ever...and she was leaving him. They were being separated yet again, even if it was just temporary. 

Since he'd come back to her. Took the three weeks leave on his last tour to save them, they had grown even stronger. The three weeks he spent at home allowed them time to heal, recover and to regrow the love they always had for one another. The love that had just been squashed and trampled on by the cancer diagnosis. It had bruised them, but it hadn't fatally injured them. A testimony as to how strong their love was. How, together they had healed. 

And so here they were again at another airport saying another round of good byes. Her kit and bags in abundance at her feet. Her numerous, and loud, travel companions having their own final moments in saying their goodbye to their loved ones. It was achingly familiar. 

"I'm gonna miss you." She said as she reached up and clung onto him. He clung right back at her. 

"I know what you mean. I'm going to miss you too. So much." He pecked her sad lips. "I love you." 

This brought a smile to her face.

"I love you too." Turning and sadly seeing her friends break up and move towards her she bent down a picked up her bags. 

"Come on Mols." Jacqui shouted as she approached them. "Kiss lover boy good bye. We got a flight to catch." 

Molly reluctantly did as she was told. Resistance was futile; the past weeks with Jacqui had taught her that very important lesson. Watching Charles with a knowing smirk as she struggled to carry her bags and dress carriers. 

Jacqui grew impatient with her struggle and snatched a bag off her. 

"Come the fuck on Mols." She said again, a little less friendly than before, a lot more like the Officer she was on a very specific mission. "We've a wedding to get ready for." She snapped, and with this she strode off, determined. The rest of the party hotly followed, knowing the punishment if they too didn't obey. 

Charles shouted after her as her little legs moved fast to catch up.

"See you in two days." 

Molly stopped and blew one final kiss at him, then remembering where they were and why, she turned and caught up with Jacqui before she was noticed as missing. Leaving Charles quietly chuckling at the sight of them all. He couldn't resist one more distraction, and shouted again at her. 

"Three days Molly. I'll see you in three days' time. I'll be the one at the alter looking dashing and nervous." 

Molly turned and beamed her beautiful smile in his direction. 

"You'd better be. Don't want to be up there like a prannett  
on me own." And with those last words she was finally gone. Jacqui's voice still drifting down the corridor with a list of commands to the group of friends and family that were supporting them in this mission. Off to sunnier shores to celebrate a marriage. 

"Hell what am I letting myself in for." He said as he stood side by side to his best mate, watching his colleagues head off too. "It's good job I bloody love that woman. She's turned into the original bridezilla these last few months." He shook his head in disbelief. 

Again Charles chuckled slapping Elvis on the back.

"That my friend she definitely has." Whole heartedly agreeing with him. "Mind you I haven't exactly seen you complaining." And it was true his friend, Elvis, hadn't ever looked happier than he had these past couple of months. 

Elvis and Charles started to walk towards their cars, both excited for the up and coming events.

"No complaints from me Charlie Boy. Not now. Not ever. "Elvis admitted. "I know I'm a lucky man. Second chances and all that." 

"I'm pleased for you." Charles said. "Really. And may I say also relieved." 

Elvis shot him a look, raising his eyebrows in a query. 

"Well." Continued Charles by way of explanation. "What with me being your best man and that, and your wedding being in three days' time... I'm pleased to hear that you're well and truly smitten with the future Mrs Jacqui Harte." 

"You've nothing to worry about mate. I ain't letting her go this time." Elvis reassured him. "I promise. Never letting her go ever again." 

"Good." Charles grabbed onto Elvis' shoulder and stopped him. Turned him on his tracks. "Cause you know..." He said more than half jokingly "...this time if you fuck it up, it won't just be me who kicks your arse. Molly will too. She takes her role as chief bridesmaid very seriously." 

Elvis held his hands up in submission. Backing away.

"Nothing to worry about mate. Nothing at all." Both friends smiled an understanding smile at each other. They then started walking again, both now heading off in a differing directions, back to their cars.

Elvis shouted back, with a final wave.

"So see you tomorrow Charlie Boy? Flights at 10. Meeting parentals about 08.00 for pre-flight drinks. Don't be late." 

And then he was gone. Leaving Charles smiling at just how happy his friend was. How pleased it had all worked out for him and Jacqui the second time around and so quickly. Excited that in the coming days that Elvis would finally marry his one true love, and Charles and Molly, and a lot more of their friends, would be by their sides to help them celebrate. 

"It was pretty perfect wasn't it?" She leaned across and rested her head on his arm. Enjoying the warm Mediterranean evening. Alone at last. She continued. "Jacqui and Elvis' wedding I mean." 

He slipped his arm up and over her shoulders. Pulling her into him.

"Yeah." He kissed into her hair. "Considering it was all planned in six weeks." 

"What they wanted." She said. "Guessed they thought they'd waited long enough."

He only hummed a reply.

"Mind you..." Molly went on. "...Did hear a few comments about shot guns, and Jax's tummy being explained as more than just a food baby!"

Charles laughed. It was true that Jacqui and Elvis had a secret they didn't want to share, except with a close few, but the proposal was given and accepted even before the pregnancy test was done. The positive result was just the icing on the cake as far as they were both concerned. Elvis, Charles mused, was a very lucky man. 

They sat together in a happy silence. Charles stroking her bare shoulder slowly and watched Molly as she thoughtfully played with her engagement ring. The ring that had found its way back onto her finger the first morning of his memorable leave. There had been no new declaration of love, no new grand gesture. Only his contrition as to how he'd asked her, how wrong it all had been. She forgave him, instantly, and as she gripped onto his body after that first time of making love after such a long abstinence, uttering her love for him as her body responded to his, he knew he was forgiven. He knew it was how he loved her from now on that mattered, how he made her happy from that day forward that would mean the world to his Molly.

And so that's exactly what he had done. Loved her every day, more and more than the last. Making sure she knew that he wanted her, he wanted a life with her, no matter what it may bring. As long as they were together.

They revelled in the peace of the evening. Lounging on the hotel's veranda. Regaining their strength after almost two days of constant activity, celebrating, and rejoicing at the wedding. This was their first time truly alone on days, and they savoured it. All the other guests, and there had been many, had already gone home. Tomorrow they too would be heading home, but they still had tonight. 

"I've been thinking." She softly spoke, and waited... he didn't let her down. It was almost a tradition now. 

"Oh that sounds dangerous Dawes." He laughed as he knew he'd been expected to say it. Raising his eyes brows in a questioning amusement look at her. His lips pulled together to stop his smile escaping. 

She raised herself up briefly to playfully slap him on the arm. Mock offence etched on her face. Then she settled down back into his arms, but turned to face him. 

"Although it was perfect for them. That's not how I would do it." Said Molly rubbing her hands slowly over his lips, releasing them and thus relaxing his smile. 

The cicadas loudly filled the silence that had fallen between them. Charles to startled to start talking again. They'd never talked about their wedding before. It seemed at times almost too dangerous subject to broach. He prepared his words so they were the right ones. Looking at her face half hidden in the twilight, he went to start. 

She didn't give him a chance though... Molly snuggled into his embrace even more. Stretched her short clad legs on the double sun lounger they shared and continued. 

"Too many people for me. I'd want something quieter. You know just something for us." 

He smiled down at her; even though she couldn't see his face she felt it. 

"That's what it's all meant to be about though isn't it? She asked. "Us? Not the cake or the dress, or the guests. Just us. What do you think?" 

"Yeah. Just us." He agreed, she was right. It seemed all so simple. Then he continued. Continued on a topic that they had never discussed before. "Though you know Mum would kill us if we did her out of a party? You know that... right?" 

She sat up and looked at him. His arm falling from her shoulders and grabbing her hands in case she presumed to get up. To move away from him. 

"Well... yeah there is that." She went quiet. Then in a heartbeat she went on. "We could have that after though couldn't we?" She smiled the question to him as she leaned in to kiss him, bribing him with her love. 

"We can do whatever we want." He pulled her into him and she settled into the crook of his neck. 

"You smell so good." She offered. The change of subject surprised him slightly.

She however was enjoying grazing her fingers across the stubble on his face. It showed he was off duty, out of Major mode and relaxed. It was like a 'do not disturb' sigh for all to see. That, when he was like that he wasn't Army, that he was just her Charles. 

For a while they were content listening to the sea lapping in the distance and the noises of the peaceful night. He started to wonder if the conversation was truly over. He even thought she'd fallen asleep at one stage, the events of the past few days catching up on them. He knew how she felt, he felt tired too. 

"So when?" Her words hummed un-expectantly into his chest. The words and the sensation almost causing his heart to burst. He just about held on to some decorum, his voice steady, though he felt anything but. 

"Tomorrow? Next week? Whenever? As soon as we can Molly." He delicately replied. The happiness in his voice so hard to disguise. 

He waited but she said no more, and after a while he knew she'd drifted off. 

"For goodness sake Edward." Elizabeth shouted. "We need to leave now. We can't be late." 

Edward suffering in silence, as he had always done raced down the stairs to meet his wife anxiously waiting. 

"You look lovely dear." He pacified her with a kiss and a compliment. 

She was in too good a mood, and smiled back at him. 

"Thank you." Then altering his button hole added. "Today's a good day isn't it?" 

He pulled her in towards him. Mindful of her corsage. "Yes my dear, it certainly is. A very good day." 

They smiled as they silently counted their blessings. Then suddenly she said. "Now can we go Edward? We really need to leave." 

Finally the house was quite. Still. Charles and Molly's house, peaceful and calm, just how she'd wanted her day to be.

Charles had stayed in the sitting room pacing nervously, banished from their room. Waiting. Brushing imaginary bits of fluff of his dark blue line suit jacket. Rearranging his tie for the thousandth time, calming down his independent curls. Trying to look perfect for her. 

He didn't have to wait long. She was as eager as him for this day. Soon she started to make her way downstairs, once she knew the coast was clear. 

He stared at his love. Looking like the beauty she undeniably was. Her hair scooped up and off her shoulders. Tidy but not professionally coiffured, styled instead by her own fair hands, with one or two random flowers weaved in. Her make up minimal and complimentary.

Perfect Molly.

She looked beautiful he thought as a lump came to his throat. He looked like his Molly, like the woman he was destined to be with for the rest of his life. 

Her dress floated around her as she moved down the stairs. Her eyes locked on to his happy face, knowing she'd chosen well with the dress. Again it was something simple, almost plain, but that's what's made her and it so beautiful. The simplicity of the cut of the raw oyster silk dress, three quarter in length and just off her shoulders, flowed over her, and over her heart that was beating loudly for the man standing in front of her. 

The man today she was going to marry. The man who had all of her heart, for now and forever. No words were said. He merely kissed her cheek and handed her the small poesy of flowers. Grasping her arm they turned to walk to the car. Both smiling. 

Today was the day they would marry. Just them. Edward and Elizabeth the only witnesses. No one else, and afterwards for a few days Charles was taking Molly away for some alone time. They'd told no one, bar his parents. Hers would not be interested, even though she had again tried to reconnect with them. They had planned today quickly and simply. No fuss, no large crowds, just them. 

Just them for now, anyway because as soon as they got back they had it all to face. The friends to tell, to explain why. To hope that no one was too disappointed in what they had done, and then worse of all they had a party to plan. The pay off, the sweetener to the deal as far as Elizabeth was concerned. She'd accepted they could have today, do it their way, but after that any future celebrations would need to be planned, and she was just the woman to do so. 

As Charles helped Molly into the car she turned and softly stoked his face. 

"You look so very handsome." She said as he stood there in his newly bought attire. Casual, as they day was going to be, but very smart. Sometimes she knew he still had doubts about his self-image. He never said but she knew and reassured his delicate ego whenever she could. "And I love you, very much... no matter what." 

He bent down to get closer to her, leaning through the open passenger door. 

"I know, and thank you. Thank you for everything." He softly held her face. "And I love you too... whatever." 

Nothing more needed to be said. He moved around the car and jumped into the driver's side. 

"You look so beautiful Molly." He said so quietly that had her whole soul, all her senses, not belonged to him on that day she might not have heard it, but she did and she beamed back at him.

"Thank you." 

"So Dawes?" He asked. In mock seriousness. "You ready to become Mrs James?" 

She nodded.

"Definitely. Let's do this Major James. Let go and start the rest of our lives together." 

He chucked holding her hand in his and off they went. 

Together. 

Just like they always should be and always would be. 

Together.

Bonded.

Steadfast in their love. 


End file.
